


Choices

by DanaEliza



Category: Naruto
Genre: Choices, M/M, Sexual Content, life decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:28:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 57,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1552124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanaEliza/pseuds/DanaEliza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coming from a strict family, Itachi has never dated anyone before, only focusing on his studies. But when Deidara comes into his life, sweeping him off his feet, every decision he has ever made for the future is out the door. But maybe it's not such a bad thing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the club

**Author's Note:**

> Rewritten version of my very first chapter fic. Posted on fanfiction as well. If you want to see the previous version, send me a message and I'll show you!

In the club

The harsh beat of the music practically vibrated through the crowd, everyone moving in sync in some strange dance routine that was programmed into the mind and I was one of them. Hips swaying whenever the music was fit for it I let myself go. The air was thick with the smell of sweat and I could feel my own trickling down my back. Oh, how I loved to go out clubbing. Only when I went out did I feel like I could completely let go, stop acting the way I should according to society or rather my father. Another place I could let go was the bedroom, but I usually combined the two. First find a dancing partner, rubbing bodies together until the heat became too much and then quickly get out of the club and go home with someone. This made Saturday the best day of the week, if you were asking for my opinion.

Like every week this week was filled with studying, my dad pressuring me into working harder, doing better, achieving the best I could. All because he still thought I was going to work for him when I graduated college. I hadn't built up the nerve to tell him the truth yet.

My dream differed a lot from my father's. Where he wanted me to take on a managing job at the Uchiha firm, I wanted to open my own art gallery someday. In my free time I tried to paint as much as possible, trying out different art styles and developing my own. It was difficult hiding this from my father, but my mother supported me through all my decisions and helped me hide it from my father. My little brother actually wanted to work in the Uchiha firm, so why didn't my father give him a chance instead?

A different song started playing, asking me to move my body differently, but it all happened automatically, letting the music lead my body. In search of my next victim I let my eyes wander through the club. At first I didn't notice anything special. Right until my eyes fell on a cute little blond standing by the bar. He was looking rather uncomfortable, bright blue eyes glaring at everyone that stepped a little too close. This would be a challenge, but sometimes I just needed those. To see if I could even seduce someone that didn't want any attention at all.

Moving through the crowd I slowly made my way to the bar, standing a few feet away from this interesting blond creature. A heavy glare was still set in place and I wondered what he was even doing here. Not to enjoy himself at least. Thinking I should stay hydrated I ordered a drink, slowly sipping it as I glanced over at him. Blond had always been my weakness, the colour always immediately capturing my attention and I had to admit that this was really one of the most beautiful shades of blond I had ever seen. This vibrant colour reaching down to the guy's waist, it partially pulled up in a ponytail to give it some extra volume and then a long bang covering half of his face, giving him a bit of a mysterious look. I instantly felt like touching it.

Carefully I crept closer and closer, making sure the blond didn't notice I was moving his way. And then out of nowhere some redhead started talking to him, taking away my opportunity to actually speak to him. Thankfully the blond waved him off, getting rid of him instantly. Good, because no one was going to steal my prey tonight. The redhead rolled his eyes at the blond's gesture and then disappeared onto the dance floor, joining some of his friends. The group waved at the blond, motioning for him to come join them, but he simply glanced away, acting like he hadn't even seen them. Made it only easier for me.

Only one more step and then I was right beside the blond.

With a light tap on the shoulder I tried getting the blond's attention, putting up a smile to look inviting. Usually my smile did the trick already. 'Hey,' I greeted him, trying to make my voice loud enough to reach above the music. Not something that was easily done.

An eyebrow was raised in response and then the blond turned his full body away, making sure I got the point. He was not willing to talk to me and was not here to socialize. Too bad for him I wasn't one to give up. I had hardly even tried.

Casually I leaned back against the bar, letting my eyes slide through the crowd. All this I did to put the guy at ease. After a minute his body relaxed again and he turned his body slightly back to stand more comfortably and keep an eye out for the things around him. Wandering hands was something that happened a lot here. And then I took another shot. 'You seem to be having a lot of fun,' I mocked.

Immediately he turned to face me, blue eyes glaring up at me and giving off some kind of threatening vibe. I was not impressed to say the least. Those blue eyes were just too kind. 'Let's just say this isn't really my scene,' he gritted out and then turned away from me once more, hair moving along with him and almost slapping me in the face.

This made things interesting. I had gotten him far enough that he was willing to speak to me. He could've simply walked away, but he still chose not to. Moving around him I stood on his other side. I could see the muscles in his jaw tightening, annoyance clearly written on his face. I put on my famous Uchiha smile, one that got me everything I wanted, always. 'I'm Itachi.'

Folding his arms together the blond's eyes slid up and down my body, one nicely sculpted eyebrow raised. 'And I am straight,' he said plainly, challenging look on his eyes, as if to dare me to continue this.

As if that was going to stop me anyway…

Raising an eyebrow of my own and letting the smile slip off my face I shot him a confused look. It may sound a little insulting, but he did look a bit stereotypical gay. I didn't want to judge him for it, but I had to ask. 'Really?'

Furiously the guy looked up at me, blue eyes boring into my own. He was about to punch me it seemed… 'Excuse me?' he called out, sticking out his chest to look larger. 'What's that supposed to mean?' I might've stuffed it up or had I?

Taking this opportunity of having the blond close to me I slid my fingers through his long locks, following the wave down till his waist. 'I apologise. I was really hoping you weren't. You are just very attractive.' And it's not like straight guys couldn't suddenly swing my way. It had happened before and I still had my eyes set on this beautiful creature.

The annoyed look was still present on his face, but a light blush had now formed on his cheeks. My hand was still steadily placed against his hip and I could feel his body swaying away from my touch. 'Deidara,' he mumbled and just like that I had succeeded.

'Can I buy you another drink, Deidara?' Testing his name on my tongue I decided I liked it. It was a name I hadn't heard before and seemed to fit him perfectly. Now we just had to find out if he was happy with me saying his name as well.

For a short moment Deidara glanced up at me and then quickly looked down again. 'Whatever,' he replied seemingly uncaring, but it gave me permission. So I bought two more drinks and soon we were both sipping happily of them. At least I was, though I think Deidara liked my taste in drinks.

As we enjoyed our drinks my eyes wandered his way again, taking in how good he really looked. Skin hugging black skinny jeans, making his ass look even more prominent. A simple blue t-shirt with some kind of colourful print on it. His features were a little feminine, but it suited him quite well. I've always considered myself a bisexual, seeing I could definitely fall for a woman, but did lean more towards males than females.

Something notable about his appearance, besides his long blond hair, was a small silver ring on the right side of his bottom lip. It gave him something tough, taking away some of the softer features of his face. Another feature that suited him quite well. I had never been with someone who had a lip piercing, so wondering what it would feel like when kissing was an easy step made. And what about more piercings. Would there be something else to explore on that lithe body?

It was time to break the silence, so I placed a hand on his shoulder, making him look up at me again. 'Do you want to dance?' I asked.

'I don't dance and I'm still straight,' came the short reply, immediately shaking off my hand to avoid any kind of contact with me. I thought I was getting closer, but it seemed to be more difficult than I had initially thought. He really was straight then. The black line under his eyes, drawn by a thin eyeliner made me think otherwise, but I didn't know much about fashion nowadays. It was just me stereotyping him. Funny how it did make him look even better. His eyes popped even more with their bright blue shine.

This guy really was hotter than anyone I had hit on in this club, ever. He just had this air around him that pulled me in and he couldn't let go now. Deidara couldn't walk away anymore. I needed to have him.

'Have you ever been with a man?' A tricky question, because it could actually get me punched in the face and I would've deserved it. I was aware it was annoying to be hit on by a gay man repeatedly when one was straight. I just had to risk everything at this point and I would risk his anger.

Blue eyes shot my way again and he clearly wasn't frightened of me in anyway. Anger wasn't something I was seeing either. It was more arrogance mixed with a little irritation. It made sense. 'No, of course not,' he replied, tone implying that I had just asked the strangest question I could've asked.

But I could actually work with this. Play with him a little. 'How can you be so sure that you're straight then?' I started. 'I tried both sides and can honestly say I'm attracted to both men and women.' This was logic he couldn't deny, but it was still silly. Who would go along with this?

Though it seemed to actually work. His mouth opened and closed a few times, Deidara trying to find the right words to answer to that statement. 'Alright, I have never tried it with a man,' he began, eyes shifting away from me. The blush was back into place. My new strategy had actually worked it seemed. And then those blue eyes went back up, a finger pointing at my chest. 'But I still don't do one night stands.'

And that was not something I could beat. Yes, I could work him all night, feed him drunk, feel him up on the dance floor and perhaps he was worth it. But tonight was not the night for a lot of work. My week had been hell and I just wanted something easy. Chances were this one would actually cling. 'Well, I'll go find someone else then.' And with a nod I was about to turn away from him, eyes moving through the crowd already to find the next victim.

Immediately a hand was on my arm, turning me back around and a smirking Deidara was staring at me. 'You're giving up already? I really thought you would be more persistent than that.' He cocked his head to the side, apparently finding this all very amusing. I realised his smile made his face even more beautiful. But hadn't he practically given me permission to try harder? Perhaps I could share the bed with him tonight then…

'How will I convince you then?' I felt leaving my lips, breathlessly staring at his still smirking lips.

A light shrug of the shoulders wasn't much of an answer, but he still looked rather happy. It was strange how he could change moods so fast, but in this case it was in my benefit I guess. 'Well, I still don't do one nightstands, but you can take me out sometime. As you said, how can I be sure right?'

My eyes narrowed lightly. I understood the offer, but that wasn't what I was looking for. I wanted something tonight, not work for something that I might have in months. Not to mention that my father would never let me date a male and it would be difficult to keep this hidden from him. He would shoot me before I had even made a reservation at a restaurant.

'I don't date.'

The smile slowly slipped off his face and now he mostly looked confused and I spotted hurt somewhere in those blue depths. 'How can you not date? Or are you that much of a slut? You really come here just to have a one night stand.' He practically spat the words in my face, clearly not pleased with this at all. Who was he to judge me though? What did it matter what I came here for? He didn't want me in the first place, so why was there such a big problem. Why could he say he didn't want to have a one night stand while I couldn't say I didn't want a date?

'At least I knew what I came here for and am enjoying myself. You on the other hand have mostly been moping here,' I replied, keeping a levelled tone, but making sure the guy got the point. There was no need to point an accusing finger at the other person. It was perhaps just time to part ways and move on.

Now Deidara was angry, seeing how he gave me a harsh push against my chest. Not that it actually did anything. I slightly wavered backwards, but stayed on my feet easily. I worked out a few times a week at the gym near my college and Deidara was rather skinny looking. Couldn't have much muscle on his body. After that he walked straight to the exit and disappeared from sight. I hadn't meant to insult him as he had me, but with the way he hurriedly left I knew something was wrong.

It was annoying, but I knew I had to follow him. His friends hadn't even noticed and I still was a good guy somewhere. And if I someday do want to date, it would be nice if he and I at least were friends. As soon as I opened the door the cold air hit me and I cursed myself for forgetting my coat. This better be worth it…

A few feet away from the exit of the club was Deidara, leaning against the cold brick wall. The sight alone made me shiver. Damn it, it was way too cold for this shit. His head hung forward, hair sheltering his face from sight, but the posture said enough. He was sad, about something… What I had said couldn't be that hurtful.

Slowly I moved towards him, giving Deidara the time to realise I was approaching. As soon as he did he glanced off to the side, hair sheltering even more of his face. His arms were wrapped around his body, trying his best to keep his own heat in. There were better temperatures to have drama in. I couldn't do much now though, seeing I was just as cold. The only thing I offered was standing beside him, shoulder touching shoulder to give him some form of warmth. Deidara didn't step away, so it seemed did appreciate the gesture.

'I didn't mean to insult you.' Better just jump right into this conversation and get it over with. If something else was wrong he either would tell me to fuck off or he would now break and spill whatever was wrong.

Carefully blue eyes moved up to my face and for a moment Deidara just stared at me and then with a deep sigh he let go. 'I'm not really mad at you,' he replied, rubbing his arms to give himself some warmth. 'You were right to think I'm gay, because I do think I am.' Quite the revelation so suddenly. Still an interesting one though. 'I just had enough on my mind and didn't feel like focusing on it, so I have been ignoring it mostly. And then mister hot guy comes around!' To emphasize his words he pointed at me, frowning as if it was the most absurd thing ever. I couldn't say this wasn't something I liked hearing. The one I liked thought I was hot… I was pleased with myself, but only on the inside. No time to gloat. 'So finally I get over myself and thought why not finally give it a shot. See if you are gay. And then…' Another deep sigh left his lips and defeated he hung his head low. 'Mister hot guy blows me off, because I'm not willing to put out so fast.'

Okay, that kind of made me look like an ass. Struggling with your sexuality was difficult enough, I was aware of that. It's not like I had fully made my peace with it. Or I had, but my father gave it some trouble. Still I felt bad and wanted to resolve this. Now it was my turn to let out a defeated sigh. 'If I take you out on one date, would you feel better then?'

A small smile tugged at his lips and that was all I needed to see. 'I would like that,' he answered, bumping his shoulder against mine as he looked down with a light blush. So this was all very new to me as well…

Flipping out my wallet I got out my card, handing it to him. 'Here's my number. If you want to go through with this, just send me a text or give me a call. If I don't hear from you in the next few days I'll assume it's off the table.' Better get things straight and not give myself the hopes up that this would work out. Why was I protecting myself already?

Eagerly Deidara accepted the card and stuck it in his pocket. The smile he then had on his lips took my breath away and with every bit of power I had in me I turned away from him, giving him a nod as a parting gesture. I still wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but then came the soft spoken words, taking away any doubts I had. 'Thank you, Itachi.'


	2. Stress

The plan for last night hadn't worked out the way I had wanted it to. The idea was to find someone in the club that seemed interesting enough and then go home with them, release some stress and enjoy the evening. But instead I ended up with giving my phone number to someone and then going home, all alone… The stressed feeling I had been harboring all week and had not disappeared yet due to this and now it was time to study once more. Always nice to build up some more stress, right? I don't even really get why I gave my number to that guy, supported him and was all nice. At least for me it was a nice gesture. It could actually get me in trouble and was Deidara really worth all this? If he texted or called me, we would most probably plan a date, have a nice evening together and then go our separate ways again. I wasn't convinced this was actually going to be something special. But before the date had actually happened and we had parted again, I had to stay abstinent. Dealing with drama over one date was not worth it. So this was going to be a tough week…

Especially considering I had a paper due by the end of the week and next week had four exams, which all needed enough time to study for. College was going to kill me, very slowly.

The soft hum of the computer filled the room, letting me know it was on for quite a while already. I blinked a few times, trying to get my eyes to focus better on the screen. My eyesight wasn't too great already, but when I was tired it got even worse. The letters tended to blur together and then it was just one faded grey line across the screen. In my daily life I wore contacts, but after a night of clubbing my eyes got too irritated to wear them. I blamed the smoke machines they loved using. So right now I was wearing my glasses, the ones that made me appear like a computer nerd, if I had to believe my little brother. But even wearing those now didn't help. I hardly could see any words on my screen. Enlarging the type might help, but at this point I was just not in the mood anymore.

Nausea started to build up in the pit of my stomach as the stressed feeling got worse. It had happened before and thankfully I had decided not to eat a lot during breakfast. Right now it saved me from a trip to the bathroom, because my stomach was about to give out.

Leaning back in my chair I relaxed a little, taking a few collecting breaths. My body calmed down somewhat, but I probably should lay down. Though if my father caught me sleeping, even if it was for good reasons, I would get scolded at. So it was better to continue working. Unfortunately after a whole extra page written the nauseous feeling came back. This time it was unavoidable. Quickly I got up and out of the room, practically running towards the bathroom down the hall. And as I kneeled in front of the porcelain bowl, I threw up everything I had for breakfast. It wasn't a lot, but still left a nasty taste in my mouth.

Hugging the toilet as if it were my best friend I stayed there for a while. Normal people would be like this, because of how much they had drank the previous night. I on the other hand was lame enough to throw up due to stress. At least I felt a little better now, but it was best to take a break, even if it wasn't a smart move. I couldn't afford another trip to the bathroom again. That also cost me valuable time, so better do something that was actually enjoyable.

Turning on the hot water of the shower I decided it was a good idea to relax under the warm beam of water. Taking off my oversized t-shirt and my sweatpants, which I really only wore around the house, I got ready. With toothbrush in my mouth I stepped inside the cabin, testing the water temperature on my back and instantly burning it. I never learned… But eventually I settled into it, lazily brushing my teeth to get the nasty taste to leave my mouth. It didn't take too long to finally relax and not think about any further studying, even if I still had to continue it after this.

Leaning my head against the cold tiled wall, I could feel the headache ebb away slowly. I hadn't even realised I was suffering from one, but it had become quite normal for me whenever I was studying anyway.

Time slowly ticked away and I had no idea how long I had been in there, but a knock on the door pulled me back to reality. Pushing myself off the wall I shot a glare at the closed door, annoyed with whomever had disturbed me. I know I wasn't to complain, but I felt like crap and couldn't keep my voice levelled as I usually could. 'What?'

'Are you alright, sweetie? You've been in there for a long time already.' My mother sounded sincerely worried and that made me feel a little guilty for the way I had responded to her, but it was logical she was worried. Every mother would be at this point or at least a mother that paid attention to their child. I could be doing horrible things in here, though I also could be doing very normal boy things. Would've been embarrassing if that had been the case.

'I'm alright, mother. Nothing to worry about,' I replied softly, shutting off the water. The mood to relax was gone now anyway, so why pretend and waste more water?

It stayed silent for a while and I wondered if she was still there. Though I didn't expect my mother to give up so soon and leave me be that easily. 'Do you need anything?' she asked after a while, that worried tone still in her voice.

It was very difficult to keep in the sigh, but I managed. 'I don't need anything, thank you. I'm already getting out.'

For a moment she hesitated and I could practically staring at me through the door, but then she gave in. 'Okay, I'll see you downstairs then.' Shuffling away I could hear her soft slippers padding away on the carpeted floor, it getting softer and softer till she made it to the stairs and disappeared.

Now it was finally time to get out of the shower cabin and dry myself off. Grabbing an extra big towel I let the fluffy texture do its job, taking in all the water. For a while I just stood there with the towel wrapped around my shoulders, waiting on something, though I wasn't sure what. Throwing it onto the floor, uncaring where it landed I moved back towards my discarded clothes and put on the sweatpants I had previously been wearing. After giving the shirt a whiff, I knew I wasn't going to wear that anymore. It smelled a little like vomit and it would only fuel the nauseous feeling.

Shirtless I moved back to my bedroom, walking passed Sasuke's room. His door was open and he shot me a weird look, eyebrow raised as if I was the weird one. I just kept on walking and closed the door behind me once I entered the bedroom. If he wanted to know what was up, he should merely ask.

Opening up my closet I grabbed the first clean t-shirt of the pile and put it on, pulling on it a little. It seemed a little small, probably because it was washed too often, but at this point I didn't care enough to get a new shirt. My focus was now on my grumbling stomach. Apparently it had figured it was empty and now that the paper was not on my mind anymore, my body felt like it needed food again.

Going downstairs to get food was not really an option though. My father would be there. He would go to the kitchen just because I was there and then ask questions about my paper, how it was going, if I needed help. Just questions I didn't want to answer, because I didn't want to focus on my paper right now. So I needed to come up with a different way to get some food on my hands.

Considering I wasn't going to work on my paper anytime soon, I could go for a ride around time. Grab my car and see where it takes me. Along the way I could grab a bite somewhere. Being out of the house might do me some good.

On tiptoes I made my way downstairs, making sure no one would notice my leaving. As soon as my father heard me, he would come see me immediately. I was almost out the door, coat on and keys picked up from the pile, when my mother peeked around the corner.

'Hey, going somewhere?' she asked, sweet smile on her lips.

Glancing back over my shoulder, I let a pleading look slip in, begging her not to call my father. 'Yes, just going for a ride. I'll make sure to be back before dinner.'

Stepping inside the hall way I saw she was folding a small towel. Apparently she had been doing laundry and had been folding everything in the living room. Probably in front of the tv to get some distraction in. 'Are you sure? Shouldn't you be studying? You were already in the shower for an awful long time.' I could practically hear my father's words running through her voice. He had trained her so well… At least she didn't call my father to encourage her words even more.

'I can't really focus on it right now. I just need some fresh air and then I'll get right back to it, I promise.' I was praying she would be okay with this, because I really didn't want to deal with it any further. Let me control my own life for a change. I can't always do their bidding.

Thankfully she nodded in reply and then took her folded towel back into the living room, letting me leave. At least my mother understood there was a life besides school I needed to live and would grant me with these little bits of freedom. It was already a miracle they let me go clubbing on the weekends, though I think my father called it the youth in me that needed to be let out.

Shutting the door as quietly as possible behind me I finally made it out of the house. Raising up the remote control car key I unlocked the doors of my black Audi A1. A gift for my 21st birthday last year, from my father. I really loved that car… It wasn't too big, but still had this edge to it, especially with the black paint. It gave it this slick look while the cream leather seats gave it something classy. To my it was just a gorgeous car. You could say a lot about my father, but he did know something about cars.

Sliding into the front seat I turned on the car. Adjusting the rear view mirror I got ready to move. Just something I did out of habit. It wasn't like it wasn't set in the right place. Looking through it though I noticed my father standing in the doorway, staring at me. I had to move quickly now, because this meant my mother had warned him about my leaving. Shifting it to the first gear I quickly let go of the clutch and pushed in the gas pedal, driving off the driveway before he could even think about walking towards me.

Moving through the part of town where we lived I ignored the pretty views of the gorgeous mansions. Something I had seen often enough. It was when I got to the poorer part of town that I looked around, enjoying how the streets were busy with so many people. This was the highly populated section and it always seemed if the people were nicer here. Less snobbish. The high buildings also fascinated me. They weren't very pretty, but the fact that humans had been inventive enough to figure out that stacking people on top of each other was beneficial for a town was interesting. I would love to live among the people, but my family would never approve. It was beneath us…

Turning another corner I slowly drove down the street, my eyes moving from the people, to the buildings and then to try finding a spot to park my car. I still needed to eat and this was the place to be for that. So many little cafés that offered cheap meals. Very crowded too, but I didn't mind that, not at all.

Finding a small spot at the end of the block I squeezed my car into it and then got my stuff to get out. And as I was about to step out, my eyes fell on something I hadn't expected to see so soon. It was very difficult to miss such a bright blond hairdo though…


	3. The First

Slow but steadily the blond spot was moving my way, Deidara's features showing he didn't have a care in the world and if anyone would mess with him, he would punch them in the face. Quite a bit of an attitude he carried there, but it suited him. He really was as exquisite as he had been last night. I couldn't blame the alcohol for my sudden interest anymore. There was just something about him that pulled me in instantly and somehow I didn't mind going on that date anymore. If I didn't think of my father's judgment that is.

Perhaps I could invite him for a late lunch and have our first date that way. Here was the opportunity, so why not? Leaning through the still opened door I pressed the honk, immediately gaining the attention of many people around, but I was only aiming for one. Who flipped me off without even looking at me. Amazing how that was his first reaction. Must get honked at a lot, but who wouldn't want the attention of such a beauty.

Casually I leaned back against my car, watching him pass by without even looking my way and as he was a few feet ahead of me, I finally called out to him. 'You always give your future date the finger.'

His whole body posture said that he was annoyed, thinking some random guy was hitting on him in the middle of the street with the worst pickup line ever. It kind of was if it had been a pickup line. First he only turned his head, glancing over his shoulder who it could be and probably to give me some kind of rude response. But then recognition slowly slipped on his face as his body completely turned my way, eyes wide and cheeks a blazing red.

'I'm so sorry,' he sputtered, lowering his head a little in shame. 'I didn't realise it was you.' Which shouldn't have mattered in the first place. Flipping someone off right away was rather rude and not how I was raised. But who was I to judge? It's not like I know what Deidara's life had been like before this.

Assuring him with a smile I waved him over, not accepting his apology just yet. Let's make him sweat a little while longer. At first he kind of glanced around, unsure if he should accept the invitation or not. He needed some encouragement it seemed. 'I'm only inviting you to get some food me, but if you don't want to, I'll just go by myself.' Turning away from him to show him I was really leaving without him, he finally spoke up.

'No, wait!' Another hesitation and I curiously glanced over my shoulder, seeing he was biting his lip, the ring in his lip coming up a little higher. 'I-I'll come.' Slowly he moved towards me, eyeing the car I was standing next to and then the blue eyes moved up to my face. 'Nice car,' he complimented, but I could see he was forming an opinion on me. It was an expensive car and I was fairly young, so as most people thought when they first saw me, he thought I was a spoiled brat.

Tugging at the sleeve of his black jacket I urged him to walk and we were on our way to some place that looked nice. I had nothing particular in mind and this way we had some time to talk. 'Thank you. My father gave it to me for my 21st birthday last year.' The only nice thing he did do that I actually wanted him to. Yes, he paid for college, but not for a study I actually wanted to do.

'That's pretty cool.' His tone was a little… off. Very cold and his blond bang obscured most of his face, making me unable to even look at him. It was odd and it left this mood hanging around us. If he hadn't wanted to be here, then he could've just said no and left.

I never was very good at handling these situations, so my reply came just as short and empty as his had been. Of course it was a mood killer, but I couldn't help myself. 'Yes, it was.'

Silence then stretched on between us, the only sound heard coming from the steady pace of our feet hitting the ground and the cars passing by on the street beside us. I wasn't good at filling the silence with empty words and small talk, though I had a way with words when it came to people who I felt attracted to. But that was a different way of talking. It was to lure them into my bed and that was not my goal today.

'So, you're 21 already,' Deidara finally spoke up, breaking the silence and I couldn't help but feel relieved. If this had stretched on longer, than this date would've ended badly. Maybe that would've been a good thing considering we would be done with each other then. But I didn't want it to end that way. I at least wanted to give it a fair shot.

Nodding at Deidara's words I answered. 'Yes, a real adult now.' Glancing his way I could see his face was slightly turned my way too, his blue eye slightly uncovered from the long blond hair.

A grin formed on his lips as he turned more fully towards me, walking more sideways now to actually look me in the eyes. 'I'm only nineteen, so I guess this means I can be as childish is I want to be, right? Since I am not an adult yet.' He was teasing me and if there was something I liked, it was a challenge.

With my famous Uchiha smirk I looked down at him, making him very aware of our height difference. 'If you want to, of course you may act childish. Go wreck something like the little troublemaker you are. It would suit you,' I teased right back, casually glancing forward again as if I hadn't said something that could be taken the wrong way. There was no harm behind my words though. There was no reason for me think Deidara was childish in the first place.

'Because I am shorter, right?' he shot right back, eyebrow raised as he countered my teasing. 'Not really a good reason if you ask me.' And then suddenly his eyes started looking me up and down and then stayed down, staring at a certain area for a long time. It made me feel slightly uncomfortable. Not really the place nor the time to stare at that particular area and I hadn't given him any reason to do so. His hand was then raised and he pointed at me down below. Was I showing something? 'What's with the sweats?'

Shit, I had forgotten to actually put on something presentable. Not that I had expected to run into Deidara here, but it definitely wasn't a good look. Rubbing my forehead I could feel Deidara's opinion changing from Mr. hot stuff to hobo picked up from the street. This really was not good. How could I have screwed up this badly in the first few minutes? And this was why I didn't date. Yeah, totally the reason…

Carefully I dared to glance his way again and he was shooting me a mesmerizing smile. For a moment I forgot to breathe. 'Don't feel bad,' he assured. 'I think you look sexy.' And that teasing tone was right back into his voice. 'Especially with that tight fitting shirt, showing off all your curves.' His finger slid over my chest and down my stomach, making my breath hitch for a moment.

I couldn't let him beat me now, could I? He was still teasing me and if there was one thing I always needed to do, it was winning. 'For your first time dating a guy, you're pretty bold, Deidara.' I practically purred his name and I could see him shiver when my voice reached his ears.

Smile faltering and blush returning to his face, Deidara averted his eyes, finding it safer not to look at me anymore. 'I just tried flirting a bit. Don't make such a big deal out of it,' he sneered, folding his arms together in front of his chest, putting up a strong defence. Perhaps I had taken it too far, but I couldn't help but laugh. His reaction had been funny and he couldn't stand losing as much as I. 'Why are you laughing at me?' he asked angrily, blue eyes blazing when they looked up at me once more.

'I just think you're cute when you're flirting,' I answered with a smirk, making a fresh blush form on his cheeks and his blue eyes turn a little lighter again.

'Oh,' he said, seeing he had fallen for that one instantly. Not a great save, but it made him really cute. This guy would be a lot to handle, but that did make this more interesting. He was a little arrogant, judgmental and had a bit of a temper, but it all fitted his appearance so well. Everything about him was just a little too much, as if he couldn't keep everything in, because then he might explode.

Silence settled between us again, but this time it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. This was one I could handle, sneaking glances at him from time to time and seeing him do the same. I honestly enjoyed his company and I finally knew where I was taking him. Turning a corner I tugged at his sleeve again, making him aware of where I was going.

'Tell me something about yourself,' I said after a while, the need to hear his voice again growing by the minute.

Turning to look at me Deidara raised an eyebrow. That question was always the hardest to answer. One that didn't say much and picking something about yourself to say was definitely not easy. What could even interest the other? That's why I liked asking that question, because it made the other say the first thing that came to mind. 'What do you wanna know?'

Unfortunately Deidara disappointed me here or his answer did at least. From his point of view it was a smart move. Now I had to pick a subject for him and he knew instantly what I would be interested in. Deidara knew how to play this game. 'What you do from day to day? Do you have any siblings? What are your parents like? Do I need to continue?'

Not that I was giving him the satisfaction of only asking direct questions. He could pick one and then a few more on his own. An eye roll was the response I received for that. 'Yeah, I get your point. I'm a waiter at the Three Brothers and I work there five days a week. I live by myself, so I have to make a living.' His voice had been a little empty again, but it seemed he was more trying to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal. A nineteen year old living on their own wasn't unheard of, but it was also a bit much for a teen in my opinion.

I would not focus on that right now though, but continue with small talk. 'I know that restaurant. I heard the owners were actually brothers, right? I actually haven't been there yet, but now I have a reason to stop by very soon,' I ended with a wink.

Another eye roll was Deidara's response to my last comment, but I couldn't help but notice the smile tugging at his lips and of course the fingers brushing against the back of my hand. 'Yeah, they are brothers. Opened the place about two years ago and I've been there since the very beginning. The owners are Sasori, Nagato and Yahiko and you can recognize the brothers by their red hair. They call it their trademark.' He was motioning at his own hair as if it would suddenly turn a bright red and show me what colour their hair was. 'But you don't have to stop by on your own,' he suddenly added with a blush, brushing his blond bang in front of his face to obscure my vision on purpose. 'I could always take you there and show you around. I get a discount on food there.'

And there was the invite for a second date. I hadn't expected it to be there so soon already and for it to come from Deidara, but my heart did flutter in response. 'Okay,' I answered softly, staring at the side of his face for a while. Now it was my turn to break the silence, knowing Deidara still felt a little on edge by what he had just done. It was a big step, especially when it was his first time dating guy. Though in all honesty. It was my first time too, wasn't it? 'Alright, next question,' I quickly spoke up, snapping us both back in place.

'I have no siblings,' Deidara answered and I could hear the smile lingering in his voice, even if his hair was still hiding his lips from me. 'It's not really a happy story, but my mother died while she was giving birth to me. After that my dad stayed alone, so there never had been a chance of me getting a brother or sister.' He stopped talking for a moment, but I could see how he was contemplating saying more and I knew this was a personal subject. Normally I would've cut him off and ended things right now, not needing the drama, but this was not just a random lay. So I listened and waited until it was my turn to speak again. 'I actually left my dad when I turned sixteen and I haven't seen him since.' There was more to this story, but I didn't know how to ask about it. If I even could right now. I really had no experience whatsoever in this department.

Staying silent seemed like the best option and thankfully we had something else to change the subject. 'We're here,' I said softly, grabbing his pinkie I pulled him along.

With a startled expression he looked up and took a deep collecting breath, letting me guide him on until we reached the right spot. I couldn't help but notice the gleam in his eyes. If we continued seeing each other, I had to ask about his father.

A steady wind swept through our hair, making Deidara's long blond locks sweep around him like some kind of halo. Letting go of his pinkie I leaned forward on the low concrete wall they had built, keeping the sand off the streets. And right on the other side of that wall was the ocean. The smell of salt was thick in the air and the waves kept crashing against the shore. There were a few kids playing on the beach, but it was too cold to really do anything in the water.

We both knew of this place and Deidara had probably been here on his own as well, but I always had loved coming here. It was such a beautiful sight and the noises of the sea drowned out any other sound that could annoy me. It made me feel peaceful and it put my mind at ease. Something I certainly needed after a day of studying.

'It really is beautiful here,' Deidara whispered and I glanced over at him again.

I smiled at him and then knew it was time I showed him something else. Something I perhaps liked even more about this place. Grabbing him by the shoulders I forced him to turn around. Deidara looked a little annoyed at first, shooting me a confused look, but I didn't pay it any mind. He would find out soon enough. 'I just want to show you something,' I told him, pointing at the large buildings on the other side of the road. They were old and worn out, but the architecture was so beautiful. Baroque art framed the doors and stained glass were in the windows. The bricks the houses were made out of was a material that was no longer used, but it gave the buildings a bit of a sandy look, fitting right with the ocean side. I could just look at it all day.

Wanting to hear Deidara's opinion I glanced down at him, noticing how he had not been looking at the houses I was pointing out, but at me instead. Raising an eyebrow in return I silently asked him what was wrong. There was no reason for him to be smiling at me that way.

'You're cute when you look like that,' he told me, smile growing a little bigger and eyes holding a certain special shine to them.

There really was something about this guy, something that made me forget we were out in the open. That me being here was risking a lot, because if someone blabbed, I could be in a lot of trouble. But Deidara was worth it. He was worth it all. Carefully I leaned both hands on either side of his hips against the concrete wall and was met with the most innocent expression I had seen on his face that day. Brushing the blond bang to the side I finally uncovered both striking blue eyes and then without a second thought I moved down and kissed him. It had only been a slight brush of the lips, a small kiss to fit the sweet mood we were in.

As I pulled back I noticed him looking up with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. 'What was my first kiss with a man,' he said, sounding a little breathless and shocked at the same time.

Smirking down at him I brushed my nose against his, seeing his eyes close a little already and his lips moving towards mine. 'It wasn't that bad, right?' A shake of the head was my answer. 'Do you want to try it again?'

Eagerly Deidara nodded and who was I to reject him now? So I moved in for another kiss, one that lasted a little longer than the last.


	4. Family Meeting

After leaving the beach we got a sandwich from a booth and shared some light conversation. We had a good time together and I had really enjoyed myself, but at some point I had to get back to my studies and Deidara had other things to do as well. Being the gentleman I am I drove him home and dropped him off in front of his apartment building. It didn't look like much, but it had something homey. Sharing one last kiss through the open window Deidara walked off and I was on my way again.

Back home I entered the house with a smile on my face, immediately showing I had a good time. Perhaps not a smart move, but I couldn't wipe it off my face. I greeted my mother with that smile on my face and even continued working on my face, still smiling. The guy had gotten to me and he hadn't even done anything special. It was this casual way he carried himself. His life had not been the easiest and yet he didn't seem fazed by anything. It was rather strange actually that Deidara had been scared to come out, but he was rather young of course. He was just this gorgeous boy that I couldn't stay away from. I even felt the need to text him right now, telling him how fun it was to see him. But I would be getting ahead of myself then and I didn't want to come of desperate.

Getting completely lost in the paper after finally able to focus on it, time flied. I was actually finishing up by the time I got called down for dinner and only then did I realise it was already dark out. Staring at the screen with my bad eyes without having any light on was not a smart move. I should've paid attention, but no point dwelling on it now. Rubbing my eyes I tried to get rid of the tiredness that suddenly settled in and then glanced at the clock. Already eight in the evening. Only on days when father was busy did we eat this late. Chances were this was going to be a short meal then since father would want to get back to work. At least it gave us a free evening and now that I finished the paper, I could actually relax. This day had completely turned around. Perhaps he should thank Deidara for that.

Pressing save on last time to make sure the document wouldn't suddenly disappear, I left for downstairs. Flicking the light on in the hallway I glanced to the side. I could hear the soft hum of Sasuke's computer and his fingers rapidly typing away on the keyboard still. He was not moving just yet. Probably chatting with some girl he was trying to hook up with. He was quite the ladies' man, to put it nicely. I believe he was dating a girl with pink dyed hair now, but it could also be a blond. It fluctuates a lot, so I tend to not pay too much attention to it. Usually they only lasted about a week, some maybe two and all had the same dream. Maybe they could be that one girl that would stick, that could change Sasuke's ways. I started to wonder if there would ever be such a girl.

Making my way downstairs, taking two steps at a time, the scent of dinner was already wafting my way. My mother was a stay at home mom, so she had spent a lot of time perfecting her cooking and I had to admit, she was quite good at it. This smelled delicious, as usual and the water was already running into my mouth. It was of course also already late enough for me to be hungry again, so maybe I was a little biased.

Pushing open the swinging door to the dining room I noticed my father already sitting at the table, reading a newspaper. Trying to make as little sound as possible I practically tiptoed towards my usual seat and picked the chair up to push it backwards instead of scraping it over the hardwood floor. He would only get annoyed if someone interrupted his reading time by making too much noise. Sasuke had been yelled at a few times already, because he always seemed to forget. Sometimes I wondered if he really was that bright, but he did get really good grades. And I of course had also left the house in the afternoon, something that wouldn't have pleased him, so I needed to be on my best behaviour for the rest of the evening. In front of him at least. Let's not even think about me meeting with Deidara. He would have my head.

The swinging door was pushed open again and Sasuke came shuffling in, feet barely picked up from the floor. He was more sliding forward on his socks than walking. He flopped down beside me and my father grumbled softly under his breath, a sign we were making too much noise already. Now all we had to do was wait for my mother, who would bring the food and we couldn't say anything in the meantime. The tension was killing and I prayed that this would not be the quiet before the storm.

Before the silence got to us completely, mother finally came rushing in with a big pan filled with delicious smelling food, only to leave again and come back with another pan. As mother started plating our food, scooping rice and curry sauce onto our plates, father placed down his newspaper next to him and stared at my mother. He was examining her every move and it started to make things rather uncomfortable. Of course mother simply continued, used to this kind of behaviour. Sasuke and I simply kept our gazes down, waiting for the permission to start eating already. Giving all the plates another look and wiping off a smudge from Sasuke's plate, mother sat down on the opposite side and nodded, giving us the signal it was time to eat.

'Bon appétit,' she said happily, smile on her lips as she grabbed her utensils and stared down at her plate. We all mumbled something similar and simply dug in.

After dinner was finished, everyone stayed seated, because we couldn't leave the table unless father left and he had not budged. Mother had brought the dishes back to the kitchen, but had come right back and sat back down, expectantly looking at father. It was one of those days again. No matter how busy father was, if he had planned a family meeting type of thing, it was happening. It wasn't even that interesting. More father faking he was actually interested in the things that happened in our life while actually finding out if we were working hard enough. We always did well when we could mention we had gotten a high grade or were praised somewhere. If we did not have such information, then he would have this disappointed look on his face and you knew you had to step it up, somewhere.

Funny enough it was Sasuke that cleared his throat and then spewed out some words. He was taking a big risk actually by speaking first. 'Before we start this, I wanted to ask if Sakura could come over tonight.' Keeping his head lowered and his gaze now on his father, he was pleading with his eyes that the man would say yes. Chances were very slim though.

It was mother who replied first though, setting the first front and acting as if she was the one in charge. We all knew better. 'Don't you have school tomorrow?' was her first comeback.

Of course Sasuke came prepared. He knew how this worked. Negotiate negotiate. It was actually something our father found pleasing. It showed that you could handle the real world or at least in his eyes it was what it meant. 'One of our teachers has a meeting and it means my first two classes are cancelled, so I start at eleven,' he replied evenly, eyes still on his father. The man just needed to give the okay and it was all good.

Father gave an approving nod and a smile tugged at his lips, but disappeared soon after. 'If you have finished your homework, she may stop by. She has to leave at half passed ten and if you are still awake after eleven, it won't happen again on a week day,' and with that the subject was closed. I must say Sasuke had gotten lucky here. It was even half an hour later than usual, but it was already late, so now he actually could spend some time with this Sakura girl.

'I finished all my homework before dinner, so I'll go tell her she should be here at nine. Thanks, father.' He stood up, scooting the chair away. 'Mother, Itachi,' he turned to us with a nod and then practically ran to the door. He was definitely pressing his luck now, but he had also escaped the rest of this conversation. Lucky bastard…

Father blinked at the door for a moment and then shook his head. 'I guess he was dismissed.' And then his eyes moved my way, giving me a stern look. Now it was my turn and unfortunately I wouldn't be backed up by Sasuke now. This really was not how I wanted to end my evening. 'So Itachi, have been working on your paper all day?'

A simple question, mostly to check if I had been working on it and of course also to show he knew I had left the house before. I steadily met his gaze, but just like Sasuke kept my chin low. I needed to seem submissive. 'I just finished the draft, so I'm going to give it a rest for today and reread it tomorrow for mistakes and revise it where needed.' That should at least make him somewhat happy, right?

Cocking his head to the side father stared at me, pursing his lips a little. 'You've managed to do that even with leaving for a few hours in the afternoon?' It seemed like a praise, but I knew it wasn't. He implied that if I hadn't left, I could've started with the revising already and then tomorrow do it for the second time. It didn't even need to be finished already. I had an entire week still, but of course I had to finish it early.

Now I just needed a way to defend myself. Show my father that it was okay I had taken a break. Or maybe I could mask it like it wasn't really a break, but actually research. That was a better way to go about it, even if it was perhaps lying. 'I had a reason to go out. Yes, I also grabbed some food, but I did some research in the meantime. Looked at the customers the store had, so I could see if it fitted the target group too.' Such a lie, but it kind of went hand in hand with what my paper was actually about.

'I see,' father mused, folding his hands together and resting his head on them. 'But research should've been done a lot sooner, so you started too late on that.' Of course that was something I hadn't thought of, but at least he was buying my lie. He trusted his son.

I nodded in agreement, humbly looking down at the table as if I was feeling ashamed for my actions. 'You are right, father. Next time I'll start earlier, so I don't have to leave my paper to do more research.' Better to agree with him than fight him on the matter. He would never see that forcing his children to work this hard was unhealthy anyway. He compares us to himself and thinks we should work just hard. For him it's a choice though. He takes his work home. That is not our fault.

'Good,' was his reply, eyes moving away from me, his hands moving towards the paper he had not finished yet. 'Make sure you pass this course, Itachi,' he then started again, half reading the paper already and acting like he wasn't interested anymore. 'There is a lot riding on this.' Utter bullshit, but this was his way of telling me I would be in trouble if I got anything lower than a ninety percent. Yes, I didn't actually have to get a perfect score, but lower than that meant something bad.

This was not something I had to respond to or actually I wasn't allowed to respond. Mother was giving me an apologetic look, but she would never open her mouth and tell my father off. She was scared and I couldn't blame her. I knew he hit her first. Sasuke and I only got hit when we weren't behaving right or weren't doing as well in school as we should, but mother had it tougher. Whenever father was angry, no matter at what, she would take the fall for it.

Hesitating for a moment I stayed seated, eyes moving from the newspaper to my mother and then the doorbell rang. Quickly I jumped up and slid out the door, needing to get away from that sick man as soon as possible. I at least had an excuse, because someone had to open the door, right? Yanking open the front door I stood there staring possibly with wide eyes at a girl with pink hair. It was indeed the pink haired one this week. She looked a little frightened and I realised just in time it was my fault. Shaking my head I put on my usual expressionless face.

'He's upstairs,' I told the girl, stepping out of the way and letting her through. She quickly slipped passed me and went up the stairs, already knowing her way around. Suspicious. Not something I would dwell on right now. She might talk about me to my brother, how strange I had looked and perhaps even calling me rude. He would defend me though, because Sasuke was a good brother and he knew what that face meant. He knew me better than anyone else. Also the only one who knew I was into guys, except for the few flings I've had and Deidara of course. I didn't really have friends to share it with. My father said it was a waste to have friends and they only got in the way. Maybe that's why both Sasuke and I sleep around the way we do. Never allowing anyone to get closer.

After the girl had disappeared into Sasuke's room I moved up the stairs too. When I got upstairs I could hear her rambling about something and I already pitied Sasuke. He did pick some strange girls, but I guess it was only about getting laid. Didn't matter what the girls were like, as long as they were hot. He lost his virginity when he was about fourteen, which seemed very young to me and he called me a prude for that. I was hardly a prude, but alright. Now that he was sixteen I didn't even want to know how many girls he has had up in that room already. I was seventeen when I lost my virginity, but didn't start fucking around until I was about twenty and I did it to release some stress. I really have no idea what Sasuke's reason was for this behaviour.

Sitting back down in my desk chair I glanced at the paper I had just finished and let out a sigh. I really didn't feel like going over this again tomorrow. For now it was enough though. I had worked my ass off today. Grabbing my cell phone from my desk I unlocked it and saw I had one new message. It immediately brought a smile to my face.

_Hey, I just wanted to say I had a great time today. When can we see each other again? Xx Dei_


	5. Dates, how do they work?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a nice chat with his little brother about his date, Itachi actually goes on his second date with Deidara.

After that first text was sent the rest of the week went by in a flash, filled with messages going back and forth, talking about subjects that were hardly worth mentioning and it still it were one of the best conversations I've ever had. And Deidara must've felt the same since he kept texting back with as much enthusiasm as me. Thankfully Deidara understood I couldn't see him before the week ended, college work being too important to skip. Saturday would be our date, even if I didn't really call it that in my mind. We were just two friends meeting each other. Then I wouldn't slip up if my father or mother were to ask.

My paper was now finished and handed in. Now I only had to focus on my exams and I could worry about that tomorrow. Summaries were written and I only needed to go through my last notes to be ready for Monday, so I had deserved this moment off, even if father would not agree.

Standing in the middle of the room, in front of the mirror that also functioned as a closet door, I was checking out the latest outfit I was trying on. I wanted to look good. For him. I wanted to make a good impression, wanted to be something you could show off, how shallow that may sound. But I wanted Deidara to be proud of walking next to me and not because I was Itachi Uchiha, but because I actually looked good. Especially with the last outfit Deidara had seen me in. Now it was time to make up for that.

Hands stuffed inside his jeans pockets Sasuke strolled into my room and flopped down on my bad adjacent to my closet. His dark eyes moved over my figure, slowly raising an eyebrow. 'What are you fussing about?' he asked, bored tone obvious in his voice.

Meeting his gaze in the mirror I shot him an equally bored look back and then turned back to deciding if I should leave an extra button unbuttoned or if I should not show anything of my chest. The dark blue colour looked good on me, though I wasn't sure if the dress shirt made me overdressed. I had decided to put it over a black pair of jeans, but even they could be mistaken for something too proper.

'I actually have a date,' I mumbled, deciding showing a little skin didn't hurt anyone.

'At least that makes one of us.' To emphasize his pain Sasuke dropped himself down on my bed, bouncing slightly under the sudden impact. A heavy sigh then left his lips, definitely feeling very sorry for himself at this point.

It was always best to treat these situations delicately. Sasuke's ego came into play now and we did not want him to get angry at me right now. I had other things to worry about. 'I guess this means you're single again?' I asked casually, letting my fingers slide through my hair. Pretending to tame it was at least something, because my hair really was as straight as it could come. Ending it with a loose ponytail I let my bangs frame my face.

Slowly turning towards him I could see Sasuke had already propped his hands under his head, taking on a rather relaxed posture. That is how much the guy truly cared about breaking up with that girl. 'Yeah, she accused me of only dating her for one thing,' he said with a roll of the eye. 'Well, duh. Not much else I actually am interested in that she has to offer.' Such a little bastard he is…

Letting out a soft chuckle I turned around, deciding it was better to check my outfit than focus on this conversation. Not like I had much time left anyway. 'You truly are a slut, Sasuke,' I commented, shaking my head at my own reflection.

'Well, I learned from the best,' Sasuke instantly retorted, turning on his stomach to face me better. 'So boy or girl?' he then added with mild curiosity, head lazily leaning on an arm as he gazed with me at my reflection.

This was so much easier. Someone who was aware of my sexuality and would simply ask what gender my date actually was. I was already very grateful Sasuke wasn't questioning if it was a good idea to actually go on a date. He didn't care. If this was what I wanted, he would support me. Regardless of what my father might think. 'It's a he.' A very beautiful he.

Shifting a little in his place Sasuke's eyes moved down to the floor, falling silent for a minute. 'So what's his name?' he eventually asked, almost shyly looking up at me. Even if he did not judge me for whom I dated, he still did find it odd I was okay with dating a man and having sex with a man. I didn't know what exactly he thought about it, but I did wonder sometimes.

'Deidara,' I breathed out, still liking how easily the name slipped off my lips. It felt nice saying it out loud. Moving over to my desk I made sure I had everything I needed. Wallet, keys. Sprayed some cologne onto my wrists and then rubbed them together, then to give my neck just a little bit of scent I rubbed them over the skin there and was satisfied. 'I met him at the club last weekend,' I added as some extra information Sasuke hadn't even asked for.

Changing positions again Sasuke sat up and crossed his legs, wearing this weird smile on his lips and I realised too late it was matching mine. 'What does he look like?' The interest was back at the right moment.

How to describe Deidara? Biting my lip I tried to figure it out, but his beauty was something I couldn't quite capture. It was something that had caught my eye instantly and I wasn't sure if it had only to do with his appearance or with this inner glow that was ready to burst out. There was just something special about him. But that was not what Sasuke had asked for nor what he was interested in. Giving him the easy explanation would be better. It wasn't like Sasuke understood this feeling. Hell, I hardly got it. This was very new to me and still quite frightening. 'He has long blond hair with some blond bangs covering half of his face and it's partially pulled up in a ponytail or at least that's what I have seen. I did always like blonds,' I muttered at the end absentmindedly and Sasuke nodded in agreement. It was a trait we both shared. Perhaps because the Uchiha family mostly existed of dark haired people and we just wanted something new and refreshing. 'He's a little shorter than I am and a tat skinny, but that looks right. Skin a little tan and preferred clothing style is dark. Makes his blond hair and blue eyes pop I guess.' Nibbling on my lip a little longer to figure out what else I could tell, I remembered the most important part and could slap myself. 'Oh and he has a lip piercing. This little ring through the right corner of his bottom lip. There is something really appealing to that.'

Dark eyes were staring at my face intensely and I felt the need to squirm under it, but I knew better. The famous Uchiha gaze. I should be unfazed, but that wasn't as easy. Still I managed to keep my cool and simply busy myself with what was inside my wallet. 'Did you kiss him yet?' he suddenly asked and with the added piercing stare I felt my own eyes snap up and widen slightly. It was all the hint Sasuke needed and this big grin formed on his lips, knowing he had some juicy information. 'That is a definite yes. So what's it like kissing with someone who has a piercing?' he asked curiously, innocently cocking his head to the side as if he was still a little child.

Better to give in now. Taking the one step to my bed I sank down beside Sasuke who eagerly stared up at me, and I thought back on the kiss. How his soft lips had first hardly pressed back, shocked by what just happened and then how fervently he had continued it when he knew it was alright. The lip ring was really just something fun added to it. 'You hardly feel it when your lips are actually touching, but between kisses you can nibble on it a little and pull it a bit when you feel like teasing. It ensues funny responses.'

Again with the silence and the stare. Was I really that interesting at this point? 'You really like this guy, don't you?' he asked out of the blue, half a smile on his lips.

My mind went straight back to Deidara as I averted my eyes from Sasuke, studying my hands. 'Yeah, I guess I do,' I mumbled in reply, knowing very well that I do and it was this scary thing I rather not think about too much. I preferred letting it happen at this point.

'That's a first,' Sasuke said with a snort, sweet half smile now turning in a smirk.

Rolling my eyes at his response I wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him close to my chest, using my free hand to ruffle up his hair and make him look like a complete mess. Too bad he's single now. Otherwise this really would've been a good move. As his pleas for me to stop grew and his voice got louder and louder, I released him in fear of getting some unwanted attention from the people downstairs and replied to his comment. 'Well, there is a first for everything. Maybe even you will stop being a slut one day.'

Throwing some curse words at my head Sasuke tried to defend his slut ways, but he wasn't fooling anyone. Standing up from the bed he let me know this conversation was over, which was fine. 'You just get ready for this date of yours. I'll talk to you afterwards about it and I expect the juicy details.' And with that he turned towards the door and left without another word, strolling towards his own room with his hands again stuffed into his pockets.

Now that my brother was gone I could actually say I was ready for my date. Fully dressed and with everything I needed there really was no turning back. Butterflies fluttered through my stomach the moment I realised that and I had to take a deep collecting breath to actually settle them down. Never have I been this nervous for a date. The dates I had been on before were usually with girls father tried to set me up with and they always turned out to be more of the fan girl type than actually interested in a real future with me. When they interested me long enough with their beauty I would sleep with them and then never give them the time of day the next morning. It was easier that way and thankfully father actually never questioned my motives not to see them anymore. I final they were out for the company money was enough of an explanation.

Now this would kind of be the second date we were going on, sort of, and I had yet to sleep with him. I don't think I've ever been on a second date, so this was extraordinary in many ways. Breaking a tradition of mine and I didn't mind one bit. Though what would be the right time to have sex for the first time when you were dating? Was there some kind of rule for this? Was it the third date? Tenth date? Twentieth? I couldn't wait that long. That would take months. Was there someone I could ask about this? I could already assume Deidara was a virgin, considering he wasn't "into" men before he started seeing me, so that would definitely mean I had to take things slow. Dating was really hard and confusing.

With this on my mind I walked down the stairs and absently grabbed my jacket from the coat hanger and then I was out the door. Still without paying much attention I found my car and drove off the driveway without saying goodbye to anyone or giving any explanation to where I was going. Now I at least had time till I came back to figure out what kind of excuse I was going to use.

It had been Deidara who had decided what we were going to do on this date and to make it easy for the both of us, we were going to the movies. There was this new horror movie that he wanted to see and who was I to reject that idea? I hadn't been there in a while anyway, so it should definitely be fun.

Since Deidara lived right in the centre of the city he walked to the theatre himself, so all I had to do was get there as well and we would meet up right in front of the building. The ride was short and the parking lot next to the theatre was rather empty still, so I parked close to the building and got out. A familiar blond male was already there, leaning back against the wall and seeming very relaxed, though his hands kept on fidgeting inside the pockets of his leather jacket. His head was nodding along to some music he was playing on his mp3, headphones on his ears to keep out any other noise.

He hadn't noticed me yet, so I took the opportunity and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek to greet him and immediately startled wide blue eyes glanced my way. A fist was taken out of a pocket and it was raised to smack me in the face, until he realised who had done it. 'Oh, it's you,' he then said casually, instantly relaxing against the wall again and turning off the music on his mp3-player. 'For a second there I thought you were some kind of creep.'

'Let's not be hasty. I am a bit of a creep,' I instantly retorted and then winked at him. 'But you will find out about that later,' I added teasingly and easily a smirk slipped onto my lips. Why did it feel so right to flirt like this with him and not act as if I was the most glorious person out there?

A soft chuckle slipped from his lips as he pulled down the headphones, blue eyes gazing up at me for just a split second too long and then with a final nod he turned away from me to move towards the box office. 'Let's get our tickets. I want to have good seats for this movie.' And of course I immediately followed after him, slipping a hand around his waist as he rambled on about how great the movie was they were going to see. I ignored the slight blush that had settled on Deidara's cheeks, far too happy I was allowed to keep him close like this.

Paying for the tickets Deidara didn't allow me to also pay for the foods, so before I knew it he had bought us enough to last a life time. I felt a bit bad, because I knew Deidara didn't have a lot of money and had to pay for his own living arrangements, but I wouldn't comment. This was all about ego and I understood. Deidara didn't want to be "the girl" in this.

The theatre was almost completely empty except for a group of guys sitting somewhere on the front rows and here and there some couples spread out to get some privacy. Horror movies did have something to live up to, so some kissing would happen with some of these couples. For us this meant that there was still enough place to choose from, so we sat down somewhere in the middle, picking a row that was still completely empty and still gave us a good view of the screen. We were happy.

The small talk we filled the silence with before the movie began was mostly about the movie. Deidara had googled a lot about it and already informed me about the sequel coming out next year, so if this one was going to be good, we were definitely going to see that one. Right before I could respond the lights went out to signal the movie was about to start and that I should now stop talking, but it did make my heart flutter a little. In a year we would still be seeing each other, huh?

When the trailers for the new movies were over and the sponsors for the actual movie showed their little clips to advertise themselves, Deidara moved the armrest between us up and then leaned his head against my shoulder, getting comfortable right beside me. Hesitating only for a moment I then raised my arm and wrapped it around his frame, pulling him as close as I could and since I didn't get any response, I figured it was alright. Deidara simply continued happily eating the popcorn that was sitting on my lap, stuffing his face before the movie had even begun.

Instantly as the movie began, our attention was pulled that way and we didn't talk the entire film. Occasionally you would hear us take sharp breath intakes or curse under our breaths when something scary happened. One time Deidara even let out a scream when it all got a little too much, but by the end he was grinning like a madman as the credits were rolling, seriously happy about how it had all turned out.

Turning towards me with this enthusiastic glint in his eyes Deidara started rambling. 'Usually I go for the gore type of horror movies, but this, this was awesome. It was fucking scary and I so want to see the next part. Like how they filmed everything and then actually create a shock effect instead of going for the obvious scare options. Man, I'm very pleased,' he ended his speech and then let out a sigh before getting up.

I followed suit and just smirked lightly down at him before sliding a thumb over his cheek in a gesture of endearment. I would not use the word cute for Deidara, but this sweet passion he had used for something as silly as a film genre was… amazing. I could listen to his rambles any day if he would keep talking so passionate.

As we got out of the movie theatre we stopped moving for a moment, both unsure what to do now. I really did not know what followed now. Should we just both go home and wish each other a goodnight? I could drive Deidara home though. That would be polite.

My musings were ended though when Deidara spoke up, hands stuffed inside the pockets of his jacket again and this slight smile on his lips. 'Hey, uh, I'm kind of home alone now, which I always am of course, but, uh. Would you like to come over and hang for a little longer? No need to end the date just yet, right?'

'Uh,' was my smart responds.

Deidara raised an eyebrow and then chuckled softly as he realised where my mind had just gone off to. 'I'm not inviting you in to have sex with me. Just saying we could hang out and talk a little. You can stay over of course, but no sex,' he added for good measure, finger raised at me.

Still a little confused I simply nodded and then he happily led me towards my own car, finding it still parked where I had left it, obviously and then as I unlocked it, he easily slipped into the passenger's seat and relaxed.

I still wasn't sure what was going to happen now and as Deidara directed me the way towards his apartment, my nerves grew more and more.


	6. Another first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get to Deidara's apartment and after the shortest tour ever, the night takes a different turn.

Finding a parking space in this neighbourhood wasn't too difficult. Most wouldn't dare park their cars here and I wasn't sure if I was exactly comfortable with leaving my precious little car behind. But simply dropping Deidara off after being invited up wasn't a smart idea as well. Not to mention that I really wanted to see the place he lived in. What would it be like?

The outside of the building looked rather old and a little worn out. Bits of cement were crumbling from the building, leaving bricks open to the environment and it didn't seem too happy about it. If the landlord had taken better care of the apartments, it would be in a far better state now. In my opinion you could better just put a whole new building here and start from scratch, but that must be too expensive as well. And there were still people that were willing to live here anyway, like Deidara.

The front door to enter the building didn't even need a key anymore since Deidara simply pushed it open and then aimed for the stairs, because the elevators were not working. There weren't even any doors in front of them anymore and someone had stalled their bicycle inside one of them. The stairs were in the same condition as the whole building itself, stained with things I rather not know what they ones were. There was also litter everywhere and the higher up I got, the more I realised my car was saver outside than it would've been here inside. I would leave my valuables inside any of these apartments. Some had big cracks above their front doors. Very easy to break into.

Perhaps I was just spoiled though. There was no reason for me to live in places like these since I would have the money to do otherwise.

Reaching the fourth floor Deidara finally left the stairwell and aimed for a door that had been repainted recently and didn't look as bad as some of the others. I also now noticed that this floor was a lot less noisy. No screaming kids or arguing couples. Not to mention couples that were doing other things that should be kept more private.

Thrusting in the key Deidara had to lean a little against the door to be able to unlock it, showing this one had a better lock than the rest. And then he grabbed another key to put it in a keyhole somewhere higher up. I was very impressed by how well Deidara had taken care of this place and I wasn't even inside yet. After finishing unlocking the door, Deidara swung it open and stepped to the side. 'Welcome to my humble place.' First he wore a big smile on his lips, but that disappeared quite fast as he glanced around the room. 'Sorry for the mess.'

The place was rather small. Right beside the door to the right was the kitchen area, which was separated from the rest of the room by a small bar area which functioned as the working top. After that was a door that probably led towards the bathroom. And then came the rest. The living area and the bedroom area. The bed was placed against the left side of the wall while the small couch was placed against the right side. The wallpaper was an off yellow colour with dark green flowers all over it and then the floor was covered in the same dark green colour carpet. It looked rather awful, but Deidara made it homey still. Especially with his junk lying around the place as well.

'I like it,' I responded softly, walking in while still looking around. Every corner of the room showed something new and exciting. It wasn't minimalistic, but Deidara actually stuffed it with all these little things that made the place crowded, but also so inviting.

A blond eyebrow was raised and Deidara gave me a look as if I had gone crazy. 'Really?' he shot back.

Turning back towards him I raised an eyebrow right back, challenging his judgement on my taste on things. I could like things like these. It was him who had decorated it in the first place. 'It looks very alive and reminds me of you somehow. Though that wallpaper doesn't really seem like your style.'

'Oh, no. I would rather die. I just don't have the money to buy something else.' He eyed the place then as well and frowned. He really did not like the look of it. Stared angrily at a stain on the green carpet he probably had tried to get out with any cleaning appliance he could think of. 'And I am not sure if this really represents me. I actually hope it doesn't, because I would love to decorate it differently. I try, but buying crap to cover up other crap isn't a very good strategy. It's small, but it's big enough for me.'

Moving in a little further I noticed the laptop sitting on a small side table and that was about what Deidara owned on electronica. 'Well, give me a grand tour of this place,' I murmured, stopping with trying to find new things and leaving it to Deidara now.

Folding his arms together Deidara shot me a pointed look and then shook his head. 'This is pretty much everything, so if you want a tour of the bathroom, I think I can't show you anything new.' Which made sense, but made me chuckle anyways.

'Thank you for this amazing tour, Dei,' I commented right back, unable to keep the smile from my lips.

'Oh, we're doing nicknames now?' Deidara responded with a big smile and now both eyebrows rose. Then he narrowed his eyes slightly as he stared at my face, nibbling on his lip as he tried to come up with a nickname for me too. 'Alright I'll call you… You're name isn't really helping.'

Shrugging my shoulders I came up with my own idea of what could be a nickname. I never really had nicknames since I never had friends who could give me nicknames. There was only one person that had a nickname for me and that was a long time ago. 'Sasuke called me Ita when he was little. He had a hard time with the chi-part of my name and got mad when it didn't sound right. He would throw a tantrum every time it sounded like shi. Toys would be thrown across the room and my mother would then immediately start cleaning it up. My father even tried to train him into saying it properly, but it took him years to pronounce it right.'

The story made two eyebrows shoot up and a smile form on Deidara's lips. 'Ita it is then. I also really want to meet your little brother now and see if he has a speak impediment or something.' He grinned cheekily until his eyes landed on the bed. 'You know, I'm really afraid of getting into my own bed right now.' He said fearfully, though it was obviously fake. Deidara wasn't easily scared, but it was still fun to play along.

'What would make it less scary?' I asked, putting an arm around him protectively as if something scary could crawl from under the bed any time now.

Nibbling on his lip and giving the bed another scared look, he duck his head under my arm and hid his face in my shirt. Then a finger moved up and pointed at the bed. 'You get in there first and see if it's safe.'

So we were heading into that direction now. Was it a smart idea to get into that bed now and see what would happen after that? The idea was very tempting and who was I really kidding? As if I could resist when something this delicious was offered. 'Alright, but don't leave me alone in bed after that,' I said lowly and then stepped away from the warmth of his body. Pulling off my shirt as I walked towards the bed, I glanced back to see Deidara giving me this blank stare. I wasn't sure what he was thinking, but I doubted now if taking off my shirt had been a good idea.

Pulling up the sheets I crawled under them and made myself comfortable on the bed before shooting Deidara another look. 'Is it safe?' he asked, but the fear had disappeared from his voice. Now it was just a monotone, void from any emotion, be it fake or real.

Using the same tone as he had, I answered him. 'I believe we are completely alone and nothing will come out to attack us any time soon, but I can't promise you are completely safe.' It was a little cheeky and the raise of the eyebrows probably hadn't been necessary, but I still got a smile back and an eye roll. That too.

After taking in a deep breath Deidara also pulled off his own shirt and then without giving it much thought he also took off his pants. Something I hadn't done yet, but I had to admit that this was looking out to be a great evening. He really had a beautiful body. A little frail, but still strong as he held himself with pride, taking a few steps towards the bed. His hips were narrow and the little hairs all over his body were as blond as the hair on his head. There was a small tattoo of a dove on his shoulder and then something that probably shouldn't have surprised me, a nipple piercing on the left side. Even if some of his features screamed feminine, there were so many things that gave him this edge. This though guy appearance.

Flopping the sheets to the side he partially uncovered me too and then easily slid in between them. His movements were not as fluent as they had been before as soon as he hit the bed. Nerves started setting in then. This was new to him and I was already impressed by how well he held himself. Doing this all for the first time should be scary.

After a second hesitation Deidara scooted closer and allowed me to wrap my arms around him and keep him close. The bed was a little too small for two people, but when laying this close together it was actually quite manageable. And as if I minded having Deidara this close to me right now? Not something I would trade for my own cold bed.

'Still scared?' I whispered in his ear, smirk playing around my lips.

He gave a small laugh, trying to shake his head, but my form kept him from doing so. 'No, I have a big strong man close by,' he replied, giving me a side prick with his fingers.

'Really and where is this big strong man?' I gave him a kiss behind his ear where I found another tattoo. This one of a small bomb, the fuse lit.

'He should be coming home soon, so maybe it's time you go,' he replied, contradicting himself by putting his arms around my neck and pulling me closer, effectively capturing me in his hold. He was sounding a little breathless, my kisses running further down his neck.

Carefully I turned him on his back and moved on top of him halfway, making sure my full weight wasn't on top of him yet. My lips moved to the front of his neck, sucking on a little spot right below his Adam's apple. 'Are you sure you want me to leave?' I practically purred to him and then I felt this weird tug at my hair.

'Ita.' That didn't sound good. Slowly I rose up and looked at a shy looking Dei. It was a very odd look on him, but with the way he was worrying his lip, he was serious this time. 'I don't want to have sex with you tonight.' An almost guilt ridden look then crossed his face as he looked away from me, apparently feeling very awful about this whole situation. But I should've known, shouldn't I? I had thought about it before and it wasn't strange I was stopped now. And if there was one thing I didn't do, it was forcing my way through.

'Okay,' I replied, unsure of what else to say. Social situations still weren't my strongest point, especially when they got this awkward. The mood had kind of disappeared and how to get passed this, I don't know. Carefully I got off of him completely and laid down beside him again, letting only my arm touch his. Hopefully that was still alright.

'I'm sorry if I insulted you,' he whispered, grabbing my hand and making sure I wasn't going anywhere. If I really was only after sex, this would've been my sign to leave. But I wasn't doing that. I wanted to stay and that idea made me a little queasy. I never had been interested in something more. 'Maybe we can do something else?' he then offered and that at least lifted my mood a little. We could do other things. Sex wasn't the main thing of this. There was another thing I would happily do.

Turning back towards Deidara I slid a finger over his cheek and then without even replying to his something else, I kissed him. Letting my lips move over his slowly, coaxing him into responding and Deidara automatically did. Sucking in deep breaths as we pushed against each other passionately and then I let my tongue slip between his lips, his tongue doing the same with me. We played around, our hands stroking the other's arms and chest and face. It was soft and sweet.

Pulling a little on his lip ring I earned a soft groan, Deidara moving along with me. Scooting more on top of Deidara I soon felt something pressed against my hip. At least he wasn't that nervous about me taking advantage of the situation, but I couldn't just let this one slide, now could I? As I kept on kissing him I let my hand trail down his stomach and then tease the skin right under the waistband of his boxers.

Immediately the kiss was broken and with wide blue eyes he stared at me, as some kind of warning and I didn't doubt that Deidara would hit me square in the face if he needed to. But I met his stare and moved my hand deeper into Deidara's boxers. 'No sex,' he immediately shot at me, a hand placed against my chest as another warning.

'No sex,' I affirmed and he instantly seemed to relax. Something causing that could also be due to my hand being wrapped around his length, slowly stroking him. A shudder ran down Deidara's spine as he arched into my touch and I took this as a sign to continue.

Sliding my thumb over the head of his dick I pulled a groan from him, eyes slipping closed as he leaned his head back into the pillow. My lips started kissing and sucking at the soft and sensitive skin of his neck once more, leaving a few marks here and there maybe by accident and maybe not. My hand started moving up and down faster after that, trying to set an even pace to pleasure him earnestly. His breathing became uneven the faster I moved my hand and when I squeezed a nice groan would bubble up from Deidara's reddened lips.

Of course this was affecting me badly as well. The sounds coming from Deidara's lips mixed with the sounds coming from my slick hand were delicious. The air around me was thick with the smell of sex and we weren't even having it. With my erection pressed against his thigh I moved it back and forward a little, trying to give myself enough friction to feel half as nice as Deidara was feeling right now.

And then the groans increased in volume, Deidara thrusting along with every movement my hand made. There wasn't another sign that it was coming, but then Deidara's orgasm slipped all over my hand and Deidara's abdomen. I gave his erection a few last strokes until he relaxed back against the bed and his breathing had evened out again.

'I've never done that with another man before either,' Deidara suddenly said breathlessly, arms flat out beside him and arms spread a little.

Wiping my hand on the mattress I got off all the cum and then I hovered over Deidara, giving him a soft peck on the lips. 'Was it that bad?' I asked, giving him another kiss right after.

That earned me a smack against the head and a soft chuckle. 'Yeah, it was awful,' he replied sarcastically. The smile then slipped from his face again as he stared up into my eyes. His hip moved a little against my still hard length. 'Do I need to return the favour now?' he asked rather shyly and very unsure.

Lying my full weight down on him now I let out a sigh, placing my head next to Deidara on the pillow. 'You should feel comfortable enough first, so just get used to the idea. I'll wait until you're ready for it and in the mean time I'll keep pleasuring you.' I let my thumb slide over his cheek and shot him a soft smile, hoping to assure him enough that it was all fine. If Deidara would go on and return the favour now, it wouldn't go as planned and only turn into a very awkward situation.

Our conversation died down as our breathing evened out, signalling it was time to sleep. I closed my eyes and was ready to just let go, even if I was still lying on top of Deidara. He would complain if I got too heavy.

And then the silence was suddenly broken. 'So are we a couple now?'

I opened my eyes and stared right into those bright blue ones, this unreadable expression back on his face. 'If you want us to be,' I replied.

For a moment Deidara moved his eyes down and then quickly met my gaze again, this sure look in his eyes now. 'I want us to be a couple.'

And that was how I got my first boyfriend.


	7. The morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up next to each other is rather nice and even though Itachi should be leaving, he sticks around and learns more about Deidara.

The following day came too early, light filtering through the thin curtains, waking me up instantly. Not that it was a bad way to wake up, because there was a certain blond all cuddled up in my arms. Savoring the moment for a little longer I pressed my nose into his long blond locks and breathed in deeply. Deidara smelled of sleep. Mumbling something about being hot Deidara rolled out of my arms and slept on a few inches away from me. His bed was still incredibly tiny.

Now that I was released and awake, I figured it was alright to use the bathroom, considering I really needed to pee badly. And I should also be going home soon. It's still early, but that was the point. Father didn't mind it if I was gone for the night, as long as I was back before breakfast and would study the rest of the day. Better not risk his wrath.

Slowly I slid out of the bed and tiptoed my way to the bathroom. The door creaked slightly, but Deidara didn't even more, so I stepped onto the cold tiles and closed the door. There were some mold stains in the shower stall and the toilet bowl had gotten a little brown, but I must admit it could've been worse. Deidara must clean this place often enough to keep it livable. I don't believe the other apartments would look like this. I wonder what the place looked like when he moved in. If it had actually improved or not.

Pulling down my boxers I finally relieved myself, letting out a soft sigh. The first pee in the morning was always the best. After washing my hands I tiptoed right back to the bed, seeing Deidara had shifted in position a bit again and was now lying on his back. His eyes were closed, but I assumed he was up now. Carefully I slid back and indeed he shuffled to the side a bit to make more room for me.

'Morning,' he muttered, stretching his arms above his head, showing of his lithe torso to me.

Reaching over I wrapped an arm around his waist and gave him a kiss on his shoulder as I snuggled closer to him once more. 'Good morning, Dei,' I responded softly.

For a second he let me hold him, but then it seemed he had enough sleep, pushing the arm off his body and sitting up in the bed. With blurry eyes he looked around the room and then blew out his breath. 'What time is it? I feel like I slept for so long.' Rubbing his eyes he tried to will the drowsiness away and then shook his head, his blond hair flailing around.

I could only give him an estimated guess since I didn't wear a watch and my phone was somewhere in my jeans, so I hadn't checked yet. The sun was still low in the sky though. 'I think it's around eight a.m.,' I replied, following him into a sitting position, though I was feeling far more awake than he did.

'Oh, that's actually still really early,' he muttered, flopping back down on the bed and pulling the sheets up high till they reached his chin. 'So I think some more sleep should be fine.' And then he closed his eyes, signaling we were not getting out of bed just yet. I wasn't sure if I could actually get back to sleep, but I laid down next to him anyway, studying his features from the side. He had a really small nose and it dipped up slightly.

'Dei, can I ask you something?' Because I would not lay here bored for another half an hour, because he wanted to sleep a little longer. And I was curious about something. This had all gone a little fast or very fast to be exact. I didn't really know how the dating scene worked, but I was fairly sure people wouldn't spend the night after the first date. Some would of course, but most wouldn't. Especially if you're not that sure about your sexuality, right?

'Hn,' was his very intelligent sounding response which I just took as a "what the hell do you want?"

'Remember the day we met you said you weren't sure you were gay or not, but you wanted to see if you were with me. So what is your answer to that now?' I smirked a little, feeling rather confident about the answer, because with what we had done last night it was pretty obvious in my opinion. Still he could just fool me. The raise of an eyebrow, even if his eyes were closed said he found the question a little ridiculous.

With a sigh he turned on his side to face me, getting ready for some serious talk. I wasn't even aware that my question had been that serious. 'Well, if I weren't into guys, I think I would've blown you off the first time you kissed me, don't you think?' he answered with a smirk and then I knew he wasn't that serious as I first had thought. 'But maybe I am bi, like you. I mean I find girls attractive too.' He then creeped a little closer to me, wrapping an arm around my neck, following through with a soft kiss on my lips. 'Right now though,' he murmured. 'I believe I can be labeled as ita-sexual.'

Of course I responded to the kiss immediately, forcing another into it when Deidara was about to pull back. I got an eye roll for that. Grabbing him by the waist again I turned our bodies until he was lying on top of me and that sweet smile on his lips made my heart race. 'So I am the first to know you are now into men, right? I think it should stay that way, so I can keep you close forever.' Had I really just said that?

'Oh, you would like that, huh?' Deidara teased, meeting my lips in another soft kiss, this one lasting just a little longer than the one before. 'It may be smart though,' he then added, putting on a thoughtful look. 'I mean I really enjoy working at the restaurant and the three owners are really nice, but one of my bosses has been hitting on me ever since I started working there. We don't want you to get any competition of course.'

Such a low blow. I didn't even know Deidara could be such a tease. At least I knew he wasn't serious, but I did feel the flare of jealousy rising up inside my chest. This boss better not be too goodlooking or be really sweet or something. What if he would whisk away Deidara? Even if this dating thing was scary, I didn't want to give up that easily already. 'Do I need to be wary of him?' I still asked, just to be certain. Deidara has known this guy much longer than he has known me, so I could be just a practice ride or something. I didn't think Deidara was like that, but you can never be too sure, right?

'Nah, if I had wanted to see him, then I would've responded to his advances long ago. Just don't want to get his hopes up if I would come out to the brothers.' A light shrug of the shoulders said Deidara was done talking about it as he laid his head down on my shoulder, blowing out a small puff of air. 'He's not really good at flirting anyway. It makes me uncomfortable.'

'I can kick his ass if you need me to,' I responded lightly with a smirk on my lips, smiling into his hair as I pecked it softly. Time was slowly passing by more and more and I knew I would have to leave soon, but this moment together was just amazing. Sharing personal things, even if they were all about Deidara, felt nice. I had never really done anything like this, except with maybe my little brother. Sasuke didn't really count though.

A chuckle bubbled up from Deidara and he tried to shake his head while he still laid down. It didn't work out really well. 'I'm sure you can. He's also really short though, so you would have to aim low.' That was a little mean to say, but hey, I didn't know the guy. No need for me to feel bad about it.

It then fell silent again and the soft breathing of Deidara told me he was falling asleep again. It was nice to be able to hold him like this without thinking of the repercussions. If my father would find out, then I would be in deep trouble. It was something I should remember, should consider when I was holding Deidara like this or sharing kisses with him. But I didn't want to. I wanted this and I wanted it to last. I don't think there is a safe way out though. So for now I would stuff it away and think about it some other time.

Glancing around the apartment it suddenly felt so empty. I had never lived on my own before and would find it odd, even if being alone was nice from time to time. 'Hey, Dei,' I whispered, getting a soft groan in return. 'I wondered why you live on your own. I mean you're still pretty young and I know what happened to your mother, but why don't you live with your father anymore?'

Raising his head Deidara blinked at me a little stupidly until the question finally got through. He really had been about to fall asleep again. Maybe I should feel a little guilty about that, but I didn't. Now we actually had more time together where we were doing something. 'No special reason actually. You know my mom died at childbirth and it isn't the case that my dad hated me after it. Dad just really loved her, but didn't understand how to take care of me when she was gone. He was a bit clueless I guess, so I've been on my own from the very start. We didn't really have a lot in common and it didn't feel like home to me. I wanted to be free and that's when I chose to leave at sixteen. I would not mind seeing my dad again, but I won't go out looking for him. The same goes for him I guess.'

I had anticipated on an abusive relationship or perhaps neglect, and perhaps the latter was the case, but still not as bad as I thought. 'I must say, I really didn't expect that.' I envied him for his story on how he had chosen to leave himself. He hadn't been kicked out or taken away by child services. His home was just not right and he had left.

Unsure on what to say next I simply kissed him again and he lazily joined into it, slipping his tongue inside my mouth and exploring whatever he wanted to. Really the best way to change the subject if I may say so myself. He ended the kiss with a little nip at my bottom lip and then pressed his head down on my shoulder once more.

'Dei, it's really time for me to leave. I hadn't counted on staying over, so I still have a lot of work to do for next week,' I half lied and then he let out an annoyed groan, clearly unsatisfied, but it was also slightly acted. Deidara wasn't really a drama queen, but could play one very well if he wanted to.

With another groan he pushed himself up and rolled off of me and laid back down beside me. 'Alright, alright,' he muttered. 'Give me a call tonight when you can catch a break,' he ordered more than asked, but I didn't mind. I would've at least texted him anyway, probably before it even turned evening. Couldn't stay without contact for too long, even if I was a bit of a phone noob.

'I'll call you after dinner,' I replied as I hoisted myself out of bed and started picking up my clothes. All wrinkled now, but mother would iron everything after washing it anyway. At least this time they wouldn't be too dirty. I have come home a lot worse and she has never said a thing. Possibly too embarrassed by all the stains she discovered on there. Perhaps I should thank her sometime, although I'm not sure if she would actually appreciate the gesture.

Arms now propped under his head Deidara watched me get dressed, blue eyes dark under his long lashes. 'When are we getting together again?' he asked nonchalantly, acting as if he didn't really care, but we both knew better. We both wanted to see each other as soon as possible, but unfortunately that wasn't as easy as we hoped for.

While I was putting on my pants I thought on how my week looked like. It didn't look too great. I had another paper due and my father expected me to be working on it a lot the upcoming week. Then I had to join my father in a meeting on Wednesday… 'Friday night as a day off for me.'

He immediately shook his head. 'Can't do Fridays. I work the evening shift and it's always really busy then. I have Saturday off though, so we can do then?'

'Yeah, sounds good.' I was now fully dressed again and grabbing my keys from the little side table. It would be another full week before we saw each other again and with my schedule and his it might be the case every week. I really wish I could see him more often.

'Okay, it's a date,' he replied and then turned on his side to face away from me, letting me know he was going back to sleep while I could just leave. Trying to be as silent as possible I made my way to the door, but halted right before I opened it. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Deidara's bare shoulder peeking from under the sheets, the little white dove in mid-flight trying to go up to the ceiling or that was what it looked like now at least.

'This may sound like an odd question, but are you happy?'

A bit confused he raised his head and glanced over at me, frown furrowing his eyebrows together. 'Yeah, I guess I am. Why?'

'No reason,' I replied as I turned my head away again, opening the door as an empty smile found my lips.


	8. Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi shares a heart to heart with Sasuke and after that fantasizes about Deidara.

And then the weekend was over again and Monday was filled with more studying. I had planned on working out a little too, but after father caught me returning home late, according to his standards, I was forced to spend the whole day cramming in more material for my next exam. My father didn't really care about where I had been the entire Saturday night, it had happened more often that I returned early in the morning from god knows where. It was all about having enough time to study. I could screw around all I wanted, as long as I returned home on time.

The look on his face when I opened the door on Sunday morning was frightening. I had missed breakfast and that's why he had noticed. If I hadn't made the promise to do more today and not get lost in any distractions, he would've punished me. It might've turned physical. Wouldn't be the first time my loving father would hit me square in the face. To him it was all about raising his children right. The same was with checking up on me every hour to see if I was indeed still studying, but he had left me alone for a while now. Finally.

Now that I finally had the opportunity, I sent a quick text to Deidara. The reply came only seconds later, but disappointing enough he would be working the rest of the day and could only give me a call tonight. At least it was something, but I rather would've had some distraction now. Thinking about him wasn't enough, even if it made me smile often enough.

Suddenly I realised I had been staring at the same sentence for the past five minutes and that was not helping my studying. Not that anything would seriously stay in at this point. How did my father even expect me to remember if I study for hours? That couldn't work really, but who was going to tell him? I sure as hell wasn't. Better just continue reading and make the best of it.

After I hit another stopping point at the next page, blankly staring at a new sentence that suddenly made no sense to me at all, my bedroom door was opened roughly, the handle of it slamming hard against the back of the wall beside it. Only one person entered my room this way, creating a deeper and deeper dent in my wall. It made mother very happy.

'He is such a loser,' Sasuke groaned out loudly, flopping down on my bed and letting out another loud sigh to show off how badly he was doing and how annoyed he was with whatever was going on in his life. And I needed to get involved of course.

Slowly I turned my desk chair around, it groaning under my weight as I was now facing my little brother lying on my bed, acting as if his whole world was crumbling down over nothing. 'Sasuke, I have no time for this. I am studying. Go bother someone else.'

I received a heavy glare for that, but that was pretty much it. Sasuke was not budging from my bed. 'Shut up,' he shot back, eyes narrowing a little more. 'I need to complain, now.' Demanding little brat needed to receive a good spanking or something. As the youngest Sasuke tended to get a little spoiled by mother. Not by father though. He was just as tough on Sasuke as he was on me, though I was the heir to everything, making me more important.

'Five minutes,' I replied.

And then the waterfall of words came about some kid named Naruto he was forced to do a project with. Apparently the kid wasn't doing very well in school and often didn't do his homework either, which didn't work out for Sasuke. In short Naruto was very annoying and a loser. Mostly a loser. A word that came up a lot as Sasuke kept on talking. He should not have gotten five minutes for this. This was not a problem that deserved the risk of getting punished for. But I couldn't be mean to Sasuke about this. He was still young and had these types of dramas to deal with.

'Why don't you ask your teacher to switch partners?' I asked tiredly, unsure if this distraction was better than actual studying.

'It was the teacher that made us a team!' he exclaimed exasperated. 'Because I am the top student and Naruto is the worst student of our class and now I need to help him get his grades up or something like that! It's such bullshit!' Turning around on his stomach Sasuke buried his head into the sheets on my bed and groaned again, thumping his fist against the mattress. Did he really need to make such a big deal out of this? Hadn't he done most projects on his own before as well and had aced them?

Turning around to face my books again I decided this didn't deserve my full attention. 'Maybe instead of complaining to me about it, you should try and motivate him to work hard. If you get to know him better and act like you are friends, perhaps he will do it for you.' If there was something Sasuke could do, it was manipulating his way into something. Hadn't he practically brainwashed some girls already?

Lifting his head from the bed he gazed back at me, as if I had completely lost my mind. 'You actually expect me to be nice to him?'

'It actually wouldn't be such a bad thing for you to also have some guy friends, Sasuke. You're not that good friends with the girls either and I bet this Naruto guy is a good person.' And then to add a bit of a tease I glanced over my shoulder at him smirk lightly on my lips. 'And you know what they say. Opposites attract.'

The glare was right back on his face, because now I had obviously gone too far. Maybe he would leave then and indeed bother someone else with this problem. 'Why are you complaining about my lack of friends when you don't have any at all? I'm fine without them and his oppositeness actually makes him a loser and I don't like losers,' he pointed out.

Such a stubborn little brat. What made me such a great role model exactly? If Sasuke would actually have a guy friend, then he wouldn't bother me with this stuff, but said friend and that would be very beneficial for me. 'I'm not the best example and you know that,' I started. 'I'm not really allowed to have friends or at least hang out with them, though I actually have a male friend now. Remember, Deidara. He is an opposite of me and therefore we actually work well together.' Was this really the way to lecture my little brother? I was mostly now talking about Deidara and that could be used against me. Better just stop talking now.

'That's different!' Sasuke called out, getting up from his stomach and now sitting on my bed, shooting me a challenging glare. 'You actually want to hang out with him and I definitely don't want to hang out with Naruto!'

Okay, I've had enough. I tried helping, tried coming with solutions, but he was not listening to me. I didn't have the time for this and he knew what the consequences were for me when father would walk in now. 'Maybe you should stop whining about it and deal with it like you're an adult,' he replied in an emotionless tone, looking at him out of the corners of my eyes. 'Try to make the best of this project and see what talents he has. Perhaps he has talents that would help in this collaboration.'

His eyes widened slightly at my sudden honesty and then he realised he wasn't being entirely fair towards me. Sasuke didn't care much about how he had been talking about Naruto of course. 'That makes sense,' he muttered to himself. 'I just need to figure out what the loser is good at and then use him to make us ace this project! Thanks, Itachi!' And with that said he jumped off my bed and ran out the door, taking that almost with him as it shook in his hinges when Sasuke threw it closed. Not entirely how I had meant it, but as long as it worked for him and now he finally left me alone…

* * *

After dinner was over and another hour of studying I finally had some time to relax. Even father would approve now since I had worked my way through several summaries and was prepared enough for the exam at the end of the week.

So now lying on my bed, head on the pillow I had a phone pressed against my ear, Deidara on the other side. He was chatting about something that had happened at work, talking about some rude customer not giving him a tip or something. It didn't seem very important and Deidara simply wanted to share his annoyance. Which was fine. It actually made me smile, hearing him getting so riled up over nothing really. Deidara had just this big personality, almost bursting out the seams, and I loved it.

The subject was suddenly changed to a series Deidara had seen the day before, but his tone got softer and a little less excited. It was already getting late and after a hard day of work Deidara must be tired. Midnight was also creeping closer and closer and tomorrow would be another long day. At least for me it would be.

As Deidara fell silent it was my turn to talk. I imagined his eyes closing and his breathing evening out as sleep took over, but we weren't there yet. 'Hey Dei,' I murmured softly. 'I think it's time we go to sleep.'

A soft sigh broke through on the other side of the line, Deidara turning around in his bed and getting into a new position. 'Yeah, I think you're right,' he whispered back and now I knew his eyes were closed and he was ready to fall asleep just like this.

We stayed silent for a while, both of us not really wanting to hang up. It would be smarted to do so since our phone bill would get incredibly high if we left it like this, but it was nice to hear his steady breathing, letting it lull me to sleep.

'I'll call you tomorrow,' he said, instantly waking me up again, eyes opened wide in surprise. I had really almost fallen asleep.

Rubbing my eyes I tried to wake myself up enough to still get out of this bed and brush my teeth and such and perhaps also undress. 'Alright, goodnight Dei,' I muttered, sitting back up to get out.

'Night, Ita.'

I heard the click of the phone being hung up and heard the beep setting in that the line was really dead. I put my cell phone back down on my nightstand and looked around to see my room had gotten awfully dark during the time we had been talking. Switching on the light on my night stand to shower my room in light. Reluctantly I got out of bed and moved to the bathroom to brush my teeth. The light in Sasuke's room was still on when I passed it. It sounded like he was still furiously typing away on his laptop, possibly chatting up another victim.

Opening the door to my room I immediately took off my shirt and threw it onto my desk chair. Followed by my jeans and socks. Boxers was enough to sleep in. After the phone call my mind was still filled with Deidara and as I walked towards my bed, I could already see him lying there, creating this perfect outline under my sheets. I could see him winking at me, lifting the sheets up slightly to show he wasn't wearing anything under there. The thought of him giving me this seducing look made my dick harden slightly. It had been a while since I had come anyway and I hadn't come on Saturday either, so I was a bit in need anyway. I could always just give myself a hand.

Deciding to go for it I took off my boxers as well, throwing them to the side and then slid inside my bed, the image of Deidara immediately vanishing, only to appear right above me as I laid down. His lips were hovering above mine, teasing me, luring me in more and more. I had no idea if he would act like that once we got to the point of having sex, but the idea was wonderful.

Slowly my hand slipped under the sheets, sliding down my body only to grasp my erection and give it a firm stroke. A shiver ran down my spine as I imagined Deidara doing this to me, being so confident and sure that this was right. How great it would be when that really happened. My fantasy continued as my strokes got into a pace. It didn't stay with Deidara simply stroking me. Soon I saw his pleasured face, moans dripping off those plump lips as I thrust into his lithe body. So responsive as he bucked his hips up to meet every time I moved back inside.

I had never been one to fantasize when pleasuring myself. Usually I would go onto the internet and find some satisfying porn video that I would skim through until I had finally reached my high point. But creating your own video in a way was much better. Including yourself and the one you were currently attracted to. With eyes closed I kept on stroking my length, soft sighs escaping my lips with every thrust.

Stroking faster and faster, thumb sliding over the head to gather the precum I got closer and closer to my orgasm. A knot formed in my stomach as I bucked up my hips in response to the pleasure. Another few rough strokes and I came with one last soft groan, cum dribbling over my hand and landing on my abdomen.

Arms now laid out beside me and legs spread a little, I tried to catch my breath, getting down from my high. I should fantasize more often about Deidara. That really was amazing. Blindly I reached for the tissue box on my night stand and took out one, wiping myself clean before making an attempt to throw it in the trashcan. That was a little too far away though, so it landed somewhere in the middle of the room. I would get that tomorrow morning.

Now being completely exhausted I definitely was ready for sleep, but still a little affected by my high, I just needed to text someone. It was probably not a smart move, but that didn't matter now. Nothing mattered. I just needed to share my experience, no matter how creepy it might be.

_Couldn't stop thinking about you._  
 _But it had the best consequences._  
 _Love, Ita_


	9. Meeting the parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deidara decides on his own that it's time to visit Itachi, but finds out soon that this probably wasn't the smartest decision.

_Deidara_

Maybe it was a little strange and I really had no right to complain. I had spoken to him every single day, even if it were just short texts and late night calls. That all was just not enough. I craved more attention than this. I didn't want to appear needy as some of the girls I previously dated, but I still just really wanted to see him. It's odd to suddenly feel this way about someone and also a little frightening. As if the world didn't continue on without the other by your side. Another idiotic thought I quickly pushed aside. Desperation was not one of my traits.

Still I really needed to see him now. Not seeing him made me come up with these ideas that he might not feel the same way and that he might leave me at some point. Seeing him would make these ideas disappear, because that look in eyes told me another story. I just really needed to see him.

Gathering my belongings or at least the things I would need when I left the house, I made my way out the door. Cellphone stuffed in my jeans pocket, keys in the other pocket together with my wallet and then the little piece of paper I had once scribbled his address on. I had never really been to his house before and I actually didn't know why. But there was a first for everything, even if my timing was a little off. He was studying for his last exam and his father had been drilling him every single minute of the day. The exam was tomorrow, so somewhere I could understand the harsh treatment. Not that I would actually listen to something like that. Probably why I wasn't much of a study material. Perhaps it was a bad idea to go see him now, but he wouldn't be mad when he saw me and I would be out of his hair before he knew it. I just needed to see his face, just for a moment.

Rain drizzled from the sky, but it wasn't too bad, so I simply hoisted the collar of my coat a little higher up and made my way to the bus station. I would stay dry under the little roof like thing there. Checking which bus line I needed to take I was surprised the right one actually showed up only a minute later. That really was a lucky shot. I have waited her for far longer than that. Taking a seat somewhere midway down the bus I flopped down, putting my earphones in to drown out the conversations of other passengers around. My stomach was fluttering with butterflies now as the nerves started rising up. How stupid could I be? We've been together for a few weeks now and everything had gone wonderfully. What was there even to be nerves about?

The rest of the ride I spent thinking about how everything was going. I had never expected it to work out so well to be honest. It was my first time ever pursuing a relationship with a man and Itachi actually seemed very new to it all as well. But it worked somehow. We just fitted and we learned together. I felt comfortable and could indeed honestly say that I was happy. A lot of my time I spend smiling, making the customers at the restaurant feel better as well. I had received better tips and it was all just… great. So this little ride shouldn't be bad. It really would only be a moment. Just to say hello and see that dark gaze staring back at me with this spark lying somewhere deep.

After we went through a few stops and half an hour had passed by, I knew my stop would be next. Pressing the red button to notify the bus driver as well and stood up, ready to get out. Slowly the bus came to a halt on the side of the road and the doors opened automatically. As soon as I let my eyes wander down the street I noticed we weren't in the poor side of town anymore. I had known Itachi came from wealth of course. I had been in his car and had seen the brands on his clothes, but this was a bit of a wake-up call. We come from very different environments.

The sand coloured houses were all lined up neatly, separated by tall fences to keep trespassers out and behind that would be thick green bushes to also prevent people from looking in. Looking at the address again on the small piece of paper I remembered the house number and focused on the numbers around, trying to figure out which way to go. It wasn't long before I had found the right one. Not just the house number gave that away. There was also a small sign next to the mail box that said "Uchiha Residence". It made things quite obvious.

On one hand I would call the house inviting. The gate was unlocked, giving you this idea of being welcome. The green bushes were less high, granting you a glimpse of the house. But then as I actually moved on and went through the gate, it all seemed a little cold. It all looked a bit too perfect for my taste. The cars all nicely lined up and flowers standing perfectly in bloom, even if the weather hadn't been too kind to them. Something was off here.

Pushing that thought aside I moved up the threshold and was about to knock on the big wooden door, painted in a ruby red to give the place some colour. Then it hit me. Now that I am here, at his family home, I would also quite possibly be meeting the parents. What kind of impression would I even leave now? I hadn't prepared for that. Idiot. Never listen to impulses and next time actually think about what you're doing. There was no turning back now though. They would just have to make do with my tight jeans, leather jacket and lined eyes. Really, I couldn't make a worse first impression even if I tried. The lip ring really was something parents loved. God, what was I thinking coming here?

Wanting to kick myself in the head I knocked on the door anyway. Closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath to steady myself. It should be fine. Nothing to worry about. I'll just woo them with my sparkling personality.

It didn't take too long before I could hear a side door open and then for the front door to be opened as well. A beautiful woman with long black hair and the same dark stare Itachi had appeared in the doorway. Her skin was almost like porcelain, completely unblemished. Unlike Itachi's face that had big worry lines under his eyes. He really stressed too much for his age.

'Hello, how may I help you?' the woman spoke, who I assumed was Itachi's mother, wearing this sweet smile on her face.

Then the awkward level in me rose, because once mentioning my name she would know who I was, right? 'Sorry, ma'am. I came to see Itachi. I'm Deidara,' I said softly, putting on a shy smile or at least that's how it felt.

Confusion then appeared on her face and I wasn't sure why that had happened. 'Oh?' she spoke first. 'Are you a friend then?'

A friend? That was not what I would call myself, but she even seemed surprised Itachi would have friends. Now I truly started to feel uncomfortable, because I really just didn't understand what was going on. Maybe I should've called ahead instead of stopping by without a word? But being impulsive was a good thing, right? 'Yeah, if that's what you would call me,' I eventually replied back, stuffing my hands inside my pockets.

'Okay,' came the not so intelligent reply. She seemed to be just as confused as I felt and that didn't make this situation any better. 'I had no idea Itachi actually had friends,' she then mused after it, opening the door for me to let me enter. As I stepped inside I noticed the perfection of outside came right back inside as well. No shoes strewn around as Deidara was used to in many other houses. No coats messily hanging from coatracks. It was all just too neat.

As my eyes wandered through the place I looked through an opened door, presumably where the woman had come out of before, and I noticed a man sitting on the couch, reading the paper. Our eyes met for a second and then he turned the page of his paper and continued reading. It seemed that was all I was getting as a greeting. Maybe they weren't very accepting parents or something? That could be the case.

'Itachi is upstairs. Want me to take you there?' the mother spoke up suddenly again, making me turn back to her.

'No, that's fine. I don't want to interrupt you any longer.' In whatever the hell she had been doing. I simply wanted to see Itachi now and not spend more time with the parents. 'Which door is his?'

'First on the right. You can't miss it,' she replied with a nod and then waved me off towards the stairs. Glancing back for a moment I wanted to be sure if it was okay and noticed the woman already going back into the living room, starting a hushed conversation with her husband, or that was what I guessed.

Right as I reached halfway the stairs the woman had come back out of the living room and called out my name. 'Deidara!' As I halted in my steps she seemed to hesitate, but then the man cleared his throat, making her jump slightly. 'Ah, I wanted to ask you why you are here? You see Itachi never has mentioned you and he never really has friends over. We, uh, we don't quite understand.'

And that was perhaps another wake-up call. They really had no idea about who I was or what I was here for. Itachi hadn't said a single thing about me, about us. It may be scary to come out to your parents, but I didn't like being a secret, especially when I wasn't even aware of this secret. Maybe my doubts of before about Itachi's feelings weren't too far of the mark.

'I believe I'm not quite sure anymore either, but I will be out of your hair before you know it. I apologise for the inconvenience.' And then I went up the stairs again, ready to face whatever the hell was going on here.

* * *

_Itachi_

The day was almost over, meaning today I would have my last exam and then actually have some time off. I could spend time with Deidara instead of only being able to text him or call him late at night. Deidara didn't deserve such a treatment, but there was no other way. I did long for him now, the need to see him growing bigger and bigger. I should text him soon and plan a date.

First I would go through my notes one more time and get all this information in. This wasn't my strongest subject and therefore my father actually expected a higher grade. As if to make up for my lack of talent or something. It didn't make much sense, but I just went along with it. Much easier than getting his logic.

The click of my door opening caught my attention. It wasn't Sasuke since he would slam the door open to make himself noticed right from the start. This would also not be father who I would've heard coming up the stairs with the way he stamps his feet. My mother then. Slowly I turned around and I immediately saw this was not my mother. Not by far. With eyes wide I stared up at a beautiful person I was allowed to call mine.

But something was wrong. The way he looked at me was all wrong. The fact that he was here was also very wrong. He must've seen my parents and I must get lectured after this for having someone over. Not to mention that Deidara might've said something that could make things even worse. But that was not something to worry about now. It was how he casually leaned against my wall, not making any move to actually get closer to me. How his blue gaze looked down at me with judgement. 'Dei?' I started. 'I something wrong?'

Biting his bottom lip for a second, pushing the ring out a little he turned his eyes away. 'Well… I'm not sure.' He frowned a little as he stared at the dark sky outside, rain steadily tapping away at my window. 'I came here with the idea that it would be nice to see you since we hardly ever do, but then I got here and instantly that idea kind of vanished.' Worrying his lip some more he eventually ended with a clack of the tongue and shook his head. 'Am I your secret?'

Never had I seen Deidara like this. Composed anger. Usually he was like this exploding bomb and that might come out any moment now, depending on how I would answer that question. I wouldn't give the right answer though. I wouldn't lie and he was my secret. The one I had been careful with, because I didn't want my father to take him away from me.

Staying quiet too long was eventually my downfall. 'I should've known,' he said, chocking out a humourless laugh. Folding his arms together he looked down at his shoes, shaking his head once more before glancing up and staring right at me. 'I'm sorry, I can't do this,' again he chuckled out the words, showing he felt utterly defeated. 'I'm not going to be your secret. This shit is hard for me too, but at least I am trying. I won't stay hidden, Itachi. So you go date your fucking books and I'll see if I can find someone who will tell the world they are together with me.' He then moved through the open bedroom door again and made his way down the stairs before going through the front door as well.

Then I came to. Why didn't I open my fucking mouth when I had the chance? Why hadn't I ever explained anything to him? Because I keep things in and never talk. Quickly I scrambled to my feet and ran down the stairs, following after him. He couldn't just leave like that. I needed to talk to him. It wasn't too late yet! Right? Of course I forgot a jacket, of course I forgot the rain. It didn't matter now. I needed to find him. Glancing from left to right I noticed him walking to the bus station at a steady pace.

'Deidara,' I yelled after him. He didn't turn around at all, so I made a run for it, trying to catch up to him before he got on the next bus. It started raining harder and harder and soon my clothes were completely soaked, but that didn't matter now. I felt everything slipping right through my fingers and I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let this be the end of it. Finally I reached him and as he heard my footsteps get closer, he finally turned around, giving me a heavy glare. 'Just let me explain,' I pleaded.

'Let it go, Itachi,' Deidara replied in a monotone, shaking his head again. 'You don't really want me. You're too scared of what others might think. Just find someone that fits in your perfect little world and forget all about me. I'm sure you'll manage that.' And then he turned around and before I could muster up any words to actually explain, defend myself and defend my feelings towards him the bus arrived and I watched Deidara get on, giving me one last almost sad look.

'You can't leave me, Dei!' I called after him, even if he probably couldn't hear me anymore. 'You can make me happy!' And then the doors closed and the bus drove off.


	10. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having a talk with his little brother, Itachi decides to go out and take his mind off of things, but the evening takes a turn when he sees someone familiar there.

It had taken half an hour to get my body to feel warm again. Half an hour standing under the searing hot water beam before I had stopped shivering and still I felt so incredibly cold inside. This feeling of dread tugging at my heart didn't help either of course. And even now that my body was warm again and the cold rain wasn't clinging to my clothes anymore, I still didn't feel like getting out of the shower. As long as I was in there, I could pretend it all hadn't happened, right? But eventually being alone with your thoughts for too long wasn't a great idea either, so I got out, reluctantly.  
  
The cold tiles of the bathroom floor immediately bit down on my feet as soon as I stepped on the, but I ignored it, slowly padding my way through the room until I reached the door. A towel was loosely wrapped around my waist, but I simply didn't care about it now. They all had seen me naked before anyway, so what did it matter?  
  
The soft buzz of my computer was the only sound in my room. The screen was blank, it now being in sleep mode or whatever. Thinking about studying now only made me nauseous, so I put that idea on hold immediately. Let my father punish me for not working as hard as I could. Perhaps I had deserved it.  
  
My welcoming bed eventually gave me a new wave of warmth and security, but right as I was about to just go to sleep and pray I would wake up tomorrow morning with this all being a bad dream, the door to my bedroom opened a little and a head framed by short black hair peeped around the corner.  
  
'What do you want, Sasuke?' That was all I could muster now. I didn't need to explain myself. There were moments where the big brother could show weakness as well and Sasuke would just have to deal with it. In his room on his own. I didn't want his company now. Wallowing in self-pity seemed much more appealing.  
  
Shuffling inside Sasuke completely ignored my threatening glare and sat down on my bed, keeping enough distance between our bodies to keep a brotherly border and close enough to show that he was here because he cared. His eyes weren't directed at me, but more at the other side of my room. A nice white wall and a closet filled with clothes that was now closed for public. 'I saw you go after that guy in the rain and then come back alone. I wanted to make sure you were okay.'  
  
Sometimes I hated how perceptive he was, but it was what he hated about me as well. We were simply in tune to each other and it made things easier. In a way Sasuke was my best friend, how pathetic that may sound. It's not like I had anyone else. With a sigh I grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him down on the bed, both of us now lying down beside each other. Quickly Sasuke switched to his other side so we were facing each other. Memories flooded back of past times when we did this quite often, whispering silly secrets to one another and sometimes simply hiding away from the argues our father often had. 'I'm not alright,' I murmured back, switching back and forth between Sasuke's left and right eye. 'But thank you for checking on me.' And it was a sincere thank you, even if it wasn't as welcomed.  
  
It stayed quiet for a moment, Sasuke now shyly looking down at his hands, fumbling with the sheets below our bodies. Even if we had done this often as kids, it had never really happened after Sasuke entered high school. As if we had grown out of that phase. 'That was Deidara, right?' he asked softly and I nodded in reply, making him grimace slightly. The kid worried too much sometimes. 'What happened?'  
  
'I screwed up.'  
  
Expectantly Sasuke then dared to look up at me, not finding that answer very sufficient, but I kept my mouth shut. There wasn't more to say. I had screwed up. I had caused all this, because I was too chicken to explain things to Deidara before he would find out on his own. Was it a crime to linger in the falling in love phase a little longer? Ignoring all the problems that might be up ahead? Frowning a little Sasuke realised he would have to continue this conversation. 'What are you going to do now?'  
  
A shrug was my initial reply, but the annoyed glint in Sasuke's eyes and the slightly raised hand told me I should start explaining now. Little brothers had so little patience, but some tough love was good for me perhaps. 'There is not much I can do,' I muttered, turning over on my back to stare up the off white ceiling. Sasuke followed my movement and laid down in the same position next to me. 'I can only ask forgiveness and I am not sure if Deidara would accept it.'  
  
'Well that's depressing.' Came the very intelligent reply that would really help me move forward. It made me crack a smile nonetheless. Then Sasuke turned his head towards me slightly, biting his bottom lip in thought. 'Maybe you should go out. It's a good way to clear your mind.'  
  
Turning to look at him as well I contemplated the thought. 'I might as well now. Better fail this exam with the worst grade I could get than a barely fail, right?'

* * *

Leaving the house hadn't been as much trouble as I initially had thought, though it had been very awkward. Sasuke had stayed in his room to avoid any conflict, which was smart, but in the end nothing happened. Mother saw me of at the door, even helping me put on my coat and father… father had sat in the living room, newspaper for once placed on the coffee table, and stared at me. This hard glare that made me want to cower away, but as long as no words were shot my way, I took the chance and left anyway. I anticipated on him coming after me, yelling me about how I dared to leave for the evening the day before an important test, but he didn't come. Perhaps I had hell to pay when I got back though, but I would make sure I'd be drunk enough to barely notice.  
  
The bus ride there was mostly spent tapping my foot impatiently on the floor. I wanted to be there already and forget all about what had happened. I wanted to dance, to drink, to fuck someone against the dirty wall of a bathroom stall and go home feeling disgusting, but rather satisfied as well. All I wanted was to do everything I would've done before I even thought about dating. I practically jumped off the bus as it was still driving and then moved straight towards my favourite club. They played the best music and had a very versatile crowd, giving me options.  
  
My coat was dropped on a barstool and then I instantly ordered a shot of tequila. Better get the buzz on right away. Another one was shot back before I entered the dance floor. Making my way through the crowd I took a place somewhere in the middle, having enough people surrounding me to create this perfect atmosphere. The beat swayed me to a dance and soon I found myself moving along with the rest of the people. Some singing along to the barely there lyrics and others trying to feel up some girl's skirt. In retrospect this really wasn't a great scene to be in, but I loved it nonetheless.  
  
As the song changed into some kind of bubbling remix, the people around dancing more with their hips now, I joined in. A dark red headed guy locked eyes with me and I instantly recognised the look of want, but it was a little too early in the evening. I would keep him in mind though. He was very attractive and that red hair was certainly appealing. Pulling my gaze away was enough of a rejection for now and I turned back to the music.  
  
As the guy left he created a gap in the crowd, showing more people to me dancing and that was when the unthinkable happened. There he was, dancing was some other guy. Rubbing his ass against some guy's crotch, shooting all these sultry looks over his shoulder as if this was the most normal thing in the world.  
  
I felt betrayed and lied to. Hadn't Deidara said that he hated to dance and that he wasn't comfortable with going out with a man in the beginning? I wasn't even allowed to touch him and now here he was, practically being fucked right here on the dance floor. I was angry and somewhere deep inside I wanted to tell him the truth, but I was here doing the same thing. Still it felt different. Deidara knew this was me before we went out. It hurt, it really did.  
  
To make matters worse the guy with the fake red hair turned Deidara around and pressed his lips hard against the blond's. And Deidara immediately responded by throwing his arms around the guy's neck. I couldn't stop watching them, easily moving together on the dance floor. The red's hands were sliding over Deidara's body, feeling him up right in front of me. Slowly Deidara cracked open an eye and then as his eyes moved through the crowd, they landed on me. His eyes widened immediately and he jumped away from the kiss, but it was too late. The deed was done. This couldn't be fixed. It was not just me who had done things wrong.  
  
Pushing my way rather aggressively through the crowd I was back by the bar in mere seconds. Snatching my coat of the barstool I made my way out of the club and gasped for air as soon as I was. The cold outside air was stabbing its way down my lungs, but I didn't care now. Everything hurt already anyway. This was supposed to be my place. Somewhere I could relief myself from stress and now it was tainted. How could I return without being reminded of what had happened tonight?  
  
I took a cab home. Before I knew it I was home. Throwing some money at the driver I jumped out of the car and ran towards the house. With shaking hands I tried to put the key into the hole, but it wouldn't align and I really started freaking out more and more. As I was about to fall down and cry, curling up in a ball right outside of the door, it suddenly swung open, making me stumble inside and land on my knees.  
  
A dark gaze was turned down on me and normally I would've feared it, would've avoided it, but all I could do now was cling to it. It was familiar and welcomed me back to my old life. The life where this kind of pain didn't exist. 'I didn't expect you to be home already,' father whispered, not wanting to wake up anyone else. And this weird kind gesture coming from my father, the not minding I went out at all and finding it odd I was home already, made me grab the sleeve of his sweater. I was still breathing heavily and I felt the silent tears well up in my eyes, ready to spill on their own accord. It was then that my father kneeled beside me and wrapped his arms around me. 'That boy is not good enough for you, Itachi,' he muttered and I instantly froze. He knew. 'There are better people out there who will mean so much more.'  
  
'But I really liked him,' I replied softly, being honest for the first time about this whole thing. Father knew already anyway and I had liked Deidara a lot, a whole lot. It could've been more, so much more.  
  
'A man will never make you happy, Itachi,' father shushed, rocking me back and forth slightly as if I were only a child. It was still comforting, having someone take the lead for me now. I wouldn't even know where to start. 'This was all just a phase and now you know you need a woman instead. Soft and sweet.'  
  
I stayed quiet for a while, father still hugging me to his body, making shushing sounds until the tears had finally stopped falling. It was then that I finally decided to speak up and ask. 'How did you know?'  
  
'I knew as soon as he walked through the front door. No one can deny he's a beautiful boy, Itachi. But beautiful boys are simply not good enough.'


	11. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has only been a few days since Itachi and Deidara split up and already Itachi is send out on a date by his father, but of course things happen there.

The weekend had not been a great time. On Friday I had failed the exam horribly. Fortunately my father wasn't too angry about it, as long as I passed the resit in a few weeks, then we wouldn't even talk about it. So unlike him, but very welcomed at this point. Because I didn't have any classes after the weekend, there was nothing for me to do either. No homework, no studying, nothing. So all I could do was think of Deidara and perhaps mope around a little bit. Not that anyone would really notice.

On Sunday I slept in first and after hunger finally pushed me out of bed, I made my way downstairs in an all too quite house. There were always people around, but they were now possibly just hiding. In the kitchen I ran into my mom. After muttering a morning I simply ignored her as she was humming some kind of song under her breath, making a cake we would be eating as a dessert later on or something. I simply grabbed a bowl and the cereal out of a cabinet, added milk to it and fled to the living room to avoid the small talk my mom would eventually start and also to aimlessly stare at the TV.

After going through my first bite of cereal, the door suddenly swung open again and mother walked in while drying her hands on a towel. So much for fleeing the scene… Still humming that now annoying song she sat down next to me, pretending she was going to join me in watching some kind of dumb cartoon that was supposed to make me laugh. For a moment I stared at the side of her face, squinting my eyes in suspicion, but she kept on looking at the TV, so I did the same, taking another bite of my breakfast, or lunch… Let's call it brunch.

Of course then she decided to speak up. 'You know you have that date tonight, right?'

Completely and utterly confused I turned towards her, giving mother this dumbfounded look, because I could not have a date tonight. I got dumped only a few nights ago and I was pretty sure I didn't want to date anyway. 'I have a date,' I answered in a monotone.

'Yes, your father arranged it.' The smile on her lips was supposed to tell me that she was happy about this and was encouraging me to be happy about it as well. The uncomfortable way she was fumbling with her skirt told a whole other story though. It was a nasty move of father to send mother to give me the news.

Turning back to the TV I scooped in another spoonful of cereal and then replied with a mouthful. 'I have to go, don't I?'

'Yes, you'll meet her at the Three Brothers.' With a nod mother then stood up, feeling like she had done her duty, and disappeared back into the kitchen. Probably to finish her cake. And it seemed I had a date to prepare for…

* * *

Everything about the date had been planned. My father actually helped me get dressed while giving me all these encouraging comments about how this would really help me and that this was such a lovely girl. I only felt worse after I finally got into my car and drove off. Couldn't he have given me some extra time to actually get over Deidara? Shoving a date down my throat was not a great way for that. But what had I expected? Of course father would continue right on the same foot. We had been in this situation often enough and I always went along with it. I did everything to avoid a raise of his voice or hand for that matter.

After I parked my car right around the block I made my way to the restaurant, the feel of dread really tugging at my heart now. I shouldn't be here. When I pushed the door open, the little bell above the door jingled, letting everyone know I had arrived. The place looked a little Italian, mostly executed on stereotypes we had, but it was cosy and it smelled nice around. Dark cherry wood decorated the restaurant area, thick beams holding the place together and giving the place a warm atmosphere. The bar area had spices and dried meat hanging from several places and the tables wore red and white chequered cloths. Why my father had chosen this place I was not sure of, but it didn't exactly seem to fit his style.

Waiting by the bar to be seated I was soon joined by a redheaded waiter and right away I recognised him. It was the redhead I had made eye contact with at the club the other day. Handsome still, but I wasn't very interested in redheads anymore.

'Hello and welcome to the Three Brothers, owned by my two brothers and me. Did you have a reservation?' As his eyes moved up from his book back to me I saw that flash of recognition and as a shy smile formed on his lips, a blush also appeared. One he tried to hide behind his ruby red hair instantly. It really was a nice colour. It almost looked dyed, but he didn't seem the type to do that.

Moving to lean on one foot I glanced away from his face and towards his book that held the reservations, not wanting to give him the wrong impression. 'Yes, thank you. I made a reservation under the name Uchiha, for two,' I replied softly. The idea of going on a date again ripped right through me. It felt like I was cheating somehow, even if I wasn't.

Glancing through the book he found my reservation, nodding with that smile still on his lips, though the look in his eyes had hardened a little. 'Of course, follow me.' And with that he moved from behind the counter and led me towards a small table by the window, my date already sitting in one of the seats, glancing out the window without much interest in me. 'Your waiter will be with you shortly. If you have any questions or concerns, just ask for Nagato and I will come running.' With another nod and now a brighter smile shot my way, one of the three brothers, apparently named Nagato, left us alone, shooting one last longing look over his shoulder.

Sliding into my own seat across from my date, the girl still didn't look up. Instead she blew out a breath, clearly as excited to be here as I was. Her looks did surprise me though. Not that she didn't look nice. This was a very beautiful woman. But this was definitely not the girl next door type my father usually set me up with. Short hair that was dyed a darkish blue colour, a white clip on flower attached to it. Blue eye shadow to match her hair and then a piercing right under her lip. Perhaps father had looked at Deidara and figured this woman would fit my type. Though I wasn't sure if father would actually care about that.

'Itachi,' I muttered at her as an introduction, not feeling the need to be extra polite or to give the girl a good time. If she was going to act uncaring, then I would do the same.

At that point she finally decided to look at me as well, leaning back in her chair as if to get as far away from me as possible. 'Konan,' she said in reply. For a second her gaze swept through the restaurant and then settled back on staring out the window.

Not wanting to go through this date in complete silence, I tried to strike up a conversation. 'Have you been here before?'

Konan then turned a pointed look on me, narrowing her eyes slightly as she finally really looked at me. 'Yeah, actually quite a lot since my boyfriend works here,' she spat, as if this was all my fault.

Stunned I stared at the woman, unsure on how to even take this news. Boyfriend. She has a fucking boyfriend that works here? I wasn't even sure how to respond to this. 'Then why are we on this date?' I asked, putting on my accusing tone too, because I was now going to blame her. Especially when this boyfriend would show his face and get mad at me for something that I had no control in.

Folding her arms together Konan clacked her tongue, but did turn her hard gaze away. Apparently she now realised this was not all my fault. 'Because my father is an employee of yours and he wants to get a promotion.' Tiredly I just rubbed my face, unsure on what to even do about this. Of course this was work related again. This had nothing to do with me. Konan then turned a worried eye on me. 'You're not gonna tell your dad, right?'

So there was a lot riding on this for her and I actually had to make a good impression too if I wanted to keep my father satisfied. 'If you make sure my father thinks I put some effort into this date, then I won't say a thing.'

'Oh, okay.' We then sat there in silence for a while, Konan twirling her fingers around each other. Strange how we got to this arrangement so easily. Now both of us could leave this place with happy thoughts. Or at least Konan could. 'So… what should we do now?'

With a sigh I tried to come up with a plan, but I couldn't really go anywhere. 'I can't go home yet and I can't hang out anywhere else either, because I might be recognised, so why not just have dinner?'

Pursing her lips Konan thought about it for a moment. 'Alright, I'll go along with that if you pay for dinner.' Instantly she picked up the menu, not giving me much of a say in this and stared picking out what she wanted to eat. As her eyes were scanning through the different dishes, Konan started talking as if the whole uncomfortable thing of before hadn't even happened. Apparently the idea of this not being a date put her mind to ease. 'You know the reason our date is here is because my boyfriend is one of the owners. He wanted to keep an eye on you. He must be happy about the fact that that won't be necessary though. Why exactly didn't you want to go on this date?'

I should've expected that question, though I didn't really want to go into details. 'I got dumped by my boyfriend a few days ago.' Should at least give me some sympathy.

Immediately a frown formed on her forehead as the awkwardness rose again. Not something you expected from your date. Shaking the sadness off Konan focused on something else. 'So you're gay and your father sends you on a date with a girl. That seems very unfair. Nagato over there,' she shot her thumb towards the bar to point at him. 'And Sasori, the other brother, are both openly gay and no one will tell them who to date. A much better life.'

So we were having this conversation. I still felt the need to correct her though. 'I'm actually bisexual, so I am also attracted to women. Still my father does not support who I date and rather chooses for me.'

Konan shook her head at that and actually completely waved it off. 'You should not let your father do that. You should date whoever you want to and I already know someone who is very much interested. Nagato has been staring at you the entire time we've been sitting here. I can help you out if you want me to?' And then the setting up started. I thought I had made it clear I didn't want to date anyone right now, after my recent break-up, but Konan didn't pay any mind to that. She was completely focused on showing how great Nagato was. 'Nagato is a real sweetheart, honestly. He once dated this guy and I swear it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen. He bought him gifts all the time and took him on a vacation. It was so sad when they broke up. I wish Yahiko was that sweet.' I assumed Yahiko was her boyfriend then, but at this point I wasn't paying attention much anymore. I still wasn't interested in Nagato at all and right now I was contemplating leaving anyway, because being set up was not what I wanted today at all.

Suddenly Konan fell silent though and I felt this heavy presence to my side. Glancing up at our waiter I was met with two of the most beautiful piercing blue eyes I had ever seen. Instantly my breath caught in my throat as those eyes coolly looked back at me. 'Want me to read the specials or should I leave you two alone again to see if you're more into girls again or rather date Nagato. I'm assuming since his name has been dropped quite a few times here.' It was cold and harsh and really unfair. Deidara had dumped me and then had been the first to move on as well. And I wasn't even enjoying this date.

Mouth agape Konan looked from Deidara to me and back again, suddenly realising. 'Holy shit, you're Deidara's ex?' she said exasperated, eyes almost bulging out of her head. But I ignored it. I only had eyes for Deidara.

How could I respond to that though? I didn't want to say anything mean to him in the first place. I wanted to have him back in my life and have him stay here. 'Dei,' I eventually said softly, but Deidara was already walking away from me. After Konan had called out her surprise, we got a lot of attention. Two other redheads had now joined us in the restaurant area, probably being the other two brothers. But I couldn't let Deidara leave me again like this. I needed to explain things, properly. I had to.

Scrambling from my chair I followed after him and finally caught up to him right as he turned a corner to go into the bathroom. Grabbing his wrist I stopped him from moving on. We were now sheltered from the other customers, so at least we had some privacy. 'Could you please just hear me out?' I said softly, tightening my hold slightly.

'Why? We're not a couple anymore, so I'm not judging you. Of course you should know Konan has a boyfriend already,' Deidara said lowly, trying to free his wrist from my hand, but I wouldn't let him. He was going to listen to me and swallow his accusing words.

'My father arranged this date for me,' I replied coolly, making sure Deidara understood what this meant. 'It's all business related. Konan's father works for my father and needs a promotion. I don't want to date Konan and she doesn't want to date me. I don't want to date anyone else, but you.' And with that said I finally released his wrist, giving him the option to walk away now. If that was the case, it really was over.

Slowly Deidara then turned around to look at me and our eyes met for a split second. I could see the pain there, the same sorrow I had gone through for days now. This was all just not right. Before he could say anything though a certain redhead turned the corner. He was one of the brothers and looked rather annoyed to me. 'Too bad he's not interested in dating you.'

Deidara snapped his head towards Sasori and send the heaviest glare his way. 'I don't believe he was talking to you.'

This strange vibe was now radiating around us and I wasn't sure what was going on until I added one plus one. Deidara's boss had been hitting on him for a long time and Deidara had been kissing a certain redhead the other day. This was him.

'Still that should be the answer you give him. Wasn't he a complete jackass and I thought you and I were now dating?' Strange for such a little guy to be so threatening. The way he tried to tower over Deidara, even if the blond was taller than he was. Not that Deidara was fazed by it. He simply leaned back against the wall and gave him this challenging look.

'I was fucking drunk and you took advantage of the situation. Don't act like I owe you anything. And if I want to give Itachi another shot, then that is my decision. I rather be with him than with you.' And that was the only clue I needed, the only thing I needed to hear. I had another shot. This was him saying that even if he didn't forgive me, he was willing to think about it or talk about it. Just something. It wasn't completely ruined.

For a minute I thought the redhead was going to hit him or just do something, so I stepped forward, showing off I was much taller than he was. He cowered away then, walking away from us and leaving us alone again to deal with this. I wasn't sure if he would stay away though. Deidara still worked here, but at least he wasn't afraid of the guy at all.

As we were left alone again Deidara turned to look at me and we just stared at each other. This wasn't fixed yet, but there was a chance now. 'We need to talk,' Deidara eventually spoke up. 'Explain to me what's going on in your life. What is the deal with your dad and shit? After that we'll see if we can continue on.'

'I hope we can,' I replied softly, sounding hopeful.

Deidara then pushed himself off the wall and moved back to the restaurant area, me following right behind him. 'I hope so too,' he whispered and that little line made a big smile form on my lips, it not leaving the entire dinner I still shared with Konan, being waited on by my favourite blond in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on a three week vacation now, so no updates for a while! After that I'll update as soon as I can!


	12. Making up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi and Deidara finally have an honest conversation about Itachi's life.

A few days later after my fake date I finally got to see Deidara. He still had work to attend and of course he wasn’t too eager to get together late in the evening. It would also raise questions from my parents, so eventually it became a Tuesday afternoon. Father was working, so never saw me leave the house and mother was happy with the fact that I even got out of the house and wasn’t locked up in my room, ignoring the entire family. I didn’t feel like spending time with them now that I knew how father saw my relationship with Deidara.

He wouldn’t approve. He never would. That was very clear. It was already a surprise he approved of the experimenting and didn’t even find it odd that his son might fall for a man. It was just not good for the Uchiha image and of course to him the family roles didn’t fit. Now I would not tell them about my relationship. At least not while I was still living under their roof. How this was going to work out, I didn’t know. I hope I would have Deidara by my side to at least figure things out with me.

Smoothly my car slid down the empty streets. I had perfectly remembered where Deidara’s apartment was, even if I had only been there a handful of times. It was just an important road, one I needed to know. How could I forget that worn out building Deidara called home with the odd neighbours around? Reaching the apartment building there were only two parking spaces left on the side of the street. A few old beat up cars were parked there as well. After safely parking my car I made my way to the main door and pressed the buzzer with Deidara’s name standing beside it on the nametag.

‘ _Hello?_ ’ the cracked sound of his voice sounded through the little speaker beside the door. He sounded tired.

‘It’s me,’ I replied, leaning closer to the speaker as if it would help him hear my voice better. Deidara buzzed me up and a few stairs later I found myself in front of his apartment door, it already slightly ajar to signal I could let myself in. A habit quite foreign to me. The houses I usually went to all were almost barred closed as if someone was going to rob them at any point and it hardly ever happened.

Carefully I pushed the door open and glanced around the apartment, but saw no familiar face. Stepping inside I moved my head from left to right, but the room was really empty. ‘Dei?’ I called out.

‘In the bathroom,’ came his muffled voice in reply. That must be a permission of me to make myself welcome or something. Also a strange feeling. We hadn’t really made up yet, so letting someone in like that was not really logical, right? It still made me happy, because it meant I was really being let in again. I was welcome. I was a step closer to fixing this.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed I made sure not to mess up the freshly made sheets. Deidara had been prepared for me this time. The place looked clean and neat. Silently I waited for him to come out of the bathroom, vaguely wondering what he even was doing in there. Prepare some kind of torture device that would be my punishment for screwing up?

A minute later, after coming up with the most horrifying scenarios, Deidara finally stepped out of the bathroom. His hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail, heavily hanging to the side. Clothed in a loose fitting pyjama pants and a grey tank top added to his lazy look. And with the way he lifted the shirt up slightly to scratch his belly, showing off some extra skin, he took my breath away. God, Deidara was gorgeous. He looked like he had just pulled himself out of bed and hadn’t bothered to fix himself at all. Waking up next to him looking like that would be a dream come true.

‘Had a good night sleep?’ I asked, referring to his look. It was already early in the afternoon and I had been awake for hours already. Of course he could’ve simply chosen to walk around like this all day.

A roll of the eye and a smack against the arm was his initial reply as he flopped down beside me, lying down on the bed and closing his eyes as if to get in another nap while I was there. Not really what I was here for. ‘I had a long day yesterday. I only got back around two a.m. at night from work last night, so I slept in. You should be happy I at least brushed my teeth, so I don’t have morning breath.’

‘That would indeed be horrible if you had morning breath,’ I replied teasingly, wiggling my eyebrows at him once he opened his eyes again.

‘It would be though.’ Putting his arms behind his head he made himself more comfortable on the bed. ‘I mean then you wouldn’t want to give me any make up kisses and I can’t risk that.’

The last comment went straight to my heart, making it race inside my chest as it sunk in further and further. Make up kisses. It was practically as if everything was alright already, though I knew that wasn’t true. Deidara was just giving me the space to tell everything at my own pace. But I couldn’t resist now. As those bright blue eyes closed again I leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips. Immediately I felt the soft push back. The familiar feel of his lips made me linger a little longer, but I knew not to stretch it too long. Pulling back I just looked down at him, seeing the flutter of his eyelids as he kept his eyes firmly closed.

‘You’re beautiful,’ I murmured, making him peek open one eye to look up at me.

‘Thank you,’ he replied smugly. ‘You’re not bad yourself,’ he added as if to give me a compliment. I knew it was a mere tease and I was happy Deidara felt comfortable to tease me again. ‘Now let’s get to the reason why you are here. I’ve told you some things about my life, but I don’t think I know anything about yours, which was the entire problem the last time. So talk. Tell me all your secrets. Spill the beans.’ He was waving his arms around, almost smacking me in the face.

Turning my body I now faced the room, my eyes sliding over the old fashioned wall paper and finding all the different motives it had. ‘Secrets,’ I muttered. ‘I think I’ll just start talking about my home situation. Some things you already know and after that I can add some other things that will be the secrets part.’ I could feel him shift behind me and I knew his eyes were now open, watching the back of my head, trying to take in my every move. ‘My family consists of my father Fugaku, my mother Mikoto, my little brother Sasuke and I. We have a family company called Uchiha Inc. and I am the heir to it all. Everything I learn in college now is to prepare me for that job and I also do some part time work for my father when I have the time.

‘Now the secrets.’ I didn’t let Deidara have any input now. It was better to just spill everything and then let him give his opinion if he wished. ‘My father controls the household like some kind of dictator. Sometimes he shows a lenient side, only to take it all away from you again when you mess up. Sasuke and I are drilled for an office job. He forces us to do our homework, forces us to study so excessively that sometimes we succumb under the stress. My mother does everything he tells her to do out of sheer fear. We all fear him, because if we go against his will, he will hit us. He says it will make us strong and that he only wants the best for us, but it’s the best for his image that he wants. He’ll choose the girl we’ll marry and choose the house we’ll live in and perhaps even decide how many children we have to make more little heirs. We hate him,’ I spat finally, bawling my fists as I let my own story sink in for a second. He really was a horrible man.

Shifting his position on the bed again I found Deidara sitting up and leaning against me, having placed two hands on my shoulders as he glanced over one to look at my face. Slowly I turned his way, meeting his gaze. His look was unreadable as he processed the entire thing. ‘No happy secrets?’

‘Only one,’ I said softly, keeping our eyes locked. ‘Only Sasuke knows as well. I like to paint. Sometimes when I have some spare time I stay longer at school and go to the art department. They let me use their supplies as long as I clean up after myself when I leave. I like the really big canvasses, so I can create entire worlds on a single painting.’

A slight smile had formed on Deidara’s lips now as he listened to me. It felt nice to be able to talk so freely like this and maybe you would expect an answer, but it was nice that Deidara just took it in and let the info settle inside his head. Now he just knew and that was enough. There wasn’t anything he could do about it anyway and words weren’t going to make my situation better.

‘I’d like to see a painting sometime,’ he said first, giving my shoulder a squeeze before he let his hands slide down and settle them beside his body. ‘But now I kind of want to know more about Sasuke, because he seems quite important to you.’ That was unexpected question, but a welcoming change of subject. Talking about Sasuke was always fun.

A slight smile started tugging at my lips as I thought of my little brother. ‘He’s an annoying sixteen year old brat whom I love to death. We’ve always been quite compatible and of course since we are in the same situation we bonded quite easily. Growing up together in a house like that makes you turn to each other. He is the one who actually wants to be heir to the Uchiha throne,’ I mused, but I let that thought slide quickly. ‘He’s also a bit of a slut. Dating one girl after the other or it’s not even really dating. He just beds them for about a week and then moves on to the next. Usually he says I was a bad role model, but even I didn’t lose my virginity at an age of fourteen.’

Too late I realised my confession, but Deidara instantly caught on, raising an eyebrow as he looked me over. ‘So you’re kind of a slut too, huh?’

Taking a deep breath I knew I had to tell the truth. Otherwise it would bite me in the ass later and I had been quite promiscuous. ‘You can say that yes, but not anymore of course. It was a way for me to release stress. It was also the only thing I had control of really. On Saturday I would go out clubbing and go home with someone. It worked for a while, but only superficially. Sasuke kind of does the same, but pretends he dates the girls.’

It stayed silent for a moment as he kept staring up at my face. This information was not something he liked and I understood that. For someone who had never been with a man before this was perhaps a bit frightening. ‘But you’re not doing it right now as you said, so what relaxes you now?’

‘Good question,’ I said softly, trying to come up with the right answer. I didn’t want to lie and come up with the good boyfriend reply. It needed to be the truth and the truth was that I had not been doing so well lately. ‘Honestly it’s been tough and don’t take it the wrong way. I wouldn’t trade you in for all those one night stands ever. Having a relationship is far more superior to that, but not having a very intimate relationship yet makes it different. I wouldn’t force you at all and it’s good we take it slow. I just need to get through it in a different way.’

Grasping my hand he pulled me towards him a little and connected our gazes again. ‘You know it’s hard for me to even imagine what your life is like. It’s very different from mine and a part of me wants to say that you should stand up for yourself and just do whatever you want, but the rational part of me knows it’s not that easy.’ Biting his lip he kept some words in I knew, but he let others flow out instead. ‘I wish it were that easy.’ A hand slid down the side of my face, pushing a lock of hair out of my eyes. A moment later Deidara leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips. The timing seemed off, but I didn’t care. I wanted to kiss him, much more than just this. Pulling back he hovered a few inches away, making my heart race in my throat. ‘You don’t have to tell your parents that we are together. It’s best if we keep it a secret from them.’

‘Yeah,’ I breathed out, feeling excitement rush through my body as I felt his stay so close to mine. This was a different kind of intimate. We were barely touching and yet I felt this heat lingering under my skin as if it were on fire. ‘I’ll only tell Sasuke,’ I added, trying to keep my mind from drowning in Deidara’s eyes.

‘I’ll figure something out, don’t worry. Together we’ll work this out. Just watch me, I’ll make everything better,’ he murmured, shifting his body a little closer to mine, our thighs no pressed together and our noses almost touching. I could feel his hot breath fanning against my face and I could see his pupils had widened as he looked up at me. ‘And I think I’ll start with releasing some of your stress.’

As he slowly stood up, his grip tightened a little to pull me up from the bed as well and then we slowly shuffled our way towards the bathroom. I followed him blindly, because I couldn’t wait to find out what he was planning on doing.

‘Are you happy?’ he asked softly, returning the question I had asked a while back.

‘I’m getting there.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to share some things with you guys, because I came up with some stuff while away on vacation!
> 
> 1\. I changed my fanfiction blog a little and it's now also a prompt blog! This way I can share some ideas with you and not keep them all to myself. My name there is also dana-eliza on tumblr, so check it out! You can also send in your own prompts if you'd like ^^
> 
> 2\. I made another blog for Deidara. Here I use prompts to write his story out. The blog is called akatsukideidaraau and I also post it on here as a story combining the parts. You can also send in prompts there and help me write the story!


	13. Showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deidara and Itachi have some fun under the shower together.

The road to the bathroom was not long and I have to admit I was very surprised when the door slammed closed right in my face. What was he up to all of a sudden? Weren't we sharing a moment and wasn't Deidara planning on doing something I would definitely be very pleased with? Hearing him rummaging on the other side of the door and then even turn the shower on, I decided to knock on the door and see what would happen.

'Yes?' came the innocent reply.

Leaning my hands on either side of the doorframe I rested my weight there. 'Well, I was under the impression that we were going into the bathroom together, but it seems you closed the door before me. Perhaps you could open it for me?' I have to admit somewhere I was a little annoyed, even if I kept my voice levelled. If he wanted to shower alone, that was fine, but don't tease a man like this. It's just mean.

'Ah, but there is a rule in this bathroom,' Deidara spoke up, his voice having a strange echo as it bounced back of the tiled wall. 'You can only enter when you are completely naked.' That caught my attention immediately. Naked, huh? I wouldn't have to be told that again. Quickly I discarded myself of my clothes, throwing them back towards the bed, but not looking if it actually landed on there. I was only focused on getting inside. To hear the lock be taken off the door, so I could step in and see Deidara in his fully glory. 'If you're naked, knock on the door again.'

So I did, stripping myself of my boxers and then the lock turned. I took a moment to breathe, because this was going to be a next step. Seeing Deidara fully naked and wet, standing under the shower beam. It must be a magnificent sight. Pushing the door open I was even more amazed than I had expected. Deidara was already in the shower, letting the water cascade down his back. His long blond hair stuck to his face and his back, covering up the little tattoo on his shoulder. Right where his hair stopped, his round ass came to form, the water easily sliding over it down his lean legs to disappear inside the ground. I needed another breath to actually make me move forward.

Blue eyes peeked through sticky blond hair over at me. The smirk I expected on his face wasn't there and I realised this must still be quite frightening for him. This was the first time he saw me fully naked or any man for that matter and now he also had to touch that man or at least that was a silent promise he had made before. Would he be too afraid and end up chickening out? Slowly his eyes moved down and glanced a little longer at my still flaccid dick, before snapping his eyes back up to my face. He didn't say a word. Just stepped to the side to signal me over and join him inside the stall. For now I had permission to continue.

Stepping inside I realised this stall was way too small for two people. Instantly my chest was firmly pressed against his back, my genitals touching his butt slightly. Deidara still didn't comment and didn't shift away from me, so I assumed it was still alright. He must understand that I couldn't help it and I didn't mind really anyway. Being intimate with Deidara was something I had longed for, for a very long time already.

Carefully I let my hands slide across his waist and held him there, my arms wrapped around his form. Immediately one of his hands shot up and I anticipated on being pushed away, but instead he grabbed my hand and just held it. With a deep sigh he let his body lean backwards and settled himself against my chest, completely surrendering to me. It was an odd sensation and I wasn't sure what to do now, except for continuing holding him.

Thankfully Deidara broke the silence that had settled between us, making me understand what would actually be happening. 'I'm trying to find the courage to touch you this time and return the favour,' he murmured, his eyes closed as the water sprayed between our bodies, keeping us both warm.

'Okay,' I muttered in reply, leaning my head on his shoulder to see his face better. 'But I don't mind being the one to lead.'

Deidara immediately started moving, the hand in my hand effectively pushing my arms off his waist and turning around to face me. His blue eyes stared in mine for a while, his rosy lips opening a few times as he contemplated his words. Then he started leaning forward and I wasn't sure if he was moving in for a kiss or not. 'I know,' he whispered softly, his lips coming dangerously close now. 'But I rather explore peacefully while you just stand there and relax. So you keep your hands to yourself while I touch you.' Then he grabbed the soap bottle from behind me, it having stand balancing on the faucet next to the shampoo and conditioner Deidara used for his hair.

Lathering up the soap between his hands he then let them slide over my chest first. He was being very thorough as his hands slipped in every dip and curve he could find, earnestly exploring my body as he had wished to do. And all I could do was stand there and tremble when his hands creeped to close to certain places. My abdomen was one of them and of course he lingered longer there, watching all my reactions to his touches. I was hardening already and it worsened when his hands slid up my inner thighs, effectively pulling a groan from my lips.

I had closed my eyes along the way, too focused on all his touches to be able to watch him as well, so feeling his body suddenly completely pressed against mine, including his erection against my thigh, came as quite a surprise. When I opened my eyes I looked down into those bright blue orbs, eyes half lidded as they stared back at me. A heated kiss followed with Deidara pressed against the side wall, our tongues dancing together while our hands tried to touch every place they could reach. Our erections brushed together when either one of us thrust our hips forward, making us both let out a groan while we broke apart to breath. This was all so different from what I was used to. All we had done was touch each other's skin and I already felt like coming undone.

A hand was wrapped around my erection, giving it a soft experimental stroke. Feeling the shiver coming up I rested my head on Deidara's shoulder and tried to keep my breathing steady. When Deidara halted his touches I moved my hips forward lightly, encouraging him to please continue, because I needed him to touch me. His hand started moving again, squeezing my length lightly at the base and then sliding his thumb over the head in a teasing manner. I let out another groan, wanting him to continue.

I needed to touch him too, make him feel what I was feeling as his hand kept moving up and down, using all kinds of tricks he had probably once tested out on himself. A sudden harsher tug in the middle to keep me off balance or a sudden touch to the sensitive part at the bottom of the head. He knew it all. Blindly I grabbed for his ass cheeks and gave them a squeeze, pulling them apart. At first he moved away slightly, surprised by the sudden touch. My dick was also grabbed a little harder, making me grit my teeth, but then he settled into the touch, letting me kneed the soft supple flesh as he let out soft sighs of enjoyment.

When he had enough his free hand was placed against my chest and he pushed me backwards, turning our positions around as Deidara know pressed me against the wall. Giving in I leaned my head against the cold tiles, my breathing coming out in harsh gasps. All the while his hand kept stroking my cock, giving it all the attention it needed. And then he started distracting me by kissing and nibbling on my neck, sucking on a place effectively to mark me. I let out a shuddering breath when his thumb dipped into the slid of my length for a second. My mind couldn't keep up with all he was doing. Deidara had now descended down to my chest and was lazily rolling his tongue around my nipple, hardening the little nub with little effort. God, why hadn't we done this before?

And Deidara was still moving lower and lower, kissing a path down my stomach to my abdomen, getting closer and closer. My groans came out in broken cries and I could feel my orgasm creeping closer already, but I couldn't let it hit me yet. Then without warning Deidara wrapped his lips around the head and I couldn't breathe. My hand shot up to his head and grabbed his hair tightly. All this and he wasn't even moving yet. Just had those perfectly rosy lips wrapped around the head of my cock.

Letting my eyes slide down to him our eyes locked again, Deidara trying to measure if he was doing a good job. I shivered visibly, biting my lip to keep in a few more groans that were ready to be spilled. Sucking only lightly, trying to figure out how this was supposed to go, he made me groan out again and again. I wouldn't last long, not at all. It had been too long and this was Deidara. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but now. This was all so different. Everything I felt was different. I couldn't describe it, but this was definitely what I wanted in life. To forever experience intimacy this way.

'Dei, I'm coming,' I managed to bring out in a restrained voice and his eyed widened for a second, surprised by how quick I was. But he didn't stop. Just kept on sucking and moving his lips up and down a little. It wasn't the best blow job I ever had, but it was definitely the hardest an orgasm has ever hit me. Crying out I left my lips parted, letting him suck my erection until it was too sensitive to be touched more.

Hearing him spit I knew he wasn't too happy with the taste. There were only a few that were. It made me smile tiredly as I heavily leaned back against the wall, waiting for him to join me there as well.

Slowly Deidara came back up in a standing position and took a big gulp of water, cleansing the taste from his mouth. I realised my body was freezing, skin full of goose bumps, because we hadn't really been making use of the water. Not even all the soap had been washed off of me. Deidara turned back to me with a disgusted look on his face. 'Okay, the ending was not pleasant,' he commented, making me snort in reply. 'But the rest was in a way kind of fun.' He immediately chirped up, smiling happily my way before he settled in my exhausted arms.

'I would say it was more than fun,' I breathed out in reply, nuzzling his blond hair a little while I let my hand creep lower and lower. He wasn't even paying attention to it, but I was raised well and knew I always needed to return the favour. These cases also counted in my mind.

Reaching between our bodies I let my fingers brush against his hard length, it twitching immediately as Deidara gasped out, clearly not having expected that. I let a smirk grace my lips as I continued, first teasing his balls a little as I gave them a soft treatment and then I moved back up, letting my fingers slide all the way up his length until they reached the head. His erection was flushed a deep red, showing clear signs of needing release.

Finally I wrapped my hands around his girth and gave it a hard stroke, making Deidara lean even more into me as he lost his balance. He shivered while slowly leaning up towards me to eventually latch his lips onto mine. He wasted no time and immediately pushed his tongue inside my mouth, rolling it around mine slowly. His nails were digging into my shoulders while he kept his arms around my neck and I tried my best to only focus on pumping his erection. Doing all the little tricks he did to me and some of my own to try and please him as best as I could. I increased the pace a little, making him moan into the kiss, but he never broke it.

The faster the tongue rolled in my mouth, the faster I pumped and eventually I just kept increasing the pace until my movements had become erratic. Deidara was gritting his teeth now, the kiss now only a press of the lips against mine, all to keep in the harsh sounds he was about to let out. He had muttered out a 'fuck,' but the cries stayed out. In my hand his cock twitched again and I knew it wouldn't be long now.

A few more strokes was all he needed as Deidara came all over my hand, moaning one last moan against my lips before finally breaking the kiss to breathe. Stroking a few more times to really make him ride out his orgasm I watched him shudder with every move. After Deidara had finally had enough I released his softening length and pushed my hand under the steady stream of water, noticing it had gone cold by now. So much for washing up.

After the cold really got to us we quickly got out and dried each other off, relishing in the intimacy we had just experienced. Something had now definitely changed between us and it was all for the better. Stumbling out of the bathroom still holding onto each other, Deidara flopped down on his bed and for a while I lied next to him, simply enjoying this sweet moment before going back to reality and all the problems that lingered there, waiting for me.

Even if I could've stayed there forever, eventually it was time for Deidara to get ready for work. Dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, very tightfitting around his legs and a plain white t-shirt above Deidara looked incredible. But I guess Deidara always looked amazing in my eyes. I was now getting a raised eyebrow for staring too obviously and I knew I had to leave. Deidara wanted me out, which was understandable. Why was parting always so hard?

Ushering me to the door Deidara was making it very clear that I had to go, right now. So I stepped out as he held it open for me, rolling my eyes at his impatience and then as I turned around to get my goodbye kiss I caught him staring at me with this soft smile on his lips, his head leaning against the side of the door, showing me only half his face now. He almost looked innocent and shy like that.

Raising an eyebrow now I asked, 'what?'

A shrug was initially his only reply, but then his mouth started speaking anyway, granting me another one of those soft smiles. 'Nothing, just happy,' he murmured as he slowly averted his eyes from my face.

A bit taken aback I suddenly found myself overwhelmed with this new feeling, the need to stay longer growing even more intense. I looked away for a second, but had to look back, had to see his face again. And then right before I stalked off, leaving him standing in the doorway flabbergasted, I uttered three words I had never said before.

'I love you, Dei.'


	14. Little Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi has a meaningful conversation with his little brother, who has something to confess.

After getting home my mind was nowhere prepared for actually getting any work done. So instead I chose to not do anything and simply browse the web, waste time that way. The little revelation I had right outside of the door had quite possibly turned my world upside down, though I wouldn't make it to be that drastic. I hadn't heard from Deidara yet and I wasn't sure what to think of that either. Would he be angry? Had I said it too soon? Yes, I could answer that last question by myself. A definite yes. We had just made up in the best way we could, mind you, but that didn't mean it was appropriate to say something like that. If I would think of my own reaction to that, I would've made a run for it, if it had been anyone other than Deidara of course. Now, I couldn't be sure. My heart fluttered at the thought of him loving me.

After a glance at the clock I knew Deidara would be getting out of work in two hours. This could go two ways. Either he'd call me right away, finally having the time to do so and he also had the time during work to really think about what to say. Another possibility is he isn't going to call me at all and that would be my answer. It would've been way too soon and I had completely ruined my chances. All I could do was actually wait for it to happen.

Checking my email one last time, because certainly after refreshing it five times something just had to pop up, I finally gave up. With a sigh I leaned backwards in my chair, it groaning under my weight. And right at that moment my door slammed open harshly, announcing someone's entrance into my room. It seems the boredom would be over soon then.

After closing the door suspiciously softly Sasuke walked over to my bed and sat down on it, swinging his feet back and forth as if he was some kind of innocent little kid. This was not normal. Turning my chair towards him I curiously cocking my head to the side, but there was still no reaction to the fact I was present, inside my own room. Little brat.

Acting as if nothing unusual was happening I casually said, 'what's up?' When showing you cared too much, Sasuke usually froze or got angry at you for even considering something might be wrong. And my door was slammed enough with today. The dent in the wall was enough of a sign of that. Why he had to treat this innocent piece of wood in such a horrid way was a mystery to me. It was his way of instantly getting the attention. Maybe his way of picking up girls as well?

'Hn,' was his answer.

That was not getting us anywhere and if he was going to be like that, then I wouldn't put any extra effort into it either. 'Alright,' I replied, turning back towards my computer and refreshing my email just once more, because maybe there was something now.

A loud say then left Sasuke's lips, making it extra obvious that something was off and then he wanted all attention focused on him.

Mimicking his sigh I glanced over my shoulder at Sasuke, seeing him glare slightly at me. Of course I was unfazed by this. 'Just spill it, Sasuke,' I countered, trying to move this conversation along, as far as it was an actual conversation. It was so far pretty one-sided since Sasuke hadn't said a word yet.

Surprisingly he did spill it then, blurting out his words in a rush. 'I kissed Naruto.'

Well, this was interesting. He had actually kissed the boy he was going off about last time he was in here, ranting about things. Slowly I turned to face him again and saw him with his face buried in his hands, embarrassment flushing his ears red. Father would be ecstatic to hear this. Both his sons now attracted to men. Well, if this was not just a onetime thing for Sasuke, of course. Maybe he would treat his men the same way as his women and then father would not care at all.

'Any reason why you suddenly had a change of heart and decided to kiss him?' I asked casually, trying to not make a big deal out of this. No need to stress him out even more.

'He just wouldn't shut up! He was just talking and talking and talking about god knows what. First I wanted to slap him, but I knew he would just start whining as to why I had done it. The only other idea I had was kissing him and it actually helped!' He exclaimed exasperated. It seems like a logical option, when you were in a relationship with someone or really seriously interested in the other. Otherwise it was just odd to kiss someone to shut them up.

Trying to keep my face void of any emotion I asked the next question, not wanting to comment on what he had said. Could only make him feel worse. 'Then what happened?'

His initial response was fidgeting with his sleeve and averting my gaze at any costs. This told me more had happened after that, which was interesting. Sasuke went from hating the kid's guts to actually being attracted to him quite quickly. Or he had been attracted to the guy much longer than this. Had he been attracted to guys more often and never told me? Somewhere that would be a little insulting, but also unlikely since Sasuke told me everything. The fact he stormed into my room to let me know about this kiss was a clue enough.

'I can't help you unless you talk,' I said pointedly, giving him a knowing look. Soon Sasuke would crack and then finally we could get this to go somewhere.

'Okay, okay. I'll talk.' And there was the crack. 'After I ended the first kiss I realized I had actually liked it, so I kissed him again. To which he responded eagerly and before I knew it, we were both naked.'

Naked?! My little brother just found out he might be attracted to guys and immediately gets naked with one? 'Did you have sex?' I asked unbelievably. This can't be happening. He was not making me his role model, right? Because I was doing a lot better now and Dei and I still didn't have sex, which was more Deidara's doing than mine. Maybe I should not point this all out. But naked! And he only gazed away again with this innocent expression on his face? 'You did?!'

Sasuke rolled his eyes at that, as if he hadn't just tricked me into thinking that. 'No, of course not. He just gave me a blow job and it was the best one I ever had.' His eyes glazed over as he remembered the occurrence of earlier that day. Until he realised I was still in the room. 'Make me stop thinking about him, Itachi,' he desperately called my way.

'Why would you want to stop thinking about him if he gave you your best head ever? I don't see the problem here.' Another trick to make him spill his problem, because now we were getting to the real point. It troubled Sasuke that he actually had enjoyed the moment and still enjoyed thinking about it.

Standing up Sasuke moved towards me and grabbed my hands, shaking them excessively as if it would make his point come across better. 'You don't understand. I can't be gay. The whole school will be mocking me, laughing at me. I'm the one every girl wants and then I come out like this? And what about father!'

'I never said you were gay, Sasuke.'

Eyes widening in shock Sasuke realised what he had just said and what that meant. Maybe he hadn't even really thought of it before, but now he had used the word gay. Not bi like I usually did. Had he known all along then? Had he always been attracted to men and had he slept around so much with girls to cover it up? To convince himself he wasn't really? Yes, it did come with a lot of problems since father still wasn't very accepting. He must've been very unhappy.

When his thoughts finally settled down Sasuke got this tired look over him. Crawling onto my lap he laid his head on my shoulder and let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes as he had done when we were little. It was not really a gesture we should be giving at our age, but I hugged him back nonetheless. Sometimes we could still be young. Sometimes we could still need to comfort of a sibling and know we are still loved, no matter what has happened.

'What am I going to do now?' he said softly, snuggling a little closer. He barely fitted anymore, his legs slipping off my lap.

Not a very easy question to answer, but he couldn't let this get him down completely. This thing didn't just have bad outcomes as far as I could tell. 'Just continue on with your life the way you want to live it. And if you really like this Naruto, then you better try and see if it works. No need to give it up just because of your reputation.'

'I hadn't even realised I liked him,' he muttered, his hand tightening in my shirt.

'Sometimes these little blond creatures just crawl into your life and become the most important thing in it.'

That made him look up at me with curious eyes, because now suddenly it dawned on him that I had my own blond to deal with as well. Of course I had no problems anymore, but Sasuke wasn't aware of this yet. 'How is everything going with your blond?'

Thinking of Deidara an easy smile slipped onto my face. How could it not? Since I apparently loved him and all. Everything the guy did made my heart pound in my chest. 'We made up,' I breathed out, tightening my hold around Sasuke's frame a little. 'And I love him.'

Sasuke was about to simply look up at me, a smile having slipped onto his lips as well, until I announced my little revelation. The shock ran down his body and he actually managed to fall off my lap, landing hard on the wooden floor of my bedroom. First his mouth was agape, still completely flabbergasted by what I had just said. And then the biggest smile started appearing on his lips. Disregarding the fact he had even fallen pretty hard Sasuke stood up and gave me a tight hug. 'I can't believe you just said that,' he said excitedly before pushing himself back again to stare at my face. 'I'm so happy for you! You've never said that before about anyone!'

Burying my head in my hands I tried to hide the smile on my lips, the happiness sliding through my body and Sasuke's demeanour wasn't helping at all. 'I just… He's amazing. I can't even pinpoint exactly what it is, but I just know that he's special to me.' I let out a shaky breath, this all becoming more real for me as well. Absentmindedly I ruffled his hair as if he was still that little boy and he shot me an annoyed look, but didn't reply. 'Maybe we should go on a double date. Then you can meet Deidara and I can meet the boy that changed my little brother in a gay man,' I teased.

A blush spread on his cheeks, but he didn't say anything, keeping a cool composure as far as he could. Sasuke was dealing quite well after our little talk and I hadn't even said that much. It must be a relief that he could talk about it at all. 'Alright, I'll ask Naruto if he would like that.'

'You think he would be okay with that already?' I asked with a raised eyebrow. They weren't even dating yet and had only shared that one intimate moment, so maybe he was getting a bit ahead of himself.

The smirk that spread on his lips told another story though. 'He already asked me out,' he announced cockily before remembering something else. His voice turned a lot softer and again he couldn't meet my eyes. 'And I had said yes already,' he murmured. Such a softy. He liked the fact that he was liked of course, but saying yes immediately stood for something else as well. This Naruto was special. Then he turned towards the door and started making his way out already, signalling this conversation was over. Opening the door on only a crack he peeked out, making sure no one was out there and had been listening in. When he regarded the coast clear, he turned towards me and whispered, 'don't tell father.'

'Same goes for you,' I whispered in reply.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi and Deidara have a double date with Sasuke and Naruto and the couples get to know each other a little better.

Considering Sasuke had only just discovered he liked this Naruto kid, the double date was planned fairly quickly. I hadn't expected it would actually happen so soon, but here Deidara and I were, sitting inside the small lunchroom in town, by the window in a booth with white leather seats. They were nice seats as we had experienced for half an hour already. The staff was also very friendly, making sure we got a nice cup of coffee with all kinds of sweet stuff added to it. It's not like we really wanted to pay attention to this, but the lovely couple was running late and after giving Sasuke a call, I really didn't want to know why. As long as they would hurry up, because Deidara and I could also be doing other things than this.

It was still nice to share this moment with Deidara. He hadn't properly met my younger brother either and Sasuke was important to me, even if he was a spoiled brat from time to time. So the two running late was also cutting into our time together. I wanted Sasuke to meet Deidara as well and see how wonderful he was, just like I wanted to meet Naruto and see what the energetic kid was like.

Deidara was staring out the window, looking at the people passing by with a light smile gracing his lips. His eyes moved from person to person, his eyes betraying the thoughts behind everything. The little twinkle when a happy couple skipped by, laughing and joking with each other. The slight narrowing of them whenever he judged someone for what they wore or for what they did. He would never comment on it out loud, but he would judge, as any other person would as well.

Catching his chin between my fingers I turned his head towards me and the light twinkle was right back into those striking blue eyes. Softly I brushed a long blond lock to the side, revealing both blue orbs. Moving forward I lingered right in front of his lips, my breath ghosting over his face. A smirk was already creeping up on my lips as I kept hovering in front of him. 'Stop teasing,' he breathed out, his smile a little wider now and of course I could not deny him then. Capturing his lips into a kiss I instantly let my tongue slide out, letting it play with the lip ring before moving in further.

The kiss progressed further, tongues dancing and teeth nibbling on bottom lips from time to time and I had just decided spending my lunch time like this wasn't so bad, until someone suddenly decided to speak up.

'That's kind of hot.' Never had we noticed two people sliding into the booth across from us, so we practically jumped apart when the words were spoken, looking utterly confused at the two young boys. Deidara's hands were still grasping my collar and my hands were still circled around his waist, intending to make their way further down.

A stump was given to the blond boy, he immediately wincing at the impact. 'Shut up, loser,' came the sharp reply and Sasuke was sending a harsh glare the blond's way. Slowly my eyes settled on Naruto, Sasuke's loser. His hair was cut in a short messy do, sort of kept together with a bit of hair product. His clothes were… not that fashionable, but the guy didn't seem to care much. A nice tan to his skin and striking blue eyes as well, perhaps a little lighter than Deidara's were. His cheeks were a bit rosy and his lips were swollen slightly, sending another thought through my brain. I really did not want to know what those had been up to before they had gotten here. Especially since Sasuke wore a slight blush as well.

'You're right, Itachi. Deidara is really pretty,' Sasuke commented, lazily leaning his head on a hand as his gaze was fixated on Deidara. As I looked at the blond beside me I saw an eyebrow raised at Sasuke's words, Deidara clearly not being all too happy about being called pretty.

Turning my gaze back towards Naruto I decided to answer properly as well, making sure Sasuke got the hint. 'Naruto's appearance now really matches with what you told me last time. I see why you like him.' I immediately got a kick delivered to my shin and Deidara send a smirk my way, understanding what I was talking about. Naruto on the other hand only looked at me dumbly, having no clue what that exactly meant. Little dirty boy had done dirty things to my little brother and it was noticeable.

Now Deidara decided to get mixed in the conversation as well. Under the table his hand reached for mine and he simply held it right there. This little sign made my heart beat a little faster. 'Sasuke is really cute,' he murmured. 'Kind of like a mini version of you.'

Sasuke's glare was instantly now moved towards Deidara, who only smirked lightly while Naruto was laughing his ass off across the table. This earned him another smack against the arm.

To break the sudden silence Deidara released me and clapped both hands together happily, a sweet smile on his lips as if he had not just teased Sasuke a little. 'Now since everyone is here, let's order some food. I'm starving and I heard Itachi is paying.'

Immediately I turned towards Deidara, sending him a confused look, because that was what not we had discussed. We had not discussed payment at all. I pricked him in his side, only making him grin wider as he jumped out of the way. 'And when did you hear about that?' I shot back.

Composing his smile Deidara put on a serious face while glancing back at me. 'I just said it, didn't I?' And right then Naruto burst into a laughing fit again, which at first was okay, but the longer he laughed, the more awkward it got. A simple mind it seems, but as long as Sasuke likes him. That was the most important thing.

Hiding his face behind his menu Sasuke decided to comment on Naruto's laughter. 'He's not very bright and thinks the simplest things are extremely funny. He can't help he's a bit of a loser and he's still hot,' he said evenly, his dark eyes sliding from one side to the other to pick out something to eat and that way also agreeing with me paying.

The laughter instantly died down as Naruto turned to look at Sasuke, looking insulted at first. 'Hey!' he called out a bit too loud for the lunchroom they were in and then a smile formed on his lips, shooting Sasuke a dreamy look. 'You think I am hot?' Of course that was what Naruto would focus on. Not the fact that Sasuke had again called him a loser and also had hinted at him not being smart at all. I would not be so happy if someone had said that about me.

Not wanting to get mixed into this conversation Deidara and I picked up a menu while Sasuke shot an annoyed look towards Naruto, because of course he thought Naruto was hot. 'You're not eating ramen,' was the only thing Sasuke commented with, immediately wiping the dreamy look from Naruto's face. This was actually really sweet to look at. The way they interacted like this as if they had been dating for far longer than this. With a sigh Naruto picked up his menu, really not happy with needing to choose another dish to eat.

Silence settled between us again after we had ordered. Deidara's eyes were turned outside again, his eyes following people as they walked by. Sasuke and Naruto were quietly talking to each other, Naruto smiling brightly while the corners of Sasuke's lips were only slightly turned up right, but that was a sign enough for me. Someone who could make Sasuke smile, even if it was only a small smile, was perfect for my little brother. There was almost no one who managed it, except for perhaps me from time to time, so Naruto who managed it so easily was special. It was nice to see.

Turning towards Deidara again I grabbed him by the hip and scooted him over towards me. He glanced up at me for a second, eyebrow raised at the sudden movement and when I let my gaze move back towards the couple, Deidara glanced with me. An easy smile slipped on his lips at the sight and he snuggled a little closer to me, his back pressed against my chest. 'Do you think we look that cute together?' he murmured, so only I could hear.

Before I could answer though the waitress appeared and started handing out our plates with lunch. She hadn't even set everything down yet or Deidara had already started attacking his, stuffing a club sandwich in his mouth like it was nothing and they do stack three slices of toast onto each other for those things. Seeing the confused looks on both teenagers as well I slid a hand over Deidara's shoulder and pulled him in a little. 'If you keep eating like that, you'll choke on it,' I muttered and then gave him another long look. 'Something wrong?'

Deidara actually halted then, neatly placing the sandwich back onto the plate. His eyes were avoiding mine and he looked anywhere but my face. It was perhaps not the right time to talk about it, though I had no clue what was going on. This was a strange sign though. Why would he be so hungry?

'I didn't have any breakfast,' he said softly.

Glancing over at Sasuke and Naruto for a second and saw they were both focusing solely on their food, politely avoiding our conversation. At least they had learned manners. Well, Sasuke had. I couldn't be sure of Naruto of course. Still this was unsettling news. Deidara was already quite skinny and skipping meals was not something anyone should do. Leaning forward again I made sure this conversation stayed private, just for the two of us. 'Why didn't you have breakfast?'

Blue eyes slid up towards the two teenagers as well and saw the same thing I did, so Deidara decided it was safe enough to speak. 'I didn't have enough money for it. I'm trying to only buy the necessities and breakfast wasn't part of that today,' he whispered harshly and now I also understood why he wanted me to pay for lunch. He wouldn't have been able to afford it and that made this a whole lot worse. Not good for his pride either. He was independent. The way he lived on his own and pays every bill by himself.

'I thought you were doing okay money-wise.' I tried to keep the worry out of my voice, but at this point I couldn't.

Lips were pulled up in an annoyed sneer as soon as I had said it and Deidara shot me a sharp look. 'Apparently Sasori was giving me his part of the tips, but he doesn't really like me anymore. At the end of the week I'm a little tight now.'

He was trying to make it seem less of a problem than it really was. It wasn't just a little tight. Not being able to buy food was serious business. He couldn't just wipe it off the table and let it rot somewhere. But I couldn't simply say I would pay for him or say that I would help him out in other ways. Deidara wasn't that easy in these things. 'What are you eating tonight?' But perhaps I could trick him.

'I still have some canned soup,' he answered casually, leaning back in his seat on the booth as he glanced over at the teenagers. They were now peeking glances at us, but didn't ask anything, keeping their mouths filled with food at all times.

Canned soup was nothing though. Someone could not simply live on canned soup, though I had never tried it. There were probably people out there who did. But Deidara deserved more than that. 'I can take you out for dinner?' I offered first.

A heated glare was then sent my way and I knew I was not doing a good job at convincing him so far. 'I'm fine, Itachi,' he gritted out. 'Just let it go.'

'Is everything alright?' Naruto suddenly spoke up, his patience having run out now. Apparently he didn't have the same manners as Sasuke and I did. Sasuke was already giving him an incredulous look from his side. But Naruto was unfazed by it and perhaps it was a good thing. Now that we knew were very aware of them being there and seeing more than we initially thought, the moods would cool down. We wouldn't cause a fuss with people actually watching us.

Deidara turned away from me then, folding his napkin neatly onto the table and putting all his energy into it before speaking up. 'We're fine. No need to worry.'

Feeling dark eyes on me I glanced over at Sasuke and from the look he was giving me, I knew he had heard everything. I didn't know how to respond to it though, because what could I honestly say? Sasuke would understand my worrying, but he didn't fully know what Deidara's living arrangements were now or what kind of job he had. Sasuke didn't really know anything except that I was crazy about the guy beside me.

But Sasuke then did something very unexpected. He tugged at Naruto's sleeve, whom only shot him a raised eyebrow. Naruto had not really seen any exchange between my little brother and I, too oblivious to it. 'Naruto, since you made us late for today's lunch, I think we owe it to Itachi and Deidara to make this date a little longer. We're going to the amusement park and we're paying.' And that was how Sasuke showed he was the one wearing the pants in this relationship.

At first Naruto wanted to protest, mostly at the whole making them late part. I really did not want to know, honestly. There are things a brother should not know about his little brother. This was part of that. But then he realised what else Sasuke had said. 'We're going to ride all the rollercoasters then and I want to eat three hotdogs. No complaining.' And now it seemed Naruto was in charge. This was an odd relationship.

'Fine, whatever,' Sasuke replied in a bored tone, shrugging at all of Naruto's suggestions, who was now smiling widely. A thrill seeker he was.

Too stunned to really say anything Deidara just gazed at the two teenagers and then shot me a confused look as well, unsure what to even think of this. I took over Sasuke's motion and shrugged as well, acting as if I didn't know what had just happened. Better keep it to myself and not bruise Deidara's pride any further. It was better this way.

As the two lovers argued now over how much cotton candy Naruto could eat, I leaned forward to Deidara again, making very sure only he heard it this time. Bringing my lips right up to his ear, I whispered, 'if you don't mind, I'd like to sleep over at your place afterwards.'

Slowly blue eyes slid up towards me and the almost shy smile on his lips caught me off guard. The question that ran through my mind every time I saw Deidara alone was, what would happen this time? How far are we going to go?

'I'd like that,' he whispered back.


	16. Deidara's First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title says it all!

After a very long, long day at the amusement park we finally made it back to Deidara's place. Naruto had not been kidding when talking about riding every rollercoaster and most were ridden even two or three times when he thoroughly enjoyed himself screaming his lungs out while bracing against the seats that really did not look as safe as they make it out to be. It was tiring. Naruto had been tiring. All this energy buzzing off of him and all the things he ate didn't help either. He was just adding more and more to his already energetic vibe. At least Sasuke had seemed to enjoy himself, feeding off of Naruto's energy as he rode almost every attraction with him. But dear lord, I wanted to shoot myself at some point.

It seemed Deidara was just as tired as I was after that day, but we had no right to complain. As promised the two boys had paid for everything and Sasuke had made sure Deidara had eaten enough as well, going out of his way to even get him some extra fries.

Taking several tries in stabbing the key into the lock Deidara finally managed to open it, the door swinging open and bouncing off the counter of the kitchen. Dragging his feet inside the apartment he just threw the stuff he had brought down on the kitchen table. With a slight pause in my step I eventually followed him inside, wondering if Deidara really was okay, but I was still invited in, so he was not too exhausted to hang out at least.

For a moment I turned away, hanging my coat on the coatrack by the door. Perhaps I should've realised the soft thumping of Deidara's feet had stopped as he had walked, but I was so out of it that I simply turned back around to face the rest of the apartment and before I really understood what was going on, my lips were captured in a heated kiss.

Grabbing Deidara by the shoulders I pushed him away for a moment, steadying him inside my grip as he swayed from left to right. His eyes were already half lidded, but if it was due to tiredness or due other reasons, I wasn't sure. Still his sudden attack had surprised me and I didn't know what his intentions were.

'What are you doing?' I breathed out, making sure to keep him at arm's length still.

It was then that Deidara stood on his own again, taking a step back. 'Don't ruin the moment now. I found some courage and don't want to lose it while you question my motives. Just roll with it. It's not like you won't enjoy where I am going with this.' The grin was eventually what pulled me in. Which told me he wasn't kidding, not even the slightest. The little blond had big plans it seemed and who was I to not go along with it?

With a little less force Deidara stepped forward again as soon as I lowered my arms, giving him permission to continue his ministrations. Arms circled around my neck and soon lips were right back on mine, a soft press of the lip ring against my bottom lip. A light pull on my neck told me to move forward, Deidara leading me towards the single bed at the book of the room. I didn't expect to be pushed onto the bed as soon we reached it, nor did I think Deidara would have the guts to climb on top of me as he started to undo the buttons of my shirt.

My heart was beating somewhere in the back of my throat when I helped along by sitting up, Deidara practically ripping the shirt of my arms before casting it aside. I wasn't sitting for long though, with a harsh pushed against my chest soon flat on the mattress again. Everything was done his way now and I wasn't about to resist. It might just kill his entire motivation and I was still very happy with where this was going.

While one hand started sliding over my bare skin on my chest, remembering every dip and curve along the way, the other occupied itself with pulling out my hair tie, letting my long locks fall free. Fingers raking through it Deidara created a path down my neck and towards my chest, both thumbs now circling lightly around my nipples. For someone who hadn't done this before, Deidara knew exactly what he was doing it seemed. Maybe he had done some research on the internet? Let's not think about that right now.

A peck on my lips drew my attention back to the whole of Deidara and not just his fingers and then he slowly kissed his way down over my chin and down my neck. On my collarbone he stopped, sucking long enough to leave a mark and force a sigh from my lips.

Now I couldn't just lay there and stay still anymore. So I let my hands travel down his back, following the natural line of his body and then up the curve of his butt. Right after cupping each cheek in a hand I gave him a squeeze, in response feeling a shaky breath released over my skin where his lips still were.

There was a sudden hesitation in his movements, because now Deidara had to move further down if he really wanted to get along with it. Taking on a dominant role when never having done this was not the smartest move, so without making much of a hassle I let my hands slide down from his ass to his hips and turned us around, effectively reversing our roles.

Wide blue eyes were staring up at me, shocked by what had just happened, but as soon as I went in for another kiss I could feel Deidara's body relax under me. Surrendering was sometimes far easier. 'If I am going too fast or I do something you don't want me to, just let me know,' I whispered into his ear before pecking him softly in the neck, his long hair tickling my nose in the process.

A nod was his only reply, so I just continued with where Deidara had left off, which was undressing. Lifting him off the mattress slightly I used my other hand to get his shirt off, with his help as well of course. Softly I laid him back down and leaned in for a kiss. It was soft and sweet and exactly the mood I wanted this moment to have. It had to be special and not something we rushed into. We were no horny teenagers. Letting my tongue slip out I teased the little ring hanging from his lip, eventually latching my teeth onto it to give it a slight pull. A shiver ran down Deidara's body as he leaned into it, not wanting the pull to be too hard. Finally I let my tongue slip between his lips, moving it around his tongue and massaging his with my own. I could still faintly taste the cotton candy Deidara had eaten last at the amusement park.

When the kiss had taken long enough, meaning I was longing for something more than just a simply kiss, I released his lips and let mine slide a path down, teasing the sensitive skin beneath them. The way his body shivered when touching certain places was marvellous to discover. The junction between his neck and shoulder was a good place to let my tongue slip out for example, pulling another soft sigh from Deidara's lips as he turned his head to the side to give me more room. The next place I reached was his chest area, focused mostly on his nipples, which I circled with my tongue until the little nubs had hardened under my touch. But I was not low enough yet. With my tongue I created a wet path down Deidara's stomach. A chuckle rose up when I reached his bellybutton, which I then easily avoided. Didn't need that to ruin the mood now.

Reaching his jeans I let my tongue slide along the side of it. Getting up on his elbows Deidara shot me an expectant look, clearly not very nervous at all about what would be coming next. Meeting his gaze I let my hands undo his jeans, unbuttoning it first and then slowly sliding the zipper down. And then I gave it a yank to get the jeans to slide over Deidara's ass, but it would not give. Eventually I had to slowly shimmy it off his hips to even get it off at all, the material far too tight around Deidara's skinny legs.

After a lot of pulling I could finally toss them aside and let out a harsh sigh, glad that was over with. I wasted no time with taking off the boxers, flinging them to the side and leaving Deidara completely bare in front of me. His hands were twitching lightly, resisting the urge to cover himself, but I paid it no mind. I was too focused on his body, seeing it in its fully glory in front of me. In the shower I had seen him fully naked, but cramped inside a tiny shower stall does not provide you with a great image. This was better, far better.

Starting at Deidara's ankles I placed my hands flat on the surface and then slowly pushed them forward, sliding over the slightly tanned skin all the way up. Dipping them inside to tease his inner thighs I saw another shiver run through his body, his leg twitching as it wasn't sure if it should move to the side to give me more room or move closer towards the other leg to stop me from moving. Eventually my thumbs reached up and I let it graze his slightly hardened length, forcing a whimper off his lips. It was time to honestly make him feel good, make this foreplay last long enough and leave Deidara satisfied enough that he would actually still be willing to continue with this.

Traveling down the same path my left hand had just taken my lips followed suit, tongue slipping out to lick certain areas until I reached all the way up to his inner thighs. My nose was the first to bump into his erection, making him whimper once more. His eyes had grown a little darker as he was still looking down on me, watching every move I took. It made it all the more exciting, because I had to perform well now. It didn't just need to feel great, it also had to look the part.

Letting my tongue slide all the way up his length, flicking the flushed head before sliding back down again right till the base. I was teasing him and he knew it. The way his hips bucked up, asking for more attention already. Carefully I let my fingers slide under his length, lifting it up from his abdomen and bringing it closer to my lips. Looking up I could see his mouth was agape, completely focused on what was happening with his erection. Again I let my tongue slide around the head, making him whimper again and without wasting more time, I took the head between my lips and slowly slipped down around his cock.

Pushing my tongue flat against the back of Deidara's length I slid back up, wriggling it right at the edge of the head of his cock. Giving the head a harsh suck I was ready to move right back down, but a tap on my shoulder halted me in my movements. Gazing back up at him I found something dangling right in front of my face, instantly making me drop the erection from between my lips. At first I could only stare at it, unsure what I was supposed to do now, but as it stayed there, hanging right in front of me, I took it from Deidara's hold.

A slight blush was dusting his cheeks, but I wouldn't question it. It was already a big step and he was the one who initiated everything now. With a shaky breath he laid back down on the bed, gazing up at the ceiling, waiting for me to finally start.

Sliding a hand through my hair I took a moment to collect myself, prepare for what I was about to do. Shouldn't fall back in my old pattern now and only go for my own release. Deciding it was better to start by taking my jeans off first, giving us both an extra moment to let this all settle in. The room was completely silent as I dropped the heavy garment to the floor, but I made sure not to let it get to me. We both needed to relax. There was nothing scary about all this. It was us and we both wanted this, I assumed at least.

Crawling back on top of him I slowly pushed his legs apart, giving myself enough room to move between them. Bright blue eyes went up to my face and Deidara sucked in a deep breath. Right in his view I uncapped the bottle of lube, the one he had offered to me before, and squirted it onto my hand. Spreading it evenly over my fingers I made sure to keep my eyes locked with his, making sure he wasn't doubting this. If he wasn't sure if he wanted this, then it would hurt and I wanted to prevent that.

Bending forward I started kissing him again, right away pushing his leg up and more to the side. His body was a little tense when I moved my slicked hand down between his legs, but he kept on kissing back, determined to not let this moment fade away. Slipping between the two butt cheeks I let my finger circle the ring of muscles, another warning of what we were about to do.

Breaking the kiss I looked down into Deidara's eyes, seeing mixed emotions there. 'Still sure you want to go through with this?' I murmured, nuzzling his nose before leaning down for another peck.

'Yeah,' he breathed out, moving up to add another peck. And right after he said it I let the first finger slip through the ring of muscles, the puckered hole slowly giving way for the intrusion. A gasp left Deidara as he leaned his head back. The first time it's always an odd feeling and it was not different now. The walls clenched around my finger, trying to stop it from moving, but I pushed on. When I pulled the finger back Deidara's hands shot up and he grabbed onto my shoulders, his nails digging into my flesh. No comment left his lips though, so I didn't stop, pushing the finger in right away again. I kept this up a few times until I considered him used to the intrusion enough.

The second finger made Deidara groan and I couldn't be sure if it was out of pleasure or pain or perhaps even surprise. His legs parted further for me, making it easier to move the two fingers in and out, scissoring them whenever I had reached deep enough. My eyes were now glued to what I was doing, the sight of my fingers disappearing inside of Deidara giving me a whole new kind of thrill.

Latching my lips onto Deidara's neck I created a new mark, making more sounds bubble up from his throat. Deidara barely even noticed I brought in a third finger. His hips moved up a little into the movements, but as long as I kept on sucking on his neck, he did show any sign of being in pain. His walls started squeezing again, this time sucking my fingers further in instead of pushing them out. I wanted him, my own cock twitching between my legs, the need growing and growing the more I felt him react below me.

Carefully I started moving my fingers out, making him whine softly when they left him completely. It was time, so I aligned myself with the puckered hole, seeing it wink at me as Deidara shifted on the bed to accommodate to me. Pressing the head of my cock against it I realised I should check first and see if it really was okay. The hazed over blue eyes told me enough and the little bump back against my length was the last sign I needed.

Ever so slow I started pushing in, at times stopping when the arch of Deidara's back told me it was hurting a little. I would take my time, do this the right way. Deidara was important and screwing this up during the first time we had sex would be the most foolish thing I had ever done. Eventually I was completely inside, my length sheathed inside his hole. My balls were slightly pressed against his ass.

And experimental squeeze was given by those walls again and I let out a soft groan then, unable to really resist. This really felt amazing. It had been so long and Deidara was so incredibly tight, fitting so snuggly around my length. Dropping my head onto his shoulder I breathed in with harsh puffs. Arms circled around my neck and Deidara pulled me extra close, surprising me with his whispered words.

'I love you too.'

With another groan leaving me I finally pulled out. He loved me, he really loved me. Sliding out so far Deidara actually moved his hips down to make sure I stayed inside and that was also a good thing. God, I was so happy to share this with him, to feel him like this. So close, so intimate. Thrusting in again a groan finally also left Deidara, his eyes half lidded as they looked up at me. His lips stayed parted as I picked up a slow pace and then I just had to kiss him again. Instantly it turned sloppy, my mind unable to focus enough on what I was doing there.

I moved my hands down over Deidara's side, grabbing a hold of his hips and tilt them slightly forward. A much better angle for me this way and with the way he was fervently kissing me back, I was sure he was enjoying it as well.

Picking up the pace slightly I made sure to push my abdomen down enough, his erection firmly pressed between our bodies and feeling the friction with every thrust I delivered. The sounds coming from him turned a little louder, groan after groan trailing off his lips into my mouth. Our tongues danced around each other, trying to get closer to one another, even if that was not really possible.

Surprising me Deidara actually started to move along, pushing his hips down whenever I went up to thrust forward, sliding further into him every time. The walls clenched around me, squeezing so hard it made it hard to move at times. I wouldn't be long, certainly not. Breaking the kiss I granted myself a look of his face. Lips swollen red, his dark with pleasure and sweat making his hair stick to his face in odd ways.

Grabbing his neglected length between our bodies I started stroking his cock, trying to match the pace I had while thrusting inside of him, but being off just a little bit. The precum leaking from the tip made it easier to pump my head up and down, my thumb smearing it out over his length, swiping the as it moved along. It didn't take him long after that, his hips bucking up to move his cock further into my hand. Trashing his head back into the pillow he let out groan after groan and then as a final shiver ran through his entire body, Deidara came, shuddering as his seed was spilled all over his stomach.

Feeling his walls tighten around me I again knew I was creeping closer to my orgasm. I felt the heat coursing through my body, settling nicely inside my abdomen. With a few more thrusts, my pace becoming irregular, I finally released inside of him, drawing out a long groan.

Coming down from my high I glanced down at Deidara and felt a smile gracing my lips. There was an instant response from him, his smile even wider than mine. After sharing another final kiss I dropped myself down beside him, another whimper leaving him as my softening length slipped out of him.

I had no idea what to really think now, but I felt wonderful. This was far better than all the experiences I had before. Nothing could compete. It all seemed so meaningless now, all those one night stands. This was what I wanted for the rest of my life. Making love to Deidara.

Exhaustion truly taking over now Deidara cuddled up against me, grabbing the sheets from somewhere down by our feet and made himself comfortable. We didn't need to say anything. The moment had been enough.


	17. Helping Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi gets tricked into finally saying what he wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much just fluff and future plans

As the first rays of sunlight trickled in through the window I turn to lie on my back, but when I tried to pull my arm back, I found it stuck under something happy. Confused I blinked my eyes open and looked to the side, seeing a mop of blond hair spread out over the pillow. Right, I was not home, but in Deidara's apartment, on his bed, with my arm stuck under his back. Had I held him the entire night? My arm felt numb, but I couldn't pull it back, afraid of waking Deidara in the process. He was still sound asleep, his breathing so relaxed.

Moving back to lie on my side I snuggled closer to him again, pressing my lips softly against his cheek while wrapping my free arm around his waist. Deidara shifted slightly, slowly turning onto his side and moving his body even closer to mine. Folding my arms around him a little tighter now I accidentally bumped his nose against my shoulder, make him sniffle. Now I had woken him up anyway. Perhaps it was for the better though. A sleeping Deidara was sweet, but an awake Deidara held many more possibilities.

Blue eyes blinked a few times as Deidara finally decided it was time to give in and wake up. With a grunt he pushed himself out of my arms and finally rolled off of my numb one. Flexing my fingers I tried to get the blood to pump back into it and immediately it was as if little needles were pricking into the skin all over my arm. Deidara was hardly paying attention to what was happening, not a real morning person. Bringing his hands up he started rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, smudging the black eyeliner even further under his eyes, a big black smear now reaching all the way down to his cheek. Which reminded me of something else and it was getting quite painful now.

'Sorry, I have to take my lenses out,' I said, sitting up in the bed and rubbing my eyes much in the same way Deidara had done before. Not something you're supposed to do, but it did relief some of the pain.

Turning his head to face me Deidara blinked up at me for a second, looking kind of like a panda now. 'Did you bring your glasses?' he murmured, following me in sitting up as well.

First I only replied with a nod as I moved to get out of the bed and then added. 'Yeah, everything's in my bag. I usually don't forget them,' I muttered, feeling quite annoyed with myself. It really wasn't pleasant. As I moved towards the bathroom I heard Deidara swinging his legs over the side of the bed as well.

I had just taken out the first lens when Deidara joined me in the bathroom and handed me everything I needed. The container and the fluid to keep the lenses wet and clean. The first eye already felt a lot better like this, even if I couldn't make out any shapes with it now. As I was halfway with taking out the second lens, Deidara wrapped his arms around my waist and looked at what I was doing through the mirror. It didn't take me long since I was used to doing this, but having Deidara holding me didn't make it easier.

Splashing some water in my face I repeated the rubbing my eyes thing and it felt great to do so. Stupid lenses. I wish I didn't need them, but wearing glasses all the time wasn't great either. Deidara's arms left my waist and reached for the case that held my glasses. Opening the top he grabbed the sleek black frame and posed it onto my nose. 'I always thought they looked nice on you. Makes you look extra smart,' Deidara teased and then leaned up to peck me on the lips.

Then without another word Deidara shuffled his way out of the bathroom, clearly not fully awake as he let out a loud yawn, stretching his arms above his head. The thing I now obviously mostly paid attention to was the way his ass moved from left to right with each step, Deidara still being stark naked, just like I was.

It took me a moment to actually follow after Deidara, too mesmerized by the sight of the beautiful blond. But when I finally glanced around the corner to see where Deidara had run of to, I found out he was already back in bed, snuggled under the sheets and shooting me a sleepy smile. 'Come on, Ita. Get back to bed,' he murmured, shifting a little as if making room for me to get in as well. And why not? This was my last day off before classes started again. I would have far less time to spend with Deidara and would have fewer excuses to go behind my father's back as well. So I better make the best of it and enjoy every second of it.

In a few steps I reached the bed, but before I could climb in all by myself, Deidara grabbed my arm and pulled me down, forcing me to fall right on top of him. 'Watch it, nerd,' he said cheekily, grinning up at me once I had settled more comfortably on top of him.

'Nerd, huh?' I replied with a raised eyebrow. Not a very flattering comment I would say, but I would not give him the satisfaction of looking hurt.

A light shrug was Deidara's initial reply and then the grin was right back. 'You're a sexy nerd though.' Reaching up he pushed my glasses a little higher up on my face, his blue eyes carefully following the movements. 'I remember our first date, the accidental one, and you wore this tight shirt and sweatpants hanging a little too low on your hips. Adding your glasses to the equation, rawr.' And he actually growled at me. I must admit that was a really nice compliment. Especially since he described me in a not very flattering way. That first meet up really was not the best, was it?

'I wish I had known that back then,' I murmured, leaning down to give him a soft kiss on the tattoo behind his ear. 'Although that first kiss was nice enough.' My turn to tease and he didn't seem to mind at all as I moved my lips further down, kissing a path down his neck. Right until his stomach started to grumble, killing the mood a little bit. But if Deidara was hungry, he needed to eat. 'I think we should have some breakfast,' I then murmured, my voice still a little husky. I had been ready for a whole other mood.

Deidara visibly stiffened, so I carefully pushed myself away from his neck to glance down at him again, glasses crooked on my nose now. 'I don't have any food here,' he muttered, eyes averted down to the wall behind me in embarrassment.

'That's fine. We'll just go out and get some breakfast elsewhere.' Sliding a lock of hair back behind his ear. The tightening of his lips said he was not very happy with this proposition and he still wasn't looking at me. It wasn't as if we both could go on without food. I wanted breakfast as well and Deidara had to eat. He was skinny enough and I wanted to take care of him in every way possible. 'Something wrong?' I added anyway, forcing him to speak up and not bottle everything up inside.

Annoyed Deidara clacked his tongue and pushed me off, turning on his side to distance himself completely. 'I just… I should be able to take care of myself, being the independent one and all. I've lived on my own for years and now I can't afford my meals anymore. It just… sucks.'

Grabbing him by the shoulder I turned him to face me once more and kissed him softly on his kiss, making the frown soften slightly. 'I won't think less of you because of this,' I murmured. 'You are still very independent, but recognising your own needs is also a sign of independence. And I would rather take care of you then see you wither away on your own. Besides you do a lot for me as well.'

It stayed quiet for a moment, Deidara's eyes focused on my chest as he let the words sink in. 'It's a nice offer and all, but all I need is extra money and you don't work. The money you get comes from your family and I am sure they would notice money disappearing from their accounts.'

That was a good argument. One I hadn't thought of, because taking care of Deidara was much more important, but having Deidara in my live was even more important and if my father would find out about sending money to the blond. It would cause problems, problems I wasn't ready to face yet. 'I don't know. We could try selling some of my paintings?' I heard myself offer and thought it could be a good idea. It wouldn't be easy, but if I could use that money to pay for Deidara's meals, then it would be enough.

'You don't have the time to paint that much since you go to college. You'll be out in no time and I can't just let you give up your works,' he accused, sending me a sharp look. Why was he shooting down every idea so far? Yes, he was the voice of reason, but couldn't he look at this a little more positive. I was trying here! I just want everything to be okay between us. We moved from one problem into the next.

'Then I will quit college and paint all day. I will make enough paintings and I don't give a shit about selling them. We can see if an art gallery will take them on and see what happens then. You are way more important than those paintings.' It was strange to see Deidara's face so void of emotion, staring at me at me with those bright blue eyes. My breathing had turned deeper, but I just didn't know what else to offer. I had nothing.

Rosy lips parted again to speak, shooting down my idea instantly. 'Your father will never let you quit college.'

'Then I will just leave home!' I yelled finally, tired of the way Deidara was killing every idea I had.

Pushing a hand against my chest Deidara forced me to lie down on my back, crawling on top of me to sit on my hips. 'So you would be willing to leave the home you hate so much,' he said in a monotone, grabbing my chin to make me look deep into his blue eyes. It was then that I finally realised what I had said and what it truly meant. Would I leave? Yes, for Deidara I would and I should. Together we could do it, right? But it was frightening and I wasn't sure what to even say to that. 'I talked with Sasuke yesterday,' he started again. 'We both agreed that it's time for you to leave that place. He worries about you and I do too. I'm glad you finally realise as well that you don't belong there. We'll do this together, I promise.'

A shaky breath left my lips as I let everything sink in and when that soft smile appeared on Deidara's lips, telling me not to worry too much, I choked back a sob. What the hell was happening? Had they come up with this plan together? Had I walked right into it? But it was the right thing to do. I needed to do this, for myself.

It took me some time to actually let it all settle in and Deidara granted me the time to come up with the right reply. 'We need to plan everything out if we are really going to do this. My father needs to know last and everything needs to be arranged by then, so we have no way of him able to stop us. I need to drop second to last out of college, because they will call him once I do. We need a place to live, so I can move instantly and I need a job, so we can pay for everything.'

The smile grew widely on Deidara's lips as he glanced down at me and then as he hovered over me he leaned down and gave me a long soft kiss on the lips. 'That means we'll move in together and then you'll never get rid of me again.'

'What makes you think I had any intention of doing so?'

Taking a deep sigh Deidara kissed me again, deepening it a little now. 'Well, if that are not your intentions, then I think you should make love to me now,' he murmured against my lips and I could feel the grin forming as he spoke.

'Very well,' I replied and then indeed made love to him that morning. Breakfast could wait a little longer. We will just have brunch.


	18. Making Plans

Saying that my resolve on moving out was actually making me feel better was a mistake. Everything had become even more stressful now and the worst part was that I could not even show it. I went to class, hardly paying any attention to what was being told. It didn't matter anyway. Only a short while now and I would be out of here. All these business strategies would mean nothing then, though I might make use of them someday. Besides going to class I still found the time to study or fake study as my dad hovered over my shoulder, focusing on everything I was doing. And then in the few hours I had some time off, I painted.

Sleep, I didn't have time for that, even if Deidara didn't agree with that. Since I painted at his place, he forced me to stay over sometimes and then I had to sleep. Afterwards I dealt with the excuses I had to feed my father, who quite possibly had his suspicions already. Not that I could do much about that now. The deed was done, the plans were being made. The only thing left for me to do was actually get through the day at this point.

I was so tired.

Today was another useless day where I was trying to write a paper I would never actually hand in or at least wasn't planning to. But my father wanted to see it anyway, so I was forced to write it, do the proper research for it and make sure I read up on all of the sources I could possibly use. Hopefully I could avoid doing the interviews that were needed as well. Tiredly I slid a hand through my hair, pushing the loose hanging locks out of my face. My eyes hurt from the staring at the screen and my glasses suddenly felt very heavy on my nose.

_Slam!_

The welcoming sound of my little brother breaking the peace in my room. The dent in the wall would soon become a hole and then everyone could just simply peep into my room whenever they wanted to. Someone really should learn Sasuke how to open doors properly and tell him there are different ways to announce his entrance.

Glancing over my shoulder I saw Sasuke still standing in the doorway, arms crossed and an intense glare on his face as if I had done something wrong. His hair was mussed and there was still a slight flush to his cheeks. He had just gotten back from his "girlfriend's" house. Which was how he referred to Naruto to our parents. Better be safe than sorry.

'How are you doing?' he asked in a monotone, glare still right in place.

A check-up. Something Deidara would've done as well if he had been here, though I wouldn't keep it against those two if they actually were still concocting something behind my back. Texting about me whenever I wasn't with either one. Frail little Itachi was not doing so well with the recent stress. Could they really blame me though?

'Great,' I muttered, turning back towards the computer to blankly stare at the things I had written so far.

Seeing this as some kind of invitation Sasuke stepped inside, throwing the door closed behind him and flopped down on my bed as if it were his own. 'Well, you look awful,' he commented, brightening the mood instantly. Little brat. I decided not to reply to that, so Sasuke just continued on, his voice turning a little more hushed to keep this conversation as private as possible. 'How's the planning going?'

Taking my glasses off I rubbed my eyes, letting out a soft sigh as I leaned back in my desk chair. 'We're still working things out. Deidara has taken some time off, so he can really look around at some other options for us. I'm taking some money out of my savings for him to use, but that also cuts into our budget. Fortunately he has been able to find some buyers for my paintings, though it's not a big cash flow.'

'When are you leaving?'

For a moment I simply glanced at him and then rose out of my chair, flopping down right beside him on the edge of the bed, only to follow it up by lying down fully, staring up at the ceiling. 'Not sure yet. There is not enough money for me to move out yet. We need a secure income that can provide for us both. After that we'll look at an apartment and after that I'll be moving out.' His dark eyes studied my face for a moment before Sasuke lied down beside me as well.

'How long do you think it will take?'

'Honestly, I am actually not really sure,' I replied, a smile creeping up on my lips. That was quite horrible, wasn't it? 'Deidara is actually doing most of the working everything out. I'm just trying to keep on living in this house. I think he even went apartment hunting the other day.' I've seen some flats Deidara showed me on his computer, but that was pretty much it. I guess Deidara just didn't want to stress me out further, but I really should be paying more attention to what was happening around me. It was our life we were talking about here.

'He's a good boyfriend,' Sasuke murmured, turning to look at me again. It was times like these that he really looked the innocent little brother part. The one that could still ask for a hug and would appear vulnerable only for my eyes to see. And now perhaps Naruto as well.

Pinching Sasuke in his side as a tease and to use as an excuse to let an even wider smile to appear on my lips. 'Yes, he definitely is.'

* * *

Ending my day at Deidara's apartment again, after feeding my father a lie about needing to do a group project, I was now staring at the stack of paintings that had already dried and were ready to be sold. Was working under such pressure even a good idea? Somewhere behind me Deidara was sitting on his bed, scrolling on his laptop through various apartments and seeing what the best place for us to live in would be. I was in the kitchen, preparing to start yet another fresh canvas. Deidara had sold his kitchen table to his downstairs neighbours, giving me more room to move through.

Glancing over at where Deidara was sitting, I took in his whole form. The way he bit his lip lightly as his hand scrolled through a page he was looking at, eyes staring intently at the screen. My plan was to make him a self-portrait now. It would be a surprise for now. Perhaps we could hang it up somewhere in the apartment and then everyone could see Deidara's beauty the way I see it.

With the new calculations now we apparently had a little more money to spare, so the plans were actually moving along quite well. As soon as we now found the right apartment to live in, I would drop out of college and move out of the family home, away from my controlling father. That idea was still weird. Not living with the family anymore. Especially being away from Sasuke would be strange. He already had arranged to stay at Naruto's place for a few days, giving our father a while to cool down. No one really knew what would happen when I leave.

Letting the brush make the first stripe over the canvas I started the painting, letting the movement relax my body and forget about all the stress I have been under so far. A buzz resonated through the apartment and Deidara instantly reached for his phone, reading the message someone had left for him. I turned back to the painting and continued with what I was doing, as Deidara send a message back, instantly receiving a message again. After a few more I was finally included into the conversation.

'Would you mind doing a painting for the restaurant? Yahiko is asking if you could do one for the back wall,' he murmured, blue eyes still glued to the mobile phone rather than on me.

It was odd they would want me to paint something for them, though this was Yahiko and not the other redhead of the group. Yahiko also was dating Konan, so she might have a hand in this as well. She was still quite nice to me. 'Make an appointment with him, so we can discuss the size and price for it and also see what his idea is on what it should look like,' I replied, turning back to the painting. Better look at it in a business-like manner now. If I was really going to fit into this world, I better understand how this all should go as well.

Deidara shared a few more texts with Yahiko and then threw his phone to the side, instantly focused on his laptop again as he scrolled back up on the page. His eyes had widened a little and a slight smile had formed on his lips as his eyes moved back and forth to read something. 'I think I have found something,' he spoke up again, shooting me a glance before focusing on the laptop screen once more.

Carefully I placed my brush down and then slowly made my way over to Deidara, stepping over some finished paintings along the way. Pushing him aside a little I scooted onto the bed, eyes falling on the laptop instantly. The page was opened on a certain apartment and as I read through the description it sounded quite interesting. Two separate bedrooms, a big enough living room, a small kitchen and a bathroom. So it pretty much had everything we needed and it was already furnished. This saved us a lot of money and seeing the pictures, it looked quite nice as well. At some point we could choose to paint the walls and redo the floor, but it wouldn't be a must as soon as we moved in.

'We can use the bigger bedroom to sleep in. The bed in there is quite big, so we only need to get a new mattress. And then I thought we could use the other bedroom as your working space. You can paint there and stack everything you need. This way we wouldn't need to rent another place to give you the space for that and we won't have to fill the living room.' Deidara was flipping through the images as he spoke, showing the smaller bedroom and it could definitely work. It wasn't huge, meant for a small child probably, but I wouldn't need that much room.

Wrapping an arm around his waist I leaned my chin on his shoulder, murmuring 'and we can afford this?'

'Well, with how I calculated it we might be a little tight at times, but they have a nice arrangement here. You can pay rent in advance, so when we have a little more money because we sold quite a few of your paintings, we'll just pay more then and cover the months we have too little money.'

It all sounded so good. Still held a lot of insecurities, but this was manageable, wasn't it? 'This is it then,' I said, letting out a shaky breath right afterwards. I couldn't deny that there was a tightening feeling in my gut, nerves crashing through my body as I let it all sink in. It was only a few weeks ago that I finally made peace with the fact that I could move out and now we might've actually found something that could work. It's scary.

Closing the laptop Deidara placed it to the side and then like before crawled onto my lap. His arms were folded around my shoulders and he nuzzled my nose softly. Letting out another shaky breath I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his shoulder. 'It will all be alright, Ita,' he murmured soothingly. 'Imagine how easy your life will be when you are out of your father's clutches and are living with me.'

The idea of really living alone with Deidara made me choke up. My arms tightened around his waist and I could feel tears well up in my eyes. 'Thank you for everything, Dei,' I whispered, kissing his clothed shoulder. Tears were slowly slipping down my cheeks, letting every bit of feeling out I had been dealing with these past few weeks.

'Thank you.'


	19. Moving

One leg propped up against the dashboard had Deidara sitting relaxed in the passenger's seat of my car, chair anchored back slightly so he could lean back and stare out the window with this wide smile on his lips. I knew how his body was buzzing with excitement right now since mine was doing the same. My knuckled had turned white due to the force with which I was gripping the steering wheel and I had to check my speed a lot since I knew I would just stamp on the gas if I were allowed to.

Today we were going to have a look at the apartment we had previously only seen on the computer. The landlord had planned a quick meeting, clearly wanting to get rid of the apartment as soon as possible and that was only beneficial for us. We needed this place, before others found out about this place and snatched it right from under our noses. Finding another apartment was going to take us a very long time and I could only pray that this was exactly what we were looking for.

'I'm sure this is it, Ita,' Deidara breathed out, biting on his thumb nail through his smile.

I dared a look before I focused back on the road, stopping for a red light just in time. 'So this will be the place where we grow old and have a million babies, huh?' I replied, matching his smile now.

A deadpan look was shot my way as I stepped on the gas again as the light turned green. We actually had never really talked about it. Moving in together was a big step enough. Any other future plans were somewhere far away in the back of my mind. 'Not sure who's going to have those babies, but it sure as hell won't be me,' he grumbled, sending a fake glare my way before turning back to stare out the window.

'You don't want kids at all then? Adoption is a good option for two men,' I mused, taking a right turn as the GPS ordered me to do.

Shifting in his seat I could see a slight discomfort rising up from Deidara, clearly not very happy with this type of topic. Still it was interesting to know, though it would not be as important yet. I always imagined having kids later, but who knew for sure? We were both still quite young. 'I don't know. Never really cared for kids and don't think that will ever change,' he replied, kind of shutting off the subject that way.

'Then we'll just grow old here and have sweet nicknames for each other, right honey?' I teased, deciding it was indeed alright to shut up about children. Today we shouldn't focus on that. Today we should focus on the apartment itself.

Smile slipping back on his lips Deidara then shot me a look, eyebrow raised as he clacked his tongue. 'Whatever you say, sweetie,' he replied, shooting me a wink.

Chuckling softly I felt myself relax in my seat, finally setting in the last turn as we drove onto the small parking lot in front of the apartment building. How was Deidara always able to make me feel so at ease? 'And we're here, my beauty,' I replied, parking the car in the last free spot.

'That's just too much,' Deidara grumbled as he shook his head, getting out of the car as I let a chuckle drift after him. What? It was a nice nickname, wasn't it? Following after Deidara I got out as well and locked the car with the little remote, trudging towards the entrance to the apartment building.

It wasn't too big. I guessed about fifty households were in here. Would be very different to move from having barely any neighbours to having a whole floor of neighbours. The landlord greeted us at entrance hall already, opening the door and letting us enter the building. A bit of a chubby man who would do better to keep his hair short than have these long parts of hair on the side of his face, but he was friendly enough and really seemed to want to get us to live here. Leading us up a few flight of stairs I noticed the hallways were well kept. Not squeaky clean, but it was far better than the place Deidara now lived at.

Sharing some small talk the man opened the door for us and then hurried back downstairs, mentioning something about more people coming to see another apartment that was vacant as well. Now we had the opportunity to just move through the flat and decide what we think of it.

Stepping right into the living room, the apartment having no hallway at all, we looked around curiously. The living room was indeed quite big in comparison to the rest and the furniture that still stood there was perhaps a little worn out, but didn't look bad. We had a couch, a coffee table, a bookcase and lastly also a TV stand, without a TV. The basics were here and it would prevent us from spending even more money. When we had the money for it, we could of course replace some things, but it would simply happen gradually. Sharing a nod we acknowledged the fact that we indeed liked the start of it. Now moving on to the rest of the house.

The kitchen was outdated to say the least. The cabinets were an off green colour and the tiles a soft yellow, the colour having grown darker over the years. The furnace was old, rusty stains covering the entire thing and the refrigerator that was left behind made a loud buzzing noise constantly. This would be the first room that needed to be fixed, but everything worked and there was one beneficial thing about it. The room was so narrow that when you would pass someone standing by the counter, you were forced to have your hips touch. Now this was an excuse I was obviously going to use often.

'It's probably a good thing we aren't great cooks, huh?' Deidara muttered, peeling at the black paint coming off the furnace and grimacing when it got stuck under his nail.

Letting a smirk slip on I turned towards him, leaving the fridge alone for now. 'Oh, but I thought now that we would be living together, you would become the perfect housewife and cook me all these amazing meals.'

'I believe you are the one that will be working from the house, while I actually have a job in the city, so if anyone is going to be cooking us meals, it's you,' Deidara pointed out, literally pointing a finger against my chest and then flicking my nose. 'And the correct term would be househusband.' He then simply pushed passed me and moved back into the spacious living room, continuing on to the next room, which was the children's bedroom. There was even still a crib standing inside, but we would have no use for that.

The wall paper was a baby blue with little yellow ducks printed all over them. Not what would really suit my work place, but it might get paint all over it anyway. Not something we should be worrying over. The room was nicely square, giving it easy access to everything. We would only have to buy a cheap cabinet where I could store everything.

Glancing over at Deidara with a smile I noticed he was wiggling his eyebrows at me while stepping backwards through the door. 'Let's take a look at where the magic happens.' And then he had slipped out, hurrying towards the next door he came across, which was actually the bathroom. I had followed after him and immediately noticed this had the same colour tiles as the kitchen, together with a just as outdated shower, but the stall was quite big and could possibly hold us both easily if we wanted to shower together. 'We're going to change these tiles as soon as we can,' Deidara grumbled and then closed the door, clearly not happy he had not yet seen the bedroom yet.

Reaching the last door of the apartment Deidara slowly opened it, first only letting his head peek in and as soon as he was satisfied with what he saw, he swung it open.

The walls had the same beige colour as the living room and the floor was a light wooden colour laminate. In the centre of the room stood a sturdy bed made out of a dark wood, kind of falling out of place in the room, but it was actually a really nice bed. The mattress was gone, which was to be expected, but we wanted a new one anyway. Matching the dark wood there was a closet against the side wall and a dresser opposite of the bed, giving room to place another TV on if you wished. Together with the living room these were the most spacious rooms and that was really nice.

Right behind the bed there was a huge window giving a view of the city in the far distance, buildings towering high up into the sky. It was framed by a red velvet curtain, giving the room a bit of a romantic vibe.

Silence had settled between us as we glanced around the apartment one more time and then we met again in the living room by the door.

'I love it,' Deidara whispered.

'Me too.'

* * *

A week later we were moving all of Dei's stuff into the apartment. He had more junk than I first had anticipated, but it fit easily in the much larger apartment. The bed was already gone out of the small bedroom and all of my painting stuff was put up there. I had loads of space left. This would work a lot better.

I had already moved some of my stuff here, but not too much. Everyday a little more would come, so that my parents wouldn't notice. The last things will come with me when I truly left.

Deidara was folding his clothes and putting it in the closet and drawers. I was hanging up a certain painting on the left wall in the living room. I had given it to him last night and he was overjoyed, but said I had to paint one of myself. Then they could hang right next to each other. I guess I had more work to do.

Deidara came shuffling out of the bedroom on his slippers, already feeling right at home. He looked perfect here and it would be great living with him here. The best part was that we could go somewhere when we were annoying each other. We haven't really been fighting, but who knows what would happen when we really live together.

'The T.V. is way too small for this apartment,' he said staring at the thing. It really was, but we hadn't got any money to buy a new one. It had to do for now, so I just shrugged my shoulders. Couldn't be helped.

'I think everything is done,' is said after hanging up the painting perfectly. Deidara was staring at it with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed. He cocked his head to the left, then to the right and back to the left.

'Looks great,' he said finally. He really made me worry there. 'I think we're done too. Everything is put into place and there is only one thing left to do.'

I frowned, not really understanding what he meant. There was nothing left to do, but rest.

He leaned against the wall of the hallway and traced the outline with his finger. He studied it as if it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, with pouted lips. 'I believe we have a lot of places to break in.'

My eyes widened and I my erection started building right away. Oh, I would break this house in alright. I grabbed the blonde by his waist, swung him over my shoulder and took us both to the bedroom. He laughed the whole way there.


	20. Living Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And sex :D So not much plot going on here... Enjoy!

The bedroom had now been thoroughly broken in. Breathing heavily Deidara was lying on his back, eyes closed as his chest rose and fell with every breath he took. Having flopped down next to him I was staring at his face, seeing the sweat trickle down from his forehead to disappear in his hair. The blond locks were all tangled up, a knotted mess on top of his head, but he didn't seem to care at this point. My face was partially smashed into the mattress since I had taken my position lying on my stomach.

I expected to be here for a while, simply relaxing on the bed and relish in the moment we had just shared. Also since I still had to stay at the family home and couldn't spend the night here. I might be gone for an awful long time and would get some comments from my parents, but it would be worth it. Strangely enough Deidara didn't share my idea of staying in bed. Without a word he sat up, swung his legs over the edge of the bed and shuffled towards the bedroom door. Right before he turned the corner he dared a look at me and wiggled his eyebrows, confusing me even more.

Right as I started to sit up, leaning onto my arms to keep my face from being smashed by the mattress even more, music started playing. And not the kind of music Deidara really listened to or everything. Frowning at the music now coming from the living room I got up. My legs still felt a little wobbly, so I took my time, letting the song play out with its soft vulgar lyrics. How they managed to make it sound so sweet was quite a mystery.

As I got into the living room my eyes immediately fell on Deidara, sitting on the couch, legs spread apart with this grin on his lips that meant I was in for some fun. I guess we were not done breaking in the house just yet.

'Nice way to set the mood,' I murmured, keeping my gaze transfixed on the body before me, seeing Deidara slide his fingers over his stomach up to his chest, only to slide right back down.

He hummed first, letting his eyes roam over my still very naked body and then the grin only widened. 'Then why don't you dance to it?' Such a challenge. What was the guy even up to? Dancing to this music was barely possible unless you start rubbing up against each other, which might be the end thought to this all.

Not that I would deny such a challenge anyway and with the way Deidara was already touching himself, I could do the same. Swaying my hips from left to right, sort of, following the beat of the music. My hands were moving up and down my sides and then gradually moved towards the centre, brushing along my nipples and pelvis. Deidara's hands on his body started to get bolder as well, sometimes moving down to slide his fingers against his cock only to set me off.

And then I might've ruined the mood by singing along the lyrics, but I knew them by heart, so how could I not? ' _Let me lick you up and down, till you say stop. Let me play with your body, baby. Make you real hot…_ '

The room was filled with Deidara's laughter after that, but he still motioned me to join him on the couch, flinging his arms around my neck as soon as I bend down to touch him. Our lips immediately joined into a kiss, Deidara's laugh still mixing in with it. There was just this relaxed vibe to it. It didn't matter if it hadn't been very sexy what I had done. We were still having fun and with the way Deidara's hand had moved down between our bodies and was now stroking me again to get me hard, I would say the mood was doing quite alright.

Letting soft groans slip into the kiss I let Deidara know he was doing a good job at getting me ready again and oh, how I wanted this round two now. Taking Deidara's lip ring between my lips I sucked on it, making Deidara shiver below me. I was already bringing my two hands between his thighs, wanting to part them more so I could settle between them and slide my erection in. Prepping wasn't needed now fortunately, because of the first round in the bedroom and I wanted him so badly. But then my hands were pushed away effectively and before I knew it Deidara had even crawled away from under me. He was not blue-balling me, was he?

Confused I turned around and simply saw him standing in front of the couch, arms crossed over his chest and cock standing proudly pretty much in front of my face. Letting a smirk slip onto my lips I stuck out my tongue, letting it circle around the head. Deidara's tough demeanour immediately came crumbling down, lips parted to let out soft sighs, pupils blown as his darkened blue eyes were staring down and take in every move I made.

Trailing my tongue down the side I followed his whole length and then slipped back up, parting my lips to take in the head first, giving it a harsh suck and force a broken moan from Deidara. My hand moved up to grab his dick by the base, stroking that softly as I moved my lips further down and reach as far as I could. A drawn out groan bubbled up out of Deidara's throat as he saw me slide down, my cheeks hollowing as I sucked my way back up. Another swirl of my tongue around the head made Deidara grab a hold of my hair, twisting it on top of my head. As he pulled it slightly I moved back down a little faster this time and then took the same slow pace back up.

Impatience was shining through as soon as Deidara started thrusting into my mouth. He made sure not to do it too roughly, but I got the hint and started bobbing my head up and down faster, my hand matching the pace of my lips.

And then in a swift movement Deidara placed his hand against my shoulder and pushed me off. Eyes hazed over with lust Deidara looked down at me, breathing heavily already. In the mean time I was shifting in my place, sitting back on the couch, the soft cushions pressed into my back and neck.

Stepping forward Deidara placed his feet on either side of my legs, sitting down to get comfortable in my lap. First he placed his hands on my chest and then slid them down, raking his nails all over my torso. A sighed softly, closing my as eyes as the sting coursed through my body and settle in my cock. I hadn't noticed he was leaning forward now until he whispered something into my ear. 'I'm going to fuck you,' he murmured, voice reaching low.

With a loud groan I reached for his ass and parted the cheeks harshly, the idea of what was about to happen really getting to me. This was a position we hadn't tried yet. I was usually the one in control, being the one on top, but having Deidara in my lap and just…

Shifting a little forward Deidara positioned himself right and grabbed a hold of my erection, placing the head against his ring of muscles. I could feel it opening up already as I kept his cheeks spread, still being thoroughly prepared from before. And then he just slowly sank down, first sucking in the head and then halting for a moment, testing what the movement did by moving back and forth a bit. I wanted to keep my eyes opened and watch him do it all, but the feeling was also too great. My hands were still under his ass, having slight control of everything, but I would've done this much faster, already having Deidara pressed snuggly against my thighs, but he was only halfway.

The last few centimetres went awfully slow, Deidara's walls taking everything in gradually. But then finally he was sitting in my lap, his walls squeezing and releasing every few seconds. Deidara's eyes were closed and his chest was rising and falling quite fast. Right as I was starting to worry, thinking something had gone wrong he choked out a chuckle, finally opening his eyes to look down at me. 'God,' he muttered. 'This, this feels really… amazing. I-I can't really explain it.' He chuckled again and just due to his words I groaned again, just wanting to continue now. He loved this position then…

After a long minute of Deidara just sitting there, savouring the feeling of me being inside of him, he finally moved. Pushing himself out of my lap, hands placed on my abdomen to make it easier, he slipped up till only the head of my cock was still inside. Due to the lack of control now I really thought it would fall out and that made me choke on my breath, the need to do something growing bigger and bigger. But by then Deidara was sliding back down as if nothing had happened. As he reached down again he rolled his hips around, making circle motions and it send all kinds of waves right through my cock, causing me to shiver when he rolled just the right way.

I didn't really see what was happening, eyes closed to simply focus on everything I was feeling, so when Deidara picked up the pace, I groaned out quite loudly. The way his own sounds were falling off his lips constantly didn't help my resolve either. Deidara was really enjoying this and rode me in ways I didn't even consider possible.

And then arms were wrapped around my neck as Deidara fell forward, the pace decreasing to a minimum. 'Ita, faster, faster,' he then whined in my ear, unable to reach the pace he wanted to feel and of course I would oblige to that request.

Grabbing his hips firmly and bracing my legs on the floor, I pushed him up and slammed him down again, making him choke out a loud moan. It took some time to reach a nice pace like this, but soon Deidara was bouncing up and down in my lap, his hard cock slapping against my abdomen with every thrust. His ass cheeks were spread apart completely by my hands as I still forced him up and down. The sound of skin smacking against skin resonated through the room, reaching over the music that was still playing. Our minds were too far again to even think of that anyway.

Nails were digging into my neck with the sheer force Deidara was holding on to me and every sound immediately reached my ear. At some point I could feel drool dribbling onto my shoulder. Deidara didn't even notice what was happening anymore, his mouth opened to let out moan after moan, every thrust forcing another one out. We hadn't had sex this hard yet, my hips snapping up to reach deep inside of him, but god, did it feel good. I could feel the warmth spreading in my abdomen and I knew I wouldn't last long anymore, but seeing Deidara like this, it shouldn't be long for him either.

And then the whining started, broken sobs causing pauses in his words. 'Ita… I'm coming… I'm… I'm coming.' It was almost sad to hear him make those sounds, but I knew it had a good outcome. It didn't take him long after that. Finally crying out loudly Deidara shot his load onto my stomach, his hips trying to thrust along to make his orgasm last longer, but it only messed up the pace. He didn't care though, his body shaking as he slowly came down from his high, completely undone now.

Decreasing the pace now I just kept it even, focusing completely on reaching my own completion. Completely exhausted Deidara had flopped down on my chest and was just waiting till it was over. All his energy was spent and now obviously he did want to relax. It didn't take me too long, thrusting into the abused hole a few more times until I also came, pushing my cock up deep inside of him to come inside.

After riding out my orgasm, pushing up a few more times to make sure I was finished as well, I realised how my body ached now. Every muscle in my body was complaining, feeling like they had done too much work for the day. Deidara didn't move an inch from on top of me, only winced slightly when my softened dick suddenly slipped out. And that meant I couldn't move either. So we stayed there, lying on the couch for hours, simply enjoying each other's company for as long as we could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> And the song you should know. If you don't, shame on you. It's called Freak Me. Look it up. You will be happy you did :D *coughs*


	21. Almost Done

'I can't believe you're letting me sleep alone on the first night we have this apartment,' Deidara commented, sending me a half glare, because he knew I couldn't do anything about it, yet. It wasn't easy to part now, but we had to. If I stayed away now, my parents would notice something was up and it would make all of this a whole lot more difficult. It was better to not test it and just sleep at home for now. Deidara was used to living on his own anyway.

Slipping on my coat I already stood by the door, keys in hand and ready to leave for the night. 'You know I have to. I wish it would be different, but it isn't,' I replied in a monotone, cursing myself for sounding so coolly. It was just a tone I had gotten used to over the years, because most people I had spoken to didn't have as much meaning as Deidara did now. A horrible habit I needed to get rid of.

'I know, I know,' Deidara replied, letting out a soft sigh. He was leaning against the wall beside the bathroom door, staring at me from his position. His eyes had turned a little sad as he looked at me and then he quickly averted his gaze. Of course this wasn't the ideal thing to do and I knew Deidara worried about me. He had heard the stories about my father and was aware of the things that might happen. So of course he didn't want me to go, but stopping me from leaving would not turn out well either. It was a tough spot we were both in. 'When…' He hesitated then, unsure if he should continue or not. 'When will you come live here with me?'

An honest question and one I couldn't really answer. We now had almost everything arranged. I only needed to take the final steps and then I was out of there, but these were the hardest to take. Leaving my family home was an odd idea. Even though I hated it there often enough, it was still home. Sasuke was there and even though my mother wasn't a very independent woman anymore, she was still always so sweet to me and I did love her. 'After I have gotten all my stuff from there and have told my parents about leaving,' I replied, trying not to let my emotions shine through too much. It wasn't a very clear answer either, because when would that even be?

Pushing himself off the wall Deidara made his way towards me and straightened out my collar, ignoring the emotions that did shine through, because of course Deidara understood how this felt. 'I could go with you, if you want,' he offered then.

'I wouldn't put you in that kind of danger. I don't know how father will react and I rather have him take out his anger on me than on you.' He nodded in reply, not fully agreeing with it, but he would accept my wishes. 'But you could be close by and wait in the car for me, so we are still together after I left,' I added, realising I would really like that. It would be as if Deidara was by my side, supporting me through every word I might speak to my father.

'Alright, we'll do that then,' Deidara replied softly, leaning up to give me a final kiss before I left. 'Tomorrow when you're here we'll plan when we'll do it then.' A sweet smile then formed on his lips as a reassurance that everything would be fine and I almost believed it.

'I love you, Dei,' I murmured as I finally opened the door and moved out to leave.

'I love you too,' was called after me.

* * *

Having the whole house to myself today I used this time to pack up the last things I needed to take to the apartment and officially move out. My parents had gone into town or something to do some shopping and would be back around dinner time, giving me enough time to pack the last things. After arranging everything with the college I attended I now felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The person I had talked had not really cared about what I wanted to do and helped me through the process quite easily. It would become a problem once the news reached one of the professors, who was a good friend of my father. And since it was weekend, he would not find out until Monday. I now just had to deal with my father by myself.

Downstairs were both Deidara and Sasuke, keeping each other company while giving me the space to work it all out. It was good to be alone now, saying goodbye to everything I had here. I couldn't wait till I lived with Deidara, but still… It wasn't easy. None of it. And if it hadn't been for Deidara, then I might never have left. Or at least not until Father had set me up with a woman who was marriage material.

With the last bag slung over my shoulder I made my way downstairs. The car was already loaded with stuff, but this last bag should fit in there somewhere. My computer was carefully placed between two bags of clothes, so that should survive the journey. We might have no need for a second computer, but mine was slightly better than Deidara's and we could sell one to get some extra cash out of it. Maybe buy a TV or something.

Now it was all done. I was officially moving out. The only thing I still had to do was talk to my parents and that would be that. Though looking at it like that might not be the smartest move. This might actually be the most difficult part of it all. How would my father even react?

After closing off the car I got back inside and joined Deidara and Sasuke in the living room who were just sharing a light conversation. I sank down in the couch beside Deidara and heaved a heavy sigh, leaning my head against his shoulder to show of my misery.

Petting me on the head Deidara tried to make me feel better, but the motion was not that nice. 'It's all going to be alright, Ita. It will be over before you know it,' he said soothingly.

In the love seat on the side was Sasuke seated, glancing down at his phone while vigorously typing away at the keys, sending message after message. It was almost like he was trying to hook up with some girl again, though it might just be me reminiscing to those times. Sasuke really was a changed man if I thought about it. Naruto did him well.

'Naruto will be here in fifteen minutes,' he announced and then stuffed his phone away.

Grabbing a lock of Deidara's hair, I distracted myself by raking my fingers through it, sliding out any kind of tangle my fingers found on their way. 'Okay, that's good. Father should be home in about an hour, so you will be gone by then. Make sure you can stay at least a week at Naruto's place to make sure the mood has died down here. If you can't stay with him, give me a call and we'll make room for you.' Even that I had already planned out. Deidara couldn't be in harm's way, but Sasuke shouldn't be either. If he would get the blame in some way for this, then I would never forgive myself.

'I know already,' Sasuke replied like the little brat he was, rolling his eyes at me. 'We've been through this a thousand times now, so stop stressing. I'm settled. Worry about yourself instead.' And that was exactly what I didn't want to do. I didn't want to think about what was coming my way. Maybe it was better to just not prepare and go in blind.

Feeling a hand slide alongside my face I looked up in Deidara's bright eyes I came to love so much. 'I think we both worry enough about Itachi already, don't you agree?' he muttered to Sasuke while keeping our gazes locked. It did distract me a little bit, letting the words simply flow passed me. Focusing on Deidara was far better. It promised great thing, because I was about to spend my life with him and have all these new experiences. We would really build a home together.

'Maybe we should all just stop worrying then!' Sasuke announced stubbornly, but he knew we all couldn't. This was a very scary situation. One we couldn't exactly predict and this was about the people we loved. We didn't want to see anyone harmed in this situation, but what were the odds to that happening? Father was not going to be pleased with this turn of events.

After that the room stayed silent, the clock ticking the time away somewhere against the back wall. A clock that once belonged to my grandmother. When she passed it went to my father and I would be the next in line to receive it. Perhaps not anymore though. Finally the doorbell rang, signalling Sasuke's ride had come. At first we jumped at the sound, thinking it was our parents already, but then realised they would not ring the bell. Sasuke then quickly jumped up and moved to the door, first slamming the living room door open, it creaking under the pressure. Can't the brat just open doors the way normal people do it?

Naruto and Sasuke shared some words by the front door, but Naruto never came in, only accepting Sasuke's bag and then moving back to the car. He probably didn't own one, so a parent or something most have driven him here. Would that person know exactly what's going on here or did Sasuke even leave Naruto in the dark? I never really thought about asking, but the result of this was also important to what would happen to Sasuke and his relationship in the future.

Coming back towards the living room this time Sasuke actually did it softly and of course I needed to applaud that. I never thought I would see the day that happened. Sasuke responded with an eye roll to it, exactly understanding what I meant, while Deidara shot us both a confused look. One day he would understand our strange brotherly relationship.

Reaching the couch Sasuke leaned down for a tight hug, whispering in my ear about how much he loved me and that I should take good care of myself. I couldn't really make myself respond to it, because it only emphasized how scary this situation really was. We knew that Father could react physically in these situations, but we had no idea what his boundaries were. What was that man really capable of?

After the goodbye Sasuke left and with the slamming of the front door it all felt so final. This was it. Glancing over at Deidara I could see the rigidness of his body, showing off I wasn't the only one anxious about what was about to happen. We could fill the room with empty words and sweet "I love you"s, but what would it really do? We knew all that already. I could even practise what I would say to my father, but would it make a difference? Would father even let me finish speaking once I started? Or would he call it bullshit, making this ordeal only tougher?

'It's getting close to six, so I think I'll go wait in the car now, just in case they are a little early. Wouldn't do you any good if they saw me leaving the house,' Deidara said softly and stood up. I know he kissed me one last time before he left, but everything just passed by in a daze. My heart was beating rapidly inside my chest and I was breathing shallowly. Perhaps the stress would kill me before my father would even come home.

A few minutes later, even though it felt like a decade, I heard a car pull up on the driveway. The front lights flashed through the window for a second and then disappeared as the car was shut off. Pushing myself of the couch I slowly made my way towards the front door. Every footstep felt heavier and I could barely breathe by the time I got to the front door. But I was there and I would wait until they had entered on their own accord. The heels mother was wearing tapped loudly against the stone porch and then the sound stopped. It was as if minutes passed before a key was jammed into the lock.

I took one last deep breath just in time before the door flung open.


	22. The End

'Hello, father.'

Dark eyes shot up to my face, surprise written all over his features. Being this close to me I could now clearly see how deep his worry lines had gotten over the years, the stress of work and other things cutting deep edges into his face. None of those wrinkles were made due to smiling too often, I was sure of that. His keys were still dangling in his hand and he hadn't even entered the house yet, still standing in the doorway. Mother was right there behind me, her eyes widened slightly. It was almost as if she knew already.

'Itachi,' he suddenly casted out and then the surprise ebbed away from his face. His attention went back to the bags in his hands and he pushed passed me to enter, his keys being flung onto the little shelf we had there. 'What are you doing here? I thought you were going out,' he added, no curiosity in his voice whatsoever. Apparently he didn't question me standing here at all.

Mother stepped inside after Father, shooting me a sweet smile, though the worry was clearly evident in her eyes. She knew or at least understood something was off. 'Hello Itachi. Nice of you to greet us like this,' she spoke and then gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. It was odd to have Mother act so formal with me, but I blamed it all on Father. He had taught her this.

'I won't be long,' I replied to my father instead, ignoring my mother's empty words. They meant nothing now. 'I'll be leaving soon.' And Father had no idea for how long I really would be leaving for.

Humming as an acknowledgement to my words Father placed the bags in his hand on the floor and then took his coat off, still not seeing what was happening here. Mother was staying quiet. Standing straight up he immediately towered about an inch above me. He was not exactly taller, but he always made sure he seemed taller, carrying himself high up with his ego. Quite impressive if you thought about it. 'So what can we do for you then? You must have a reason to be here waiting on us.' Finally the suspicion had mixed in with his voice.

And now it was the moment of truth. I could go ahead and ask them to join me in the living room and take a seat, but it was best to tell them right away. Rip it off like a Band-Aid. It also gave my father less of an opportunity to do something to me. I could simply slip out of the house and avoid any kind of physical confrontation, hopefully.

'I dropped out of college and I'm moving out,' I said in one breath and then it just stayed completely silent for a very long time.

Many emotions crossed my father's face. First confusing as he didn't understand what I exactly what I was saying, but as realisation started to dawn on him, first surprise came by, following very quickly by anger and that stayed there, a deep frown furrowing his eyebrows together and his eyes narrowed, shining with rage. My heart was racing in my throat as I waited for an answer and as I saw him raise his hand, ready to hit me as he had done before, I closed my eyes and waited for the impact. Strangely enough it never came and when I opened my eyes I saw something I had not counted on at all. Mother was holding onto his arm, preventing him from actually hitting me. This was the first time she stood up for me like that.

'Wait, sweetheart,' she spoke in her soft voice and when he looked down at her, she actually granted him a smile. One he did not deserve at all. I wondered if she actually really did love him, but that was none of my concern now. 'Let him explain first. Maybe he has a very good reason for all this.' I guess she was also hoping for a good explanation, one Father could be happy with, but there would be nothing. There was nothing in my decisions that would make Father proud of me.

Funnily enough he accepted her words and lowered his arm, pulling his arm out of her hold and then he turned his gaze back to me, waiting for me to elaborate.

'I don't think I will have a very satisfying answer for you,' I began, preparing them for the news that was about to come. I could see the features of Father turning back to anger again and I knew I had to be ready for the next raise of a hand, because this time my mother won't be able to stop him, I was sure of that. 'But I have not been very happy as of late or maybe I have not been happy for a very long time. This is why I have decided to make some changes and this is quitting college and moving out among things.'

Shaking his head Father clacked his tongue, glancing over at Mother to see if she shared his disappointment, but for now she simply looked worried. 'And you really believe you can achieve happiness by doing all this? Happiness is something you work for. You study hard and then get the job you want, find the woman that is perfect for you and then, then you achieve happiness. So I am not sure what you are on about, but you should just stop this nonsense.' And now I knew how he saw everything, though I was very aware of how he saw everyone's future.

Keeping up the politeness, because I would not be accused of being rude to my parents and then have other problems in the future. Father did have a lot of power in the city. I bowed before them as a thank you in a way. 'I'm sorry, but I do not agree and I am old enough to make my own decisions. I am no longer a child, so I can fight for the dreams I have.' I let out a shaky breath, glad I finally had it out and find out I could indeed stand up against my father. I did not need to agree with everything he said. This was my life. Mine.

'This was why that blond boy was outside, wasn't it?' Father suddenly spat out and fear then creeped back up in my throat. He had seen him?! Deidara had stayed in the car, right? 'It's disgusting you decide to stay with that man and I will not have it. This is over. You stop this right now, Itachi!' And there he was telling me what to do again, but I will not listen.

'I won't stop.'

Father choked out a laugh, staring at me unbelievably. He turned to Mother to see if she shared his enjoyment, but she was now looking rather frightening, taking a step back from him. This was the moment where everything turned around, because the smile soon slipped away and now he was just full of rage. 'You will stop and you are not going anywhere.' The way he now towered over me, forcing me to submit made me want to step back, but I wouldn't give in. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing I still feared him.

'You cannot make me stay,' I replied lowly, darkening my look the way he had done as well. 'As I said before I am no longer a child and you have no legal right to tell me what to do.' And that was it. I would not say more about the matter. Now it was time to leave. 'Sasuke is staying at a friend's house, so don't wait up for him. He doesn't know where I live, so don't bother asking. Now it's my time to leave. Thank you for everything you have done for me.'

And then as I turned away to reach for the door knob, I felt the hand hit me square in the face. The taste of blood immediately rose up in my mouth, my teeth having nicked my cheek. The skin on my cheek started to sting and I could feel the blood rushing to the surface, forming a nice hand print right there under the surface. Slowly I raised my head to look at him. His hand was still raised up, ready to strike again and I knew he would not regret any of them, as long as it made me stay and behave like the good son I was supposed to be.

The adrenaline was coursing through my body now and my own anger took over. How dare he hit me? How dare he ever have laid a hand on me in the first place? How dare he?! My whole body was shaking by the time I stood straight up at him, shooting him a look that showed exactly how I felt. Gritting my teeth I raised my own hand, forming it in a fist instead and I hit him right across the face, much like he had done with me. Instantly he fell to the floor, clutching his broken nose. My hand hurt like hell and I was sure I had broken the skin, but I would take care of that later.

With one last look I turned around and opened the door, slamming it hard against the side wall. I would make a great exit instead of an entrance. And then without anything left to say I stepped outside and left them there. It was finally all over.

* * *

And then I was in the car, driving us back to our apartment. My hand really hurt by now, but I was gritting through the pain. The skin had split indeed and it would need some attention, but that was not what was on my mind now. Deidara had been quiet the whole ride so far, daring glances at my hand, but he didn't say anything about it.

Parking the car in front of the building we were finally there. This was truly my home now. We got out and grabbed some stuff to take up, but left the rest for tomorrow. There was nothing very interesting in there now since we took the computer with us. I winced under the weight of it, my hand throbbing now. I took the stairs two steps at a time and Deidara had to hurry to be able to match my pace, but the adrenaline was still so present and I had no other way to get rid of it.

The trip up was short and soon we were inside the apartment, placing the stuff on the ground and just leaving them there for now. With a heavy sigh I flopped down on the couch and I felt Deidara land beside me, scooting up right next to me and then letting out a hum. We were both exhausted and we hadn't even done that much. The stress of it all just really getting to us.

Eventually the first to speak was Deidara, leaning his head against my shoulder and smiled up at me. 'Just us now,' he murmured.

'Just us,' I breathed out, matching his smile.

'Happy yet?'

I glanced over at him, seeing the soft sparkle in his bright blue eyes and I could feel my heart skip a beat at the sheer sight of him. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer, placing a soft kiss right on top of his head. I kept him there, relishing in the feeling of holding him, having him right here.

'Well?' he asked again, finally demanding an answer.

'Very close.' And I really was.


	23. Epilogue

Those two years had gone by so fast and I was still living happily together with the blond. Life had been very kind to us ever since we decided to make the step to do this together. A few months ago we were able to buy our very own art gallery and with the visitors and buyers coming to the exhibit, we had it a lot better. We had money to spare and could live a very relaxed life now. Deidara worked in the art gallery, giving tours through the hall and selling paintings when people were interested enough. My job was obviously to create the paintings and this was what I did every day, working hard to create more and more and enjoying every second of it. Now I was mostly working on giving the gallery a great look, making sure it pulled people in. The most important one was the one that would be seen right as you came in and that needed to be a big one. So my creativity was put to the test often, but I didn't mind. This was what I loved doing.

I hadn't spoken to my father ever since I left that day and I didn't miss him at all. I finally felt free. My mother called once in a while, but in secret. Father didn't need to know she was talking to me. It was for the best that way.

Someone who was doing great was Sasuke. He had now become the heir to the Uchiha throne and this was exactly what he had always wanted. To take over the company and follow in my father's footsteps. In a way he was the son my father had always wanted, except for the fact that the best friend that stayed over often to study was actually his boyfriend. When Sasuke was going to tell them, I wasn't sure, but he did need to do it at some point, if he ever wanted to choose his own outcome. I don't believe Father would kick him out of the family now though. He couldn't lose face again as he had done with me.

Right as I was about to place the brush back against the canvas, the door slammed open, startling me slightly. Had Sasuke come to visit? No, it was just Deidara, grinding his teeth together as he shot me a heavy glare.

'What the hell is this?' he hissed, holding up a piece of paper and waving it in front of my face as if it had done something awful to him. The anger was clearly written on his face, but I would not give in and fall for this. I had of course done this all on purpose.

Acting as if I had no idea what this paper exactly was, I took it from him and glanced it over. 'It's an information sheet about adoption,' I said matter-of-factly and then handed him the paper back.

Staring back at me with wide eyes and mouth agape I knew he was angry, really angry, but I had no other idea on how to even propose idea and the shock effect might work, right? 'And exactly what do we have this paper here?' he asked softly, giving me an opportunity to save myself, which I was not going to take.

'Because I wanted some information on adoption.'

His look only got worse, staring at me as if had lost my mind. 'Shouldn't we have at least discussed this?' he asked exasperated, flinging the paper in my face again as if it would solve some of the problems he had with this situation right now.

Carefully I placed my paintbrush down and wiped my hand on a cloth, cleaning the access paint off it. 'I already know you are not interested, but I wanted to see what it was like anyway. I'm not forcing anything on you, but it's always better to be prepared.'

'Really?' Deidara asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

'Of course I would not force you into anything,' I replied, looking at him as if he had lost his mind now, but then changed my look, making it more hopeful. 'Unless you want to talk about it…'

'No!' he called out, eyes wide again and fear apparent in his eyes. 'I don't want babies! I am only 21 years old. I am not ready for this!'

I know I had been getting ahead of myself, but I believed we were ready for the next step and to me this was the next step. 'Why not? We have a secure life now and could afford it. And the best part is that I would be so happy to become a dad.' I let a soft smile slip into my lips, showing him just how it would make me feel.

'Stop using that against me! You are already happy!'

Moving towards him I brushed a strand of hair out of his face and then leaned down for a kiss, trying to convince him once again. 'Just think about it, Dei, please,' I murmured.

'Fine,' he eventually sighed defeated, leaning heavily against my chest while I cheered on the inside.

'I love you, Dei.'

'I love you too.'


End file.
